F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 200, CS6.
Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules
Why wasn’t the moon hungry?
Because it was full!
Interesting Fact: The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the earth’s rotation of 1000 miles per hour. ( http://www.moonconnection.com/moon_facts.phtml )
F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320, CS6.
Bald Eagles ( Juveniles )
Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?
I don’t know?
Because he needed a quarter back.
Interesting Fact: Sometimes even the national bird has to cut loose. Bald Eagles have been known to play with plastic bottles and other objects pressed into service as toys. One observer witnessed six Bald Eagles passing sticks to each other in midair. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )
F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.
Mute Swan
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
Interesting Fact: Short legs placed well back on the body give Mute Swans an awkward walking gait, but the birds can run quickly if pursued and can take off from land and water, flying with head and neck extended. On the water they sometimes hold their wings slightly raised and “sail” with the wind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )
F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320, Photoshop CS6.
Mute Swan
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”
The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”
So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”
The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”
So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”
The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”
Interesting Fact: Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )
F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320, Photoshop CS6.
Black-capped Chickadee
What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop Music.
Interesting Fact: Winter flocks with chickadees serving as the nucleus contain mated chickadee pairs and nonbreeders, but generally not the offspring of the adult pairs within that flock. Other species that associate with chickadee flocks include nuthatches, woodpeckers, kinglets, creepers, warblers and vireos. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory )
F/16.0, 30, ISO 100, Photoshop CS6.
On New Year’s Eve, Jenny stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck – the bartender was almost crushed to death.
Interesting Fact: During the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire years began on the date on which each consul first entered office. This was probably 1 May before 222 BC, 15 March from 222 BC to 154 BC,[7] and 1 January from 153 BC.[8] In 45 BC, when Julius Caesar‘s new Julian calendar took effect, the Senate fixed 1 January as the first day of the year. At that time, this was the date on which those who were to hold civil office assumed their official position, and it was also the traditional annual date for the convening of the Roman Senate. This civil new year remained in effect throughout the Roman Empire, east and west, during its lifetime and well after, wherever the Julian calendar continued in use. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year#Historical_European_new_year_dates )
F/ 7.1, 1/200, ISO 640, Photoshop CS6.
Northern Shoveler Ducks
Day 358 / 365
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa.”
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. :)” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa. :(”
11. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you’re sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue for personal injury.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.
Interesting Fact: Christmas Eve refers to the evening or entire day preceding Christmas Day, a widely celebrated festival commemorating the birth of Jesus of Nazareth.[4] Christmas Day is observed around the world, and Christmas Eve is widely observed as a full or partial holiday in anticipation of Christmas Day. Together, both days are considered one of the most culturally significant celebrations in Christendom and Western society. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Eve#Historical_events )
F/ 13.0, 1/60, ISO 200, Photoshop CS6.
Day 351 / 365
A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. When the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day.
He replied “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting further away from the paint can”.
Interesting Fact: Ancient colored walls at Dendera, Egypt, which were exposed for years to the elements, still possess their brilliant color, as vivid as when they were painted about 2,000 years ago. The Egyptians mixed their colors with a gummy substance, and applied them separately from each other without any blending or mixture. They appear to have used six colors: white, black, blue, red, yellow, and green. They first covered the area entirely with white, then traced the design in black, leaving out the lights of the ground color. They used minium for red, and generally of a dark tinge. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paint#History )
F/9.0, 1/60, ISO 320, Photoshop CS6.
Day 349 / 365
Mother: “why are you home from school so early?” son: “i was the only one who could answer a question.” mother: “oh, really?
What was the question?” son: “who threw the eraser at the principal?”
source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Eraser#ixzz3uRglUMj4
Interesting Fact: Before rubber erasers, tablets of rubber or wax were used to erase lead or charcoal marks from paper. Bits of rough stone such as sandstone or pumice were used to remove small errors from parchment or papyrus documents written in ink. Crustless bread was used as an eraser in the past; a Meiji-era (1868-1912) Tokyo student said: “Bread erasers were used in place of rubber erasers, and so they would give them to us with no restriction on amount. So we thought nothing of taking these and eating a firm part to at least slightly satisfy our hunger.” ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraser#History )
F/4.5, 1/60, ISO 64.
Day 304 / 365
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Interesting Fact: The wearing of costumes at Halloween may come from the belief that supernatural beings, or the souls of the dead, roamed the earth at this time. The practice may have originated in a Celtic festival, held on 31 October–1 November, to mark the beginning of winter. It was called Samhain in Ireland, Scotland and the Isle of Man, and Calan Gaeaf in Wales, Cornwall and Brittany. The festival is believed to have pre-Christian roots. After the Christianization of Ireland in the 5th century, some of these customs may have been retained in the Christian observance of All Hallows’ Eve in that region—which continued to be called Samhain/Calan Gaeaf—blending the traditions of their ancestors with Christian ones.[2][3] It was seen as a liminal time, when the spirits or fairies (the Aos Sí), and the souls of the dead, could more easily come into our world.[4] It was believed that the Aos Sí needed to be propitiated to ensure that the people and their livestock survived the winter. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_costume )
Through Open Lens 