Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

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I Just Love The Way I Feel, Hmmm.

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Mute Swan

What do clouds do when they become rich?

They make it rain!

Interesting Fact: Mute Swans form long-lasting pair bonds. Their reputation for monogamy along with their elegant white plumage has helped establish them as a symbol of love in many cultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Swim At Your Own Risk

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Mute Swan

Why did the teacher jump into the water?

She wanted to test the water!

Interesting Fact: The black knob at the base of the male Mute Swan’s bill swells during the breeding season and becomes noticeably larger than the female’s. The rest of the year the difference between the sexes is not obvious.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Swan Lake Ballet ( On Ice )

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Mute Swan

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her

armpits.

Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, “Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me.”

The bartender replies, “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”

“Because,” answers the drunken man, “any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.”

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Let’s Get In Formation!

Mute Swan & Babies

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Mute Swan and Cygnets

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked…
“Then why did you eat him?”

Interesting Fact: Hans Christian Andersen’s fairly tale The Ugly Duckling chronicles the woes and triumphs of a young, Mute Swan that hatches in a clutch of duck eggs but goes on to become a beautiful swan. Some speculate that the book was based on Andersen’s own less-than-handsome looks as a youngster. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/mute_swan/lifehistory )

Double Vision

Swans

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Mute Swans

How do you keep a chicken in suspense?

I’ll tell you later.

Interesting Fact: Give plenty of space to nesting Mute Swans. They can be extremely aggressive and frequently attack canoeists, kayakers, and pedestrians who wander too close to a nest or chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Will You Be My Valentine?!

Mute Swan 1

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Mute Swan

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen

Interesting Fact: Mute Swans form long-lasting pair bonds. Their reputation for monogamy along with their elegant white plumage has helped establish them as a symbol of love in many cultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Bonus Valentine Facts:  Feb. 14 was officially designated St. Valentine’s Day in 1537 by King Henry VII of England. ( http://www.ibtimes.com/valentines-day-facts-history-fun-ideas-free-burritos-singles-awareness-other-things-1813226 )

Double Trouble!

Mute Swan

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Mute Swan 

Twin brothers were in a same class. The teacher asks them to write their father’s name. They wrote different names. The teacher was shocked and asked them why they wrote different names. Their reply, “Now you won’t say that we cheated”.

Interesting Fact: The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )