I Am Going Bananas. Thats What I Say To My Bananas Before I Leave The House.

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Eastern Bluebird

What did the penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds eat mostly insects, wild fruit and berries. Occasionally, Eastern Bluebirds have also been observed capturing and eating larger prey items such as shrews, salamanders, snakes, lizards and tree frogs.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird# )

Monday Blues

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Eastern Bluebird 

Where does Capitan Hook go shopping?

Second hand stores.

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds eat mostly insects, wild fruit and berries. Occasionally, Eastern Bluebirds have also been observed capturing and eating larger prey items such as shrews, salamanders, snakes, lizards and tree frogs. ( Eastern Bluebird Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

I Got Blue More Than You!

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Eastern Bluebird

In Court:

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Defendant: “Your Honour I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Defendant: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds occur across eastern North America and south as far as Nicaragua. Birds that live farther north and in the west of the range tend to lay more eggs than eastern and southern birds.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird )

Blue Me!

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Eastern Bluebird

Doctor is talking to a patient.

Doctor:  “Do you do sports?”

Patient:  “Does sex count?”

Doctor:  “Yes.”

Patient:  “Then no.”

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds typically have more than one successful brood per year. Young produced in early nests usually leave their parents in summer, but young from later nests frequently stay with their parents over the winter.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird/lifehistory )

Blow Me

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Dandelion ( Taraxacum )

What did the alien dandelion say to the earthly dandelion?

Take me to your weader!

Interesting Fact: Dandelions are thought to have evolved about 30 million years ago in Eurasia.[18]Fossil seeds of †Taraxacum tanaiticum have been recorded from the Pliocene of southern Russia.[19] Dandelions have been used by humans for food and as a herb for much of recorded history.[20] “They were well known to ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans, and have been used in Chinese traditional medicine for over a thousand years. Dandelions probably arrived in North America on the Mayflower – not as stowaways, but brought on purpose for their medicinal benefits,” according to the Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taraxacum#History )

Hee That Loves The Tree, Loves The Branch.

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Green Heron

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator

Interesting Fact: Like many herons, the Green Heron tends to wander outside of its breeding range after the nesting season is over. Most of the wanderers stay nearby as they search for good feeding habitat, but some travel long distances. Individuals have turned up as far away as England and France. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I Am Too Busy Working On My Own Grass To Notice If Yours Is Greener

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Muskrat

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying!

Interesting Fact: Muskrats provide an important food resource for many other animals, including minkfoxescoyoteswolveslynxbobcatsbearseaglessnakesalligators, and large owls and hawksOtterssnapping turtles, and large fish such as pike prey on baby muskrats. Caribou and elk sometimes feed on the vegetation which makes up muskrat push-ups during the winter when other food is scarce for them.[24] In their introduced range in the former Soviet Union, the muskrat’s greatest predator is the golden jackal. They can be completely eradicated in shallow water bodies, and during the winter of 1948–49 in the Amu Darya (river in central Asia), muskrats constituted 12.3% of jackal faeces contents, and 71% of muskrat houses were destroyed by jackals, 16% of which froze and became unsuitable for muskrat occupation. Jackals also harm the muskrat industry by eating muskrats caught in traps or taking skins left out to dry. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat#Behavior )

You Really CHANGED!

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Butterfly

What’s the secret to telling a good postman joke?

It’s all in the delivery

Interesting Fact: Butterflies feed primarily on nectar from flowers. Some also derive nourishment from pollen,[54] tree sap, rotting fruit, dung, decaying flesh, and dissolved minerals in wet sand or dirt. Butterflies are important as pollinators for some species of plants. In general, they do not carry as much pollen load as bees, but they are capable of moving pollen over greater distances.[55] Flower constancy has been observed for at least one species of butterfly. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

 

When Nothing Goes Right Just Go Fishing!

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Green Heron

What is the difference between a cat and a dog?

Dogs think, “Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods.”

Cats think, “Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God.”

Interesting Fact: The Green Heron is part of a complex of small herons that sometimes are considered one species. When lumped, they are called Green-backed Heron. When split, they are the Green Heron, the widespread Striated Heron, and the Galapagos Heron. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I Am Here For You!

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American Goldfinch

What can you serve but never eat?

A volleyball.

Interesting Fact: Paired-up goldfinches make virtually identical flight calls; goldfinches may be able to distinguish members of various pairs by these calls. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch )