I Am Too Busy Working On My Own Grass To Notice If Yours Is Greener

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Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying!

Interesting Fact: Muskrats provide an important food resource for many other animals, including minkfoxescoyoteswolveslynxbobcatsbearseaglessnakesalligators, and large owls and hawksOtterssnapping turtles, and large fish such as pike prey on baby muskrats. Caribou and elk sometimes feed on the vegetation which makes up muskrat push-ups during the winter when other food is scarce for them.[24] In their introduced range in the former Soviet Union, the muskrat’s greatest predator is the golden jackal. They can be completely eradicated in shallow water bodies, and during the winter of 1948–49 in the Amu Darya (river in central Asia), muskrats constituted 12.3% of jackal faeces contents, and 71% of muskrat houses were destroyed by jackals, 16% of which froze and became unsuitable for muskrat occupation. Jackals also harm the muskrat industry by eating muskrats caught in traps or taking skins left out to dry. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat#Behavior )

So Much On My Mind It’s A Wonder My Neck Doesn’t Snap.

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American Flamingo 

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

Interesting Fact: The American flamingo has adapted to its shallow-water environment in several ways. It has evolved long legs and large webbed feet to wade and stir up the bottom of the water bed to bring up their food source to then be retrieved. To feed, it has evolved a specialized beak which is hooked downward and features marginal lamellae on the upper mandible, and inner and outer lamellae on both the upper and lower mandibles. These are adapted for filtering out differently sized food from water.[16] Depending on the food source in their area, diets depend on the exact morphology of their beaks on what can and cannot be strained out of them. It submerges its head under water to retrieve its food, and may have its head under water for long times, which requires it to hold its breath. Factors which affect the habitat choice of American flamingos are environmental temperatures, water depth, food source, accessibility of an area, and the presence of vegetation beds in feeding areas. If available food items do not meet the needs of the flamingos or the temperature is not appropriate to their requirements, they move to a better feeding or more temperate area. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_flamingo )

What Am I Going To Do Today?

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Eastern Chipmunk

Why did the tiny ghost join the football team?

He heard they needed a little team spirit.

Interesting Fact: It has several bird-like or chattering calls; one is a trill at the rate of 130 vibrations per minute and another is a lower-pitched, clicking sound. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )

I Wonder If Chickens Do The “People Dance ” At Their Wedding

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What did the chicken say when it got to the library?

Book book book book book book book…

Interesting Fact: People have been raising chickens for more than 7,000 years. Chickens were first domesticated in Indian and China. You might think of chickens as farm animals, but even people in cities can raise a few chickens in the backyard. Chicken coops don’t take up much room. ( http://easyscienceforkids.com/all-about-chickens/ )

Ask Us About Our Hole?

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Eastern chipmunks

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck!

Interesting Fact: The eastern chipmunk defends its burrow and lives a solitary life, except during mating season. Females usually produce one or two litters of three to five young.[5] The two breeding seasons are from February to April and from June to August. During the winter, the chipmunk may enter long periods of torpor, but does not truly hibernate. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )


What? You Are Expecting A Prince Or Something?

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Northern Green Frog

Why are frogs so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them!

Interesting Fact: The northern green frog dwells in marshes, swamps, ponds, lakes, springs, and other aquatic environment. It is active both day and night. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_green_frog )

I Don’t Have A Drinking Problem, I Drink, I Get Drunk, I Pass Out, No Problem!

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American Flamingo 

Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

He wanted to tie the score

Interesting Fact: American flamingos are saltwater birds that ingest food with a high salt content and mostly drink salt water (with an osmolarity of usually 1000), hyperosmotic to the bodies cells . Also, though not commonly, they can drink fresh water at near-boiling temperatures from geysers. From their high-salt diet, they would lose more water and have a greater salt uptake. One way in which they osmoregulate is through the use of a salt gland, which is found in their beaks.[17] This salt gland helps excrete excess salt from the body through the nasal openings in the flamingo’s beaks. When these birds consume salt, the osmolarity increases in the blood plasma through the gut. This causes water to move out of the cells, increasing extracellular fluids. Both these changes, in turn, activate the salt glands of the bird,[18] but before any activity occurs in the salt glands, the kidney has to reabsorb the ingested sodium from the small intestine. As seen in other saltwater birds, the fluid that is excreted has been seen to have an osmolarity greater than that of the salt water, but this varies with salt consumption and body size. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_flamingo )

Everyday May Not Be Good, But There Is Something Good In Everyday.

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Why did the dog sit in the shade?

Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!

Interesting Fact: Native Americans have long considered the muskrat to be a very important animal. Some predict winter snowfall levels by observing the size and timing of muskrat lodge construction.[26]  In several Native American creation myths, the muskrat dives to the bottom of the primordial sea to bring up the mud from which the earth is created, after other animals have failed in the task. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat#Behavior )


Hey, these are my nuts!

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Eastern Chipmunk

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because it didn’t have the guts to fart.

Interesting Fact: A chipmunk’s cheeks can expand to three times the size of its head and they have pouches in their cheeks where they hold their food until they get back to store it in their burrows ( http://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/fun-interesting-facts-about-chipmunks.html )



I’m Feeling A Little Froggy!

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Southern Leopard Frog

Want to hear a dirty joke?

The white horse fell in the mud.

Interesting Fact: This frog lives in many types of shallow freshwater habitat and sometimes in slightly brackish water. It is usually found close to water but it can stay on dry land for long periods of time.[8] During warmer months it moves away from the water for most of the time.[10] It is mostly nocturnal,[10] but it can be active during the day and the night, especially during rainfall. It breeds in the winter and spring, and sometimes in the fall; heavy periods of rainfall trigger breeding.[8] The egg mass is connected to aquatic vegetation.[9] It typically nests communally in cooler weather, and individually in warmer weather.[11][12] Eggs hatch in 4 days to nearly two weeks.[10] The tadpoles take 50 to 75 days to develop to adulthood. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_leopard_frog )