Just Showing Off!

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 500.

Wild Turkeys ( Male )

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.

She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.”

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”

Interesting Fact: Wild Turkeys nest on the ground in dead leaves at the bases of trees, under brush piles or thick shrubbery, or occasionally in open hayfields. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

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Stop Knocking And Come In Its Snowing Out There

F/6.3, 1/60, 500.

Downy Woodpecker

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Interesting Fact: An active woodpecker that moves quickly over tree trunks, branches, and stems of grasses and wildflowers, characteristically leaning against its stiffened tail feathers for support. Downy Woodpeckers move horizontally and downwards on trees much more readily than most other woodpeckers. You may also see them perched atop tall weeds such as goldenrod in late summer, hammering away at a plant gall to get at the larva inside. Occasionally hops on the ground for food.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

 

Are You Tailing Me Because That Would Be Super!

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F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Northern Pintail was a male and at least 22 years, 3 months old when he was found in Saskatchewan, Canada. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

Away With You…. PHEASANT.

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F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 1100.

Ring-Necked Pheasant

A pheasant says to a bull, “I would love to get on top of that tree, but I haven’t the energy.”

“Well,” says the bull, “why don’t you eat some of my dung? It’s packed with nutrients.”

So the pheasant eats some dung and finds that it gives him enough energy to get to the first branch. The next day, he eats some more and gets to the next branch. This cycle continues for a week. Finally, the pheasant is at the top of the tree, where he is spotted by the farmer, who shoots him with a shotgun.

Moral of the Story: bullsh*t might take you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Interesting Fact: While the birds normally don’t cover more than about 600 feet at a time, strong winds can extend their flights considerably. Observers in 1941 reported seeing a pheasant fly a record four miles while crossing a body of water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Pheasant/lifehistory )

He Can Be A Real Pecker !

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F/ 6.3, 1/125, ISO 1100.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

An New York woodpecker and a Florida woodpecker were in New York arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The New Yorker

woodpecker said that they had a tree there that no woodpecker can peck.

The Florida woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The New Yorker woodpecker was in awe!

The Florida woodpeck then challenged the New Yorker woodpecker to come to Florida and try to peck this certain tree there that no woodpecker had

ever been able to peck successfully.

The NewYorker woodpecker said he was sure he would be able to do it. So, after flying down to Florida, he successfully pecked the tree!

The two woodpeckers then had a discussion about why they were each unable to peck those trees in their own states. After thinking about this problem

for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: “Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home…”

 

Interesting Fact: You may sometimes see Red-bellied Woodpeckers wedge large nuts into bark crevices, then whack them into manageable pieces using their beaks. They also use cracks in trees and fence posts to store food for later in the year, a habit it shares with other woodpeckers in its genus. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

 

 

What Drives You Nuts?!

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American Red Squirrel

Why do squirrels swim on there back?

To keep their nuts dry!

Interesting Fact: Red squirrels can be easily distinguished from other North American tree squirrels by their smaller size, 28–35 cm (11–14 in) total length (including tail), territorial behavior, and reddish fur with a white venter (underbelly).[6] Red squirrels are somewhat larger than chipmunks. The Douglas squirrel is morphologically similar to the American red squirrels, but has a rust-colored venter and is restricted to the southwestern coast of British Columbia and in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. These species’ ranges do not overlap.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_red_squirrel )

Quack Addict

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F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 220.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?

His Quackpack

Interesting Fact: The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

 

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

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F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

American Kestrel

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.

Interesting Fact:

Sports fans in some cities get an extra show during night games: kestrels perching on light standards or foul poles, tracking moths and other insects in the powerful stadium light beams and catching these snacks on the wing. Some of their hunting flights have even made it onto TV sports coverage.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel/lifehistory )

 

I Would Cry But Mascara Is Designer

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F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 360.

Green-Winged Teal

Men are like mascara, any sign of emotion and they’re running.

Interesting Fact: Green-winged Teals have closely spaced, comblike projections called lamellae around the inner edge of the bill. They use them to filter tiny invertebrates from the water, allowing the birds to capture smaller food items than other dabbling ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

Who Do I Crap ON Today?

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F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 800.

Golden-crowned Kinglet

Why are pirates so mean?

I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

Interesting Fact: The Golden-crowned Kinglet usually raises two large broods of young, despite the short nesting season of the northern boreal forest. The female feeds her first brood only up until the day after they leave the nest. She then starts laying the second set of eggs while the male takes care of the first brood. The male manages to feed eight or nine nestlings himself, and he occasionally feeds the incubating female too. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )