Find A Balance In Life

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American Coot

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

Interesting Fact: American Coots in the winter can be found in rafts of mixed waterfowl and in groups numbering up to several thousand individuals.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot/lifehistory )

 

 

It Seems To Me The Vultures Have Stopped Circling.

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Turkey Vultures

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. Often, especially in the morning, they can be seen standing erect, wings spread in the sun, presumably to warm up, cool off, or dry off. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

Be Your Self Everyone Else Is Already Taken!

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Hooded Merganser ( Male )

Did you hear that all the toilets at the police station were stolen?

Yeah… the cops got nothing to go on.

Interesting Fact: Hooded Merganser ducklings leave their nest cavity within 24 hours of hatching. First, their mother checks the area around the nest and calls to the nestlings from ground level. From inside the nest, the little fluffballs scramble up to the entrance hole and then flutter to the ground, which may be 50 feet or more below them. In some cases they have to walk half a mile or more with their mother to the nearest body of water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser )

Go Ahead… Make My Day!

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Hooded Merganser ( Female )

What insect runs away from everything?

A flea!

Interesting Fact: Once a female begins incubating eggs her mate abandons her, and it’s not known if they reunite the following season. Incubating females may use a broken-wing display to protect eggs or nestlings from raccoons, mink, black rat snakes, black bears, pine martens, European Starlings, Northern Flickers, Red-headed Woodpeckers, and Red-bellied Woodpeckers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

Dear Life, When I Said ” Can My Day Get Any Worst” It Was A Rhetorical Question Not A Challenge.

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White-Tailed Deer ( Fawn )

Which branch of the military do babies join?

The infantry!

Interesting Fact: White tailed deer can run as fast as 36 mph, jump as high as 8 1/2 feet, and leap as far as 30 feet. They are also very good swimmers. ( https://www.brighthub.com/environment/science-environmental/articles/48142.aspx )

 

 

If You Can’t Convince Them, Confuse Them.

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Brant

What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?

Slippers!

Interesting Fact: The Brant is also known as the Brent Goose. The spelling “Brant” is the original one, with “Brent” being a later folk-etymological idea that it was derived from a classical Greek water bird name brenthos. It actually came from the guttural call note of the species. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/290/overview/Brant.aspx )

 

 

In Three Words I Can Sum Up Everything I’ve Learned About Life. IT GOES ON.

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Canvesback

What do you call it when you have your Grandma on speed dial?

Instagram

Interesting Fact: Canvasbacks are social outside of the breeding season; they gather in large rafts by the thousands to tens of thousands. Only when winter food is scarce or clumped do they defend foraging areas against other Canvasbacks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

 

 

I See You Watching Me!

brown-thrasher

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Brown Thrasher

A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it.

At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and ate it

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into sh*t is your enemy

2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend

3. If you are in s#!t, keep your mouth shut

Interesting Fact: Brown Thrashers are accomplished songsters that may sing more than 1,100 different song types and include imitations of other birds, including Chuck-will’s-widows, Wood Thrushes, and Northern Flickers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Thrasher/lifehistory )

Will You Be My Valentine?!

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Mute Swan

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen

Interesting Fact: Mute Swans form long-lasting pair bonds. Their reputation for monogamy along with their elegant white plumage has helped establish them as a symbol of love in many cultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Bonus Valentine Facts:  Feb. 14 was officially designated St. Valentine’s Day in 1537 by King Henry VII of England. ( http://www.ibtimes.com/valentines-day-facts-history-fun-ideas-free-burritos-singles-awareness-other-things-1813226 )

Fly Above The Negativity!

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Great Blue Heron 

Why was Frosty told to leave the grocery store?

Because he was caught picking his nose in the produce isle.

Interesting Fact: Despite their impressive size, Great Blue Herons weigh only 5 to 6 pounds thanks in part to their hollow bones—a feature all birds share.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/overview )