paterson

When I’m Sad I Just Sing, And Then I Realize My Voice Is Worse Than My Problems.

January 12, 2024 — 27 Comments

white-tailed-deer-4

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

White-Tailed Deer

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay.

You have my Word.

Interesting Fact: White-tailed deer are herbivores, leisurely grazing on most available plant foods. Their stomachs allow them to digest a varied diet, including leaves, twigs, fruits and nuts, grass, corn, alfalfa, and even lichens and other fungi. Occasionally venturing out in the daylight hours, white-tailed deer are primarily nocturnal or crepuscular, browsing mainly at dawn and dusk. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/w/white-tailed-deer/ )

 

Cause I’m A Wanderer!

November 14, 2023 — 8 Comments

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400. 

White-breasted Nuthatch

What was the murderer’s last request to the priest as he sat in the electric chair?

Will you hold my hand?

Interesting Fact: White-breasted Nuthatches forage up, down, and sideways over tree trunks and around large branches. They often (though not always) start high in trees and move down them head first, pausing to crane their necks up and back, toward the horizontal, for a look around. They probe into bark crevices or chip away at wood to find food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-breasted_Nuthatch/lifehistory )

 

Are You Talking To Me?!

November 3, 2023 — 31 Comments

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F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 450.

Northern Cardinal

What did little Tom’s mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Northern Cardinal was a female, and was 15 years, 9 months old when she was found in Pennsylvania. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

I Am Going Green!

November 2, 2023 — 12 Comments

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

American Wigeon

A man takes his dog to the vet.

“My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?”

“Well,” said the vet, “let’s have a look at him” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.

Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”

“What? Because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No, because he’s really heavy”.

Interesting Fact: The American Wigeon is a rare, but regular straggler to Europe where it turns up in flocks of Eurasian Wigeon. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Wigeon/lifehistory ).

Sometimes They Come Back Again!

October 12, 2023 — 21 Comments

F/5.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

White-Tailed Deer

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter!

Interesting Fact: The fawn is also weaned by the time it loses its spots. By November the average whitetail male fawn will weigh close to 80 to 85 pounds, and the female fawn will weigh 75 to 80 pounds. As the spots disappear, the fawn’s coat also changes from its reddish color to a grayish winter coat. The buck fawn’s face grows a bit darker in color but the belly remains white. ( http://www.the-whitetail-deer.com/whitetail-deer-fawns.html )

 

Little Duckies Need Some Snackies

May 30, 2023 — 12 Comments

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 100.

Mallard Female with Ducklings

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Interesting Fact:  The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

 

Buck Off!

April 8, 2023 — 16 Comments

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 640.

White-Tailed Deer

I give a dead battery away today…

Free of charge!

Interesting Fact: Males regrow their antlers every year. About one in 10,000 females also has antlers, although this is usually associated with freemartinism. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_deer ) 

Where Does The Itch Goes After You Scratch It?

March 22, 2023 — 2 Comments

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F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canada Goose

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Some migratory populations of the Canada Goose are not going as far south in the winter as they used to. This northward range shift has been attributed to changes in farm practices that makes waste grain more available in fall and winter, as well as changes in hunting pressure and changes in weather. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

The Fog Always Lifts.

February 13, 2023 — 16 Comments

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 800.

Canada Goose

What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Interesting Fact: Nest Placement on the ground, usually on a muskrat mound or other slightly elevated site, near water. They prefer a spot from which they can have a fairly unobstructed view in many directions. Female selects the site and does much of nest construction. She adds down feathers and some body feathers beginning after the second egg is laid. She does all the incubation while her mate guards her and the nest.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Baby It’s Cold Outside!

December 26, 2022 — 8 Comments

F/8.0,1/250, ISO 400.

Northern Cardinal Male 

Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?

Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”

Interesting Fact: Look for Northern Cardinals in dense shrubby areas such as forest edges, overgrown fields, hedgerows, backyards, marshy thickets, mesquite, regrowing forest, and ornamental landscaping. Cardinals nest in dense foliage and look for conspicuous, fairly high perches for singing. Growth of towns and suburbs across eastern North America has helped the cardinal expand its range northward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )