Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

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Do You Have My Quack?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ruddy Duck

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?

He was a quackhead.

Interesting Fact:  The oldest Ruddy Duck on record was a male and at least 13 years, 7 months old. He was banded in British Columbia and 1951 and found in Oregon in 1964. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck )

Let’s Swim Away Together!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )

Drink Water Suprise Your Liver!!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy.

What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Interesting Fact:  Courting males swim before a female with wings and tail elevated, sometimes tilting the head backwards for a few seconds. Males may also perform ritualized drinking, preening, and shaking movements. Both members of a pair may preen each other. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory  )

Quack Like You Mean It!

F/14.0, 1/500, ISO 800.

Black Scoter

This guy went to school and he asked
“May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, ” no not unless you say your abc’s.”
The guy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
The teacher asked “Where’s the p?
He replied, ” running down my leg!”

Interesting Fact:  The Black Scoter occasionally does a “Wing-flap” display while swimming, flapping its wings with its body held up out of the water. Unlike other scoters, it almost always punctuates a Wing-flap with a characteristic downward thrust of head, as if its neck were momentarily broken. Surf and White-winged scoters keep their heads and bills pointing more or less above the horizontal throughout a Wing-flap.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

Keep Calm And Quack Quack!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 500.

Black Scoter

Mother: What did you learn in school today

Son: How to write.

Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!

Interesting Fact: The Black Scoter is divided into two subspecies. In the form found in Europe, the “Common Scoter,” the male has a larger swollen knob at the base of the upper bill that is black on the sides with a yellow stripe on top, not entirely yellow. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

 

 

Little Duckies Need Some Snackies

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 100.

Mallard Female with Ducklings

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Interesting Fact:  The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

 

At The Quack Of Dawn

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 250.

Wood Duck

What do you get when a duck bends over?

Buttquack

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks feed by dabbling or short, shallow dives. They are strong fliers and can reach speeds of 30 mph. Wood Ducks are not territorial, with the exception that a male may fight off other males that approach his mate too closely. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )