Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

I Know You Are Jealous Of My Beak

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Northern Shoveler ( Female ) 

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: Northern shovelers feed by dabbling for plant food, often by swinging its bill from side to side and using the bill to strain food from the water. They use their highly specialized bill (from which their name is derived) to forage for aquatic invertebrates – a carnivorous diet. Their wide-flat bill is equipped with well-developed lamellae – small, comb-like structures on the edge of the bill that act like sieves, allowing the birds to skim crustaceans and plankton from the water’s surface. This adaptation, more specialized in shovelers, gives them an advantage over other puddle ducks, with which they do not have to compete for food resources during most of the year. Thus, mud-bottomed marshes rich in invertebrate life are their habitat of choices. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_shoveler#Behavior )

Do You Think I Give A Quack!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: Natural cavities for nesting are scarce, and the Wood Duck readily uses nest boxes provided for it. If nest boxes are placed too close together, many females lay eggs in the nests of other females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck )

Swim Your Worries Away!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Northern Shoveler 

A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Shovelers don’t just occur in the Americas, they also breed across Europe and spend the winter throughout Europe, Africa, and India. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler )

Double Take!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

White-Cheeked Pintail

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water.

Interesting Fact: It is found in the CaribbeanSouth America, and the Galápagos Islands.[4] It occurs on waters with some salinity, such as brackish lakes, estuaries and mangrove swamps. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-cheeked_pintail )

A Wise Duck Once Told Me “QUACK” And He Meant It!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 125.

White-cheeked pintail

Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?

It improved DiVision!

Interesting Fact: White-cheeked Pintail: Large, heavily spotted dark and light brown duck with striking white cheek patches, blue bill with bright red base, buff pointed tail. Legs and feet are blue-gray. Feeds on aquatic plants, small invertebrates. Swift direct flight with strong rapid wing beats. AKA Bahama Duck. ( https://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1029/overview/White-cheeked_Pintail.aspx )

Drink Water Suprise Your Liver!!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy.

What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Interesting Fact:  Courting males swim before a female with wings and tail elevated, sometimes tilting the head backwards for a few seconds. Males may also perform ritualized drinking, preening, and shaking movements. Both members of a pair may preen each other. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory  )

Don’t Forget To Duck!

F/14.0, 1/800, ISO 640.

Northern Shoveler 

To whom do fish go to borrow money?

The loan shark!

Interesting Fact: They are fairly social ducks, occurring in groups with shovelers and other dabbling ducks, especially during the winter. During the breeding season, they are less tolerant of other shovelers encroaching on their territory. Defensive males often chase intruders on the water and in the air. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

 

 

I Chill Harder Than You Party!

F/ 6.3, 1/60, ISO 320.

Wood Duck

What are those things you blow on and make wishes?

Breathalyzers

Interesting Fact: They are strong fliers and can reach speeds of 30 mph. Wood Ducks are not territorial, with the exception that a male may fight off other males that approach his mate too closely.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Once You Stop Chasing The Wrong Things, The Right Ones Catch You.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

He buys two cases of Beer instead of one.

Interesting Fact: Wood ducks cavities are typically places where a branch has broken off and the tree’s heartwood has subsequently rotted. Woodpecker cavities are used less frequently. Wood Ducks cannot make their own cavities. The nest tree is normally situated near to or over water, though Wood Ducks will use cavities up to 1.2 miles from water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )