Duck You Sucker

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Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Hey Bro! Want To Have A Staring Contest?!

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Sandhill Crane

What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead and I’ll hang around.

Interesting Fact: The elegance of cranes has inspired people in cultures all over the world—including the great scientist, conservationist, and nature writer Aldo Leopold, who wrote of their “nobility, won in the march of aeons.”  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/ )

Do You Want To Be Part Of My Pack?

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Coyote

What do you say when you meet a talking Coyote?

Howl about that?

Interesting Fact: Coyotes are smaller than wolves and are sometimes called prairie wolves or brush wolves. They communicate with a distinctive call, which at night often develops into a raucous canine chorus. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/coyote/ )

I Know You Are Jealous Of My Beak

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Northern Shoveler ( Female ) 

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: Northern shovelers feed by dabbling for plant food, often by swinging its bill from side to side and using the bill to strain food from the water. They use their highly specialized bill (from which their name is derived) to forage for aquatic invertebrates – a carnivorous diet. Their wide-flat bill is equipped with well-developed lamellae – small, comb-like structures on the edge of the bill that act like sieves, allowing the birds to skim crustaceans and plankton from the water’s surface. This adaptation, more specialized in shovelers, gives them an advantage over other puddle ducks, with which they do not have to compete for food resources during most of the year. Thus, mud-bottomed marshes rich in invertebrate life are their habitat of choices. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_shoveler#Behavior )

When Nothing Goes Right… Go Left!

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Sandhill Cranes

How do you make fruit punch?

Give them boxing gloves.

Interesting Fact: Sandhill Cranes are known for their dancing skills. Courting cranes stretch their wings, pump their heads, bow, and leap into the air in a graceful and energetic dance. ( Sandhill Crane Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

A Good Mood Is Like A Balloon, One Little Prick Is All It Takes To Ruin It.

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Rio Rancho, New Mexico. 

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I’m not going to spread it!

Interesting Fact: The great majority of Rio Rancho was originally part of the Town of Alameda Grant, which was founded by Spanish settlers in 1710. By the early 20th century, much of the land grant had been sold to land investment companies. Amrep Corporation purchased 55,000 acres (22,000 ha) in 1961 and turned the land into a housing development called “Rio Rancho Estates”, with the first families moving in the early 1960s. Amrep contracted with Ezio Valentini, one of the original developers of Cape Coral, Florida, to design and implement a unique marketing plan to conduct land-sales, dinner-party program in northern states to open offices in 14 states. The population grew ten-fold between 1970 and 1980 and the City of Rio Rancho was incorporated in 1981. The opening of a large Intel Corporation plant in 1981 had a major economic impact on the city. ( Rio Rancho, New Mexico – Wikipedia )

 

 

You Want A Little Bit Of The Top?!

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Sandhill Crane

A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…

the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.

Interesting Fact:  Sandhill Crane chicks can leave the nest within 8 hours of hatching, and are even capable of swimming. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/overview )

I Am Origami Model

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Sandhill Crane

Why was the chicken afraid?

Because it was chicken.

Interesting Fact: Although some start breeding at two years of age, Sandhill Cranes may reach the age of seven before breeding. They mate for life—which can mean two decades or more—and stay with their mates year-round. Juveniles stick close by their parents for 9 or 10 months after hatching. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

Crane Operators

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Sandhill Crane

What bird can lift the most?

A crane.

Interesting Fact:  The Sandhill Crane’s call is a loud, rolling, trumpeting sound whose unique tone is a product of anatomy: Sandhill Cranes have long tracheas (windpipes) that coil into the sternum and help the sound develop a lower pitch and harmonics that add richness. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

Work Is Just A Daily Detour On My Way To Happy Hour!

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American Coot

What did the rug say to the floor?

Don’t move, I’ve got you covered.

Interesting Fact: Although it swims like a duck, the American Coot does not have webbed feet like a duck. Instead, each one of the coot’s long toes has broad lobes of skin that help it kick through the water. The broad lobes fold back each time the bird lifts its foot, so it doesn’t impede walking on dry land, though it supports the bird’s weight on mucky ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/american_coot )