Where Does The Itch Goes After You Scratch It?

canada-goose-itch

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Canada Goose

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Some migratory populations of the Canada Goose are not going as far south in the winter as they used to. This northward range shift has been attributed to changes in farm practices that makes waste grain more available in fall and winter, as well as changes in hunting pressure and changes in weather. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

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You Can Stop Driving Me Crazy,I Can Walk From Here!

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Snowy Egret

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

Interesting Fact: During the breeding season, adult Snowy Egrets develop long, wispy feathers on their backs, necks, and heads. In 1886 these plumes were valued at $32 per ounce, which was twice the price of gold at the time. Plume-hunting for the fashion industry killed many Snowy Egrets and other birds until reforms were passed in the early twentieth century. The recovery of shorebird populations through the work of concerned citizens was an early triumph and helped give birth to the conservation movement. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret )

I Woke Up Early There Was No Worm!

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Sandhill Crane

Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

Interesting Fact: The earliest Sandhill Crane fossil, estimated to be 2.5 million years old, was unearthed in the Macasphalt Shell Pit in Florida. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/ )

Wazzaap!

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Turkey Vulture ( Juvenile )

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Outside of the breeding season, Turkey Vultures form roosts of dozens to a hundred individuals. When Turkey Vultures court, pairs perform a “follow flight” display where one bird leads the other through twisting, turning, and flapping flights for a minute or so, repeated over periods as long as 3 hours. Migrating flocks can number in the thousands. At carcasses, several Turkey Vultures may gather but typically only one feeds at a time, chasing the others off and making them wait their turn. Despite their size, Turkey Vultures are often driven off by smaller Black Vultures, Crested Caracaras, Zone-tailed Hawks, and other species. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

Just Act Weird It Keeps The Creeps Away!

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Snowy Egret

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Interesting Fact: Adult Snowy Egrets have greenish-yellow feet for most of the year, but at the height of the breeding season their feet take on a much richer, orange-yellow hue. The bare skin on their face also changes color, from yellow to reddish. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret )

Every Sunset Is An Opportunity To Reset.

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San Francisco Sunset Brown Pelican

What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both probe Uranus and wipe out Klingons.

Interesting Fact:   As sunrise and sunset are calculated from the leading and trailing edges of the Sun, respectively, and not the center, the duration of a daytime is slightly longer than nighttime (by about 10 minutes, as seen from temperate latitudes). Further, because the light from the Sun is refracted as it passes through the Earth’s atmosphere, the Sun is still visible after it is geometrically below the horizon. Refraction also affects the apparent shape of the Sun when it is very close to the horizon. It makes things appear higher in the sky than they really are. Light from the bottom edge of the Sun’s disk is refracted more than light from the top, since refraction increases as the angle of elevation decreases. This raises the apparent position of the bottom edge more than the top, reducing the apparent height of the solar disk. Its width is unaltered, so the disk appears wider than it is high. (In reality, the Sun is almost exactly spherical.) The Sun also appears larger on the horizon, an optical illusion, similar to the moon illusion.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunset#Historically )

If You Have Someting Stupid To Say… Please Raise Your Hand… And Put It Firmly Over Your Mouth!

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Common Yellowthroat ( Female ) 

Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat what ever bugs them

Interesting Fact: The Common Yellowthroat was one of the first bird species to be catalogued from the New World, when a specimen , from Maryland was described by Linnaeus in 1766. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Yellowthroat )/

It Will Be A Good Day As Long As You Won’t Hit Or Bite Anyone!

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Common Yellowthroat

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

Interesting Fact: Each male normally has only one mate in his territory during a breeding season. However, a female’s mating calls often attract other males, and she may mate with them behind her mate’s back. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Yellowthroat/ )

We Get Frequent Flyer Points

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Brown Pelicans

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, and I’ll give these two a lift.

Interesting Fact: During a dive, the Brown Pelican tucks its head and rotates its body to the left. This maneuver is probably to cushion the trachea and esophagus—which are found on the right side of the neck—from the impact. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican )

Friday Is My Second Favorite F Word My First Is FOOD Definitely FOOD!

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Blue-gray Gnatcatcher

Where does a tree store their stuff?

In there Trunk!

Interesting Fact:  The Blue-gray Gnatcatcher’s grayish coloring and long tail, as well as the way it mixes snippets of other birds’ repertoires into its own high, nasal songs, have earned it the nickname “Little Mockingbird.” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Blue-gray_Gnatcatcher )