Let’s Swim Away Together!

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Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )

If Money Is Made Out Of Paper, Doesn’t That mean money Grows on Trees?

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Brown Creeper

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out!

Interesting Fact: Sometimes creepers build nests in unusual places, such as behind window shutters, in or under roofs, inside fenceposts, or inside concrete blocks. One brought up a family in a specially constructed box made of pieces of Douglas-fir bark. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper/lifehistory )

Work, Really? Agian? Didn’t I Just Do That Yesturday?!

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Sandhill Crane

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

Interesting Fact: Sandhill Cranes mate for life, choosing their partners based on dancing displays. Displaying birds stretch their wings, pump their heads, bow, and leap into the air.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

Don’t Be A Creep!

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Brown Creeper

Past, present and future walk into a bar.

It was tense!

Interesting Fact: The Brown Creeper spends most of its time spiraling up tree trunks in search of insects. It holds its short legs on either side of its body, with the long, curved claws hooking into the bark, and braces itself with its long, stiff tail. Both feet hop at the same time, making the bird’s head duck after each hop. Because of its specialized anatomy, the Brown Creeper rarely climbs downward: once high in a tree, it flies down to begin a new ascent at the base of a nearby tree. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper/lifehistory )

He Is On My Tail!

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Wood Duck

What do you call an old snowman?

Water!

Interesting Fact: Breeding pairs search for nest cavities during early morning. The male stands outside as the female enters and examines the site. They typically choose a tree more than 1 foot and often 2 feet in diameter, with a cavity anywhere from 2–60 feet high (higher sites seem to be preferred). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory

 

 

But I’m A Creep!

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Brown Creeper

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

Interesting Fact: Brown Creepers burn an estimated 4–10 calories (technically, kilocalories) per day, a tiny fraction of a human’s daily intake of about 2,000 kilocalories. By eating a single spider, a creeper gains enough energy to climb nearly 200 feet vertically. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper )

What Goes Up Must Come Down!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?

”Hi, Buster.”

Interesting Fact:  The convention has also become a major showcase of New Mexican culture and history and features numerous cultural exhibitions .The fiesta is one of Albuquerque’s largest tourist attractions and constitutes a major source of income for the city and local businesses. In 2015, the fiesta logged 955,703 visitors.[4] Typically, tourists and fiesta visitors take thousands of pictures of the balloons, so it is no surprise that for several years the fiesta was sponsored by Kodak and was given the title, the Kodak Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, though that title was usually only used in print ads and on official memorabilia. In 2018 the fiesta is being presented by Canon, a Japanese camera and imaging company.[5]  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#Local_impact )

Who Let Baloons Out!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air balloon business?

He couldn’t get it off the ground.

Interesting Fact: The success of the Fiesta depends in part on the cool Albuquerque morning temperatures in October and the Albuquerque box. The “box” is a set of predictable wind patterns that can be exploited to navigate the balloons. At low elevations the winds tend to be northerly (from the north), but at higher elevations they tend to be southerly. Balloonists use these winds to navigate in a vertical box: they ascend slightly from the launch park, move south, ascend further, move north, descend, and repeat the box or land back in the launch park or quite nearby. During events involving on-field targets, such as the “Key Grab” (where pilots attempt to grab prizes, including a set of keys to a new vehicle, from atop tall, flexible poles), it’s not uncommon to see the same balloon make 5 or 6 passes at the targets, simply by working the “Box” to keep returning to the field.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#Albuquerque_box )

When Pink Elephants Fly!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.

He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts: ”Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: ”Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

”You must work in Technical Support,” says the balloonist.

”I do,” replies the man. ”How did you know?”

”Well” says the balloonist, ”everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless.”

The man below says: ”You must be in management.”

”I am,” replies the balloonist, ”but how did you know?”

”Well”, says the man, ”you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re still in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

Interesting Fact:  The Balloon Fiesta grew each year for decades, and today is the largest balloon convention in the world. The number of registered balloons reached a peak of 1,019 in 2000, prompting the Balloon Fiesta Board to limit the number to 750 starting in 2001,[3] citing a desire for “quality over quantity”. The limit was changed to 600 in 2009 — citing recent growth in the city and a loss of landing zones. On any given day during the festival, up to 100,000 spectators may be on the launch field where they are provided the rare opportunity to observe inflation and take off procedures. Countless more people gather at landing sites all over the city to watch incoming balloons.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#History )

Lets Get Carried Away!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What did the balloon say to the doctor?

“I feel lightheaded!”

Interesting Fact: In 1975 Albuquerque was looking at hosting the World Championships again, but the event was scheduled for October. So the fiesta was moved to correspond with the championships. To maintain interest in Albuquerque’s bid to host the championships, a balloon rally was held in February of that year. Autumn being a far better flying time than February, the event has remained in early October to the present day.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#History )