Goodmooning!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 640.

Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )

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The Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Not Wasted Time!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: Though the Palm Warbler’s name might imply it is a tropical bird, it’s actually one of the northernmost breeding of all warblers (only the Blackpoll Warbler breeds farther north). They got their name from J. P. Gmelin who named them based on a specimen collected on Hispaniola, a Caribbean island with a lot of palm trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler )

We Are Online Now.

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Monk Parakeets

Where does a bee keep his stinger?

In his honey!

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets spend a lot of time preening each other. These long-lived birds form socially monogamous pairs, and courtship involves a pair preening each other and grasping each other by the beak while shaking their heads.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

I Can Freeze Time! What’s Your Superpower?

F/5.6, 1/800, ISO 320.

Anna’s Hummingbird ( Female )

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor.

What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

Interesting Fact: Hummingbirds have tiny legs and can neither hop nor walk, though they can sort of scoot sideways while perched.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird )

Don’t Be A Creep!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Brown Creeper

Past, present and future walk into a bar.

It was tense!

Interesting Fact: The Brown Creeper spends most of its time spiraling up tree trunks in search of insects. It holds its short legs on either side of its body, with the long, curved claws hooking into the bark, and braces itself with its long, stiff tail. Both feet hop at the same time, making the bird’s head duck after each hop. Because of its specialized anatomy, the Brown Creeper rarely climbs downward: once high in a tree, it flies down to begin a new ascent at the base of a nearby tree. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper/lifehistory )

Be The Light!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 200. 

Rose Island Lighthouse Foundation

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Interesting Fact: The Rose Island Light, built in 1870, is on Rose Island in Narragansett Bay in Newport, Rhode Island in the United States. It is preserved, maintained and operated by The Rose Island Lighthouse Foundation.

One of a group of New England lighthouses built to an award-winning design by Vermont architect Albert Dow,[3] Rose Island Light has sisters at Sabin Point, Pomham Rocks, and Colchester Reef. The lighthouse stands atop a bastion of Fort Hamilton, which was built in 1798-1800. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_Island_Light )

You Know What Guys I Am Getting Sick Of The V Formation!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 640.

Ruddy Duck

What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?

A box of quackers!

Interesting Fact: The Ruddy Duck has spiky tail feathers that are used in courtship displays. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/116/overview/Ruddy_Duck.aspx )

Away With You…. PHEASANT.

ring-necked-pheasant

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 1100.

Ring-Necked Pheasant

A pheasant says to a bull, “I would love to get on top of that tree, but I haven’t the energy.”

“Well,” says the bull, “why don’t you eat some of my dung? It’s packed with nutrients.”

So the pheasant eats some dung and finds that it gives him enough energy to get to the first branch. The next day, he eats some more and gets to the next branch. This cycle continues for a week. Finally, the pheasant is at the top of the tree, where he is spotted by the farmer, who shoots him with a shotgun.

Moral of the Story: bullsh*t might take you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Interesting Fact: While the birds normally don’t cover more than about 600 feet at a time, strong winds can extend their flights considerably. Observers in 1941 reported seeing a pheasant fly a record four miles while crossing a body of water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Pheasant/lifehistory )

I Am Very Saucy, You Can Call Me Duck Sauce.

ruddy-duck-2

F/10.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Ruddy Duck

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Interesting Fact: Pleistocene fossils of Ruddy Ducks, at least 11,000 years old, have been unearthed in Oregon, California, Virginia, Florida, and Illinois. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

 

Life Begins At Night.

F/22.0, 30.0, ISO 100.

Newport, RI

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Newport was founded in 1639 on Aquidneck Island, which was called Rhode Island at the time. Its eight founders and first officers were Nicholas Easton, William Coddington, John Clarke, John Coggeshall, William Brenton, Jeremy Clark, Thomas Hazard, and Henry Bull. Many of these people had been part of the settlement at Portsmouth, along with Anne Hutchinson and her followers. They separated within a year of that settlement, however, and Coddington and others began the settlement of Newport on the southern side of the island.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport,_Rhode_Island )