I’m Higher Than I Expected!

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Mount San Jacinto State Park ( Desert View Trail ) 

What kind of undies do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

Interesting Fact: The San Jacinto Mountains, like the neighboring San Bernardino Mountains, are a humid island above the surrounding desert and semi-desert. Annual precipitation ranges from about 15 inches at the western base (and only 6 inches on the eastern, desert base) to as much as 32 inches above 5,500 feet (the mountain town of Idyllwild averages 27 inches per year). The coastal (western) side of the range receives more precipitation than the eastern (desert) side. Most of the precipitation falls between November and March, with a secondary maximum associated with thunderstorms during the summer monsoon season between July and September. The precipitation totals are highly variable from year to year. Snow usually falls above 4,000 feet elevation in winter. Above 8,000 feet, snow sometimes persists until June. Near the crest, there are often a few patches of snow that may persist all year in shady spots. ( San Jacinto Mountains – Wikipedia )

I Can Walk On Water!

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Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Bring On The Night!

jersey-city-downtown-park

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Newport Green Park Downtown Jersey City

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of
the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, Pepsi, and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly, asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of this story: Even when the man is listening, he’s still gonna get it wrong.

Interesting Fact: Newport is a 600-acre (2.4 km2) master-planned, mixed-use community in Downtown Jersey City, New Jersey, United States, consisting of retail, residential, office, and entertainment facilities. The neighborhood is situated on the Hudson Waterfront opposite the Tribeca area of Lower Manhattan in New York City, on what had been the yards of Erie Railroad‘s Pavonia Terminal. Redevelopment of the neighborhood began in 1986 as a $10 billion project led by real-estate tycoon Samuel J. LeFrak and his firm The LeFrak Organization.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport,_Jersey_City )

 

 

Just Sit And Enjoy The View!

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Castello di Amorosa, Calistoga, CA 

Where does spaghetti go to dance?

The Meatball.

Interesting Fact: Castello di Amorosa is a castle and a winery located near Calistoga, California. First opening its doors to the public in April 2007, the castle is the project of 4th generation vintner, Dario Sattui, who also owns and operates the V. Sattui Winery named after his great-grandfather, Vittorio Sattui, who originally established a winery in San Francisco in 1885 after emigrating from Italy to California. ( Castello di Amorosa – Wikipedia )

Do You Even LIFT BRO?l

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Mount San Jacinto State Park 

What is a pretzel’s favorite dance?

The twist.

Interesting Facts: The Palm Springs Aerial Tramway in Palm Springs, California, is the largest rotating aerial tramway in the world. It was opened in September 1963 as a way of getting from the floor of the Coachella Valley to near the top of San Jacinto Peak and was constructed in rugged Chino Canyon. Before its construction, the only way to the top of the mountain was to hike hours from Idyllwild. The rotating cars were added in 2000. ( Palm Springs Aerial Tramway – Wikipedia)

A Good Mood Is Like A Balloon, One Little Prick Is All It Takes To Ruin It.

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Rio Rancho, New Mexico. 

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I’m not going to spread it!

Interesting Fact: The great majority of Rio Rancho was originally part of the Town of Alameda Grant, which was founded by Spanish settlers in 1710. By the early 20th century, much of the land grant had been sold to land investment companies. Amrep Corporation purchased 55,000 acres (22,000 ha) in 1961 and turned the land into a housing development called “Rio Rancho Estates”, with the first families moving in the early 1960s. Amrep contracted with Ezio Valentini, one of the original developers of Cape Coral, Florida, to design and implement a unique marketing plan to conduct land-sales, dinner-party program in northern states to open offices in 14 states. The population grew ten-fold between 1970 and 1980 and the City of Rio Rancho was incorporated in 1981. The opening of a large Intel Corporation plant in 1981 had a major economic impact on the city. ( Rio Rancho, New Mexico – Wikipedia )

 

 

Happy New Year! Here’s To Having A Fresh Start At Binge Eating, Boozing, And Slacking Off!

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What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?

That your parents started the new year with a BANG!

Interesting Fact: During the Middle Ages in Western Europe, while the Julian calendar was still in use, authorities moved New Year’s Day, depending upon locale, to one of several other days, including March 1, March 25, Easter, September 1, and December 25. Beginning in 1582, the adoptions of the Gregorian calendar has meant that many national or local dates in the Western World and beyond have changed to using one fixed date for New Year’s Day, January 1. ( New Year – Wikipedia )

When You Stop Beliving In Santa You Get Underwear

Merry Christmas And Happy Holidays To All

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Interesting Fact:  The first known electrically illuminated Christmas tree was the creation of Edward H. Johnson, an associate of inventor Thomas Edison. While he was vice president of the Edison Electric Light Company, a predecessor of today’s Con Edison electric utility, he had Christmas tree light bulbs especially made for him. He proudly displayed his Christmas tree, which was hand-wired with 80 red, white and blue electric incandescent light bulbs the size of walnuts, on December 22, 1882 at his home on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Local newspapers ignored the story, seeing it as a publicity stunt. However, it was published by a Detroit newspaper reporter, and Johnson has become widely regarded as the Father of Electric Christmas Tree Lights. By 1900, businesses started stringing up Christmas lights behind their windows.[14] Christmas lights were too expensive for the average person; as such, electric Christmas lights did not become the majority replacement for candles until 1930. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_lights#History )

Swan Lake Ballet ( On Ice )

mute-swan-on-ice

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Mute Swan

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her

armpits.

Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, “Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me.”

The bartender replies, “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”

“Because,” answers the drunken man, “any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.”

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

I Tried To Grab The Fog But I Mist.

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Hudson River Waterfront Walkway, Jersey City, NJ

What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?

My plop is bigger than your plop.

Interesting Fact:   Fog normally occurs at a relative humidity near 100%.[15] This occurs from either added moisture in the air, or falling ambient air temperature.[15] However, fog can form at lower humidities, and can sometimes fail to form with relative humidity at 100%. At 100% relative humidity, the air cannot hold additional moisture, thus, the air will become supersaturated if additional moisture is added. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fog )