Just Give Me The Lights!

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East River, Manhattan, Brooklyn Bridge.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider?

You spend too much time on the web.

Interesting Fact:  The area that is now Manhattan was long inhabited by the LenapeNative Americans. In 1524, Florentine explorer Giovanni da Verrazzano – sailing in service of King Francis I of France – became the first documented European to visit the area that would become New York City. He entered the tidal strait now known as The Narrows and named the land around Upper New York HarborNew Angoulême, in reference to the family name of King Francis I that was derived from Angoulême in France; he sailed far enough into the harbor to sight the Hudson River, which he referred to in his report to the French king as a “very big river”; and he named the Bay of Santa Margarita – what is now Upper New York Bay – after Marguerite de Navarre, the elder sister of the king. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattan )

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Life Begins At Night

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New York State Capitol

What do you call a man with no nose and no body?

Nobody nose.

Interesting Fact: Legislative sessions had been held at different buildings in different places before Albany was declared the State capital in 1797. From that time until 1811, the State Legislature met at the Old Albany City Hall. The first State Capitol was designed by Albany native Philip Hooker, started in 1804, inaugurated in 1812 and remained in use until 1879 when the current building was inaugurated.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_State_Capitol )

Build A Bridge And Get Over It!

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Golden Gate Bridge

Why did a boy build a bridge across the river?

So he could have shade when he swam across.

Interesting Fact: The Golden Gate Bridge is a suspension bridge spanning the Golden Gate, the one-mile-wide (1.6 km) strait connecting San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean. The structure links the American city of San Francisco, California – the northern tip of the San Francisco Peninsula – to Marin County, carrying both U.S. Route 101 and California State Route 1 across the strait. The bridge is one of the most internationally recognized symbols of San Francisco, California, and the United States. It has been declared one of the Wonders of the Modern World by the American Society of Civil Engineers. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gate_Bridge

My Pillow Just Slapped Me Upside The Head And Said What Are You Still Doing Up!

Griffith Observatory

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Griffith Observatory

California Week

How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

Sleep at night.

Interesting Fact: 3,015 acres (12.20 km2) of land surrounding the observatory was donated to the City of Los Angeles by Colonel Griffith J. Griffith on December 16, 1896.[1] In his will Griffith donated funds to build an observatory, exhibit hall, and planetarium on the donated land. Griffith’s objective was to make astronomy accessible by the public, as opposed to the prevailing idea that observatories should be located on remote mountaintops and restricted to scientists. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griffith_Observatory#History )

California Dreaming

Santa Monica Pier

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Santa Monica Pier  

California Week

What did the boat say to the pier?

What’s up, dock?

Interesting Fact: Santa Monica has had several piers over the years; however, the current Santa Monica Pier is actually two adjoining piers that long had separate owners. The long, narrow Municipal Pier opened September 9, 1909,[4] primarily to carry sewer pipes beyond the breakers,[5] and had no amenities. The short, wide adjoining Pleasure Pier to the south, a.k.a. Newcomb Pier, was built in 1916 by Charles I. D. Looff and his son Arthur, amusement park pioneers.[6] Attractions on the Pleasure Pier eventually included the Santa Monica Looff Hippodrome building (which now houses the current carousel and is listed on the National Register of Historic Places), the Blue Streak Racer wooden roller coaster (which was purchased from the defunct Wonderland amusement park in San Diego), the Whip, merry-go-rounds, Wurlitzer organs, and a funhouse. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Monica_Pier#History )

Let Me Lift Up Your Smile

crane

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Day 217 / 365

There were three workers; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide.
The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole.
This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn’t measure the poles while they were laying on the ground?
The worker replied, “we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long”.

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Crane#ixzz3rRDzfNPL

Interesting Fact: It is assumed that Roman engineers lifted these extraordinary weights by two measures. First, as suggested by Heron, a lifting tower was set up, whose four masts were arranged in the shape of a quadrangle with parallel sides, not unlike a siege tower, but with the column in the middle of the structure (Mechanica 3.5).[6] Second, a multitude of capstans were placed on the ground around the tower, for, although having a lower leverage ratio than treadwheels, capstans could be set up in higher numbers and run by more men (and, moreover, by draught animals).[7] This use of multiple capstans is also described by Ammianus Marcellinus (17.4.15) in connection with the lifting of the Lateranense obelisk in the Circus Maximus (ca. 357 AD). The maximum lifting capability of a single capstan can be established by the number of lewis iron holes bored into the monolith. In case of the Baalbek architrave blocks, which weigh between 55 and 60 tons, eight extant holes suggest an allowance of 7.5 ton per lewis iron, that is per capstan.[8] Lifting such heavy weights in a concerted action required a great amount of coordination between the work groups applying the force to the capstans. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crane_(machine)#History )

I Don’t Think Anyone Will Row Row Row That Boat Gently Down The Stream

Binghamton ferry

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Day 316 / 365

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the DOC!

Interesting Fact:

Binghamton was one of six identical screw-propelled double-ended ferryboats built by the Newport News Shipbuilding and Dry-dock Company at Newport News, Virginia in 1904-05 to designs by Gardner & Cox, naval architects. She was launched on February 20, 1905, with Miss Charlotte Emery, daughter of John M. Emery, the newly promoted superintendent of the Hoboken Ferry Company and Ferry Department of the DL&W, serving as her sponsor. Binghamton was completed a month later and left the Newport News yard on March 25 for the trip to Hoboken, New Jersey. She was placed in commission on April 3. Her Captain for the first crossing was Oren D. Relyea.

Her normal run was from the Hoboken Terminal to Barclay Street, a twelve-minute journey of approximately 1 and 3/4 miles, a trip made continuously nearly every day for more than sixty years (on occasion she substituted on the Hoboken – 23rd Street run). ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binghamton_(ferryboat) )

 

 

New York, Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of There’s Nothin’ You Can’t Do Now You’re In New York

Empire State Building

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Day 310 / 365

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State
Building when the first man turns to the other and says, “You know,
last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building,
by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building
are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into
the window.”

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the
bar.

The second guy says, “What are you a nut? There is no way that could
happen.” “No, it’s true,” said the first man, let me prove it to you.”
He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the
street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him
around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes
the elevator back up to the bar. He met the second man, who looked
quite astonished. “You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that
must have been a one time fluke.”

“No, I’ll prove it again,” says the first man as he jumps. Again just
as he is hurling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries
him around the building and into the window.

Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. “Well, what the
hey,” the second guy says, “it works, I’ll try it!” He jumps over the
balcony plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors
…and hits the sidewalk with a ‘splat.’ Back upstairs the Bartender
turns to the other drinker, saying “You know, Superman, sometimes you
can be a real jerk.”

Interesting Fact: On July 28, 1945, a B-25 bomber that was lost in fog slammed into Empire State Building north wall of the 78th and 79th floors. Fourteen people were killed (it was a Saturday, so many offices were empty). Elevator operator Betty Lou Oliver survived a plunge of 75 stories inside an elevator, the Guinness World Record for the longest survived elevator fall recorded. There was no important structural damage to the building, which opened for business on the following Monday. ( https://www.walksofnewyork.com/blog/empire-state-building-facts )

Dear Autumn, I Am Not Ready For What Comes Next

autumn night

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Day 307 / 365

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks: “What are you waiting for?”
The husband replies: “Autumn.”

Interesting Fact: As winter approaches, leaves make a coating for themselves which blocks their water source; in the absence of water, the leaves no longer produce chlorophyll (chlorophyll is what makes leaves green). ( http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/learning/learn-about-the-weather/how-weather-works/autumn-facts )

Eat Drink And Be Merry!!

diner

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Day 305 / 365

A man entered a diner restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?”

The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen.”

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, “Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?”

The waiter replied, “Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men’s room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to pull out my penis, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time.”

Wait a minute,” said the diner, “how do you get your penis back in your pants?”

“Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon.”

Interesting Fact: The first diner was created in 1872, by a man named Walter Scott. He decided to sell food out of a horse-pulled wagon to employees of the Providence Journal, in Providence, Rhode Island. Scott’s diner can be considered the first diner with “walk up” windows that were located on each side of the wagon. Commercial production of lunch wagons began in Worcester, Massachusetts, in 1887, by Thomas Buckley. Buckley was very successful and became known for his “White House Cafe” wagons. Charles Palmer received the first patent (1893) for the diner, which he billed as a “Night-Lunch Wagon.” He built his “fancy night cafes” and “night lunch wagons” in the Worcester area until 1901. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diner )