Better Days Are Coming. They Are Called: Saturday And Sunday!

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Common Eider ( Male ) 

How are hockey players like goldfish?

You tap on the glass to get their attention.

Interesting Facts: Common Eiders appear to be monogamous, though males will display to females other than their primary partner. Pairs sometimes reunite in consecutive seasons. During periods of calm weather in autumn, males begin to display, both singly and in groups, tossing their heads, stretching their necks, and flapping their wings while keeping up a soft cooing. Pairs often copulate during fall and winter, well outside of the nesting season. ( Common Eider Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

When You Stop Beliving In Santa You Get Underwear

Merry Christmas And Happy Holidays To All

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Interesting Fact:  The first known electrically illuminated Christmas tree was the creation of Edward H. Johnson, an associate of inventor Thomas Edison. While he was vice president of the Edison Electric Light Company, a predecessor of today’s Con Edison electric utility, he had Christmas tree light bulbs especially made for him. He proudly displayed his Christmas tree, which was hand-wired with 80 red, white and blue electric incandescent light bulbs the size of walnuts, on December 22, 1882 at his home on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Local newspapers ignored the story, seeing it as a publicity stunt. However, it was published by a Detroit newspaper reporter, and Johnson has become widely regarded as the Father of Electric Christmas Tree Lights. By 1900, businesses started stringing up Christmas lights behind their windows.[14] Christmas lights were too expensive for the average person; as such, electric Christmas lights did not become the majority replacement for candles until 1930. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_lights#History )

People That Take Advice From Duck Are Downright Loony

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What computer sings the best?

A Dell.

Interesting Fact: Loons are agile swimmers, but they move pretty fast in the air, too. Migrating loons have been clocked flying at speeds more than 70 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

Eat Pasta Swim Fasta!

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Black Scoter Duck

Want to hear a construction joke?

Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Interesting Fact: The lined nest is built on the ground close to the sea, lakes or rivers, in woodland or tundra. 5–7 eggs are laid. Each eggs weighs from 60–74 g (2.1–2.6 oz), or 8% of the females body weight. The incubation period may range from 27 to 31 days. Females brood their young extensively for about 3 weeks, after which the still flightless young must fend for themselves. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_scoter )

Be Like A Duck. Remain Calm On The Surface And Paddle Like Hell Underneath.

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Black Scoter

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet.

Interesting Facts: This species dives for crustaceans and molluscs while migrating or wintering on the sea-coasts, and feeds on insects and their larvae, especially caddisflies, fish eggs and, more rarely, vegetation such as duck weed while nesting on freshwater. It forms large flocks on suitable coastal waters in winter quarters. These are tightly packed, and the birds tend to take off together; in the breeding season they are less social. It has been suggested that in coastal waters this species prefers sheltered embayments, and possibly waters that include some mixed depths. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_scoter )

 

 

I Have A Date Tonight, With My Bed. We Are Totally Gonna Sleep Together.

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Common Eider ( Female ) 

Where do vegetables go to get drunk?

The Salad Bar.

Interesting Fact: Eiders are colonial breeders. They nest on coastal islands in colonies ranging in size of less than 100 to upwards of 10,000-15,000 individuals.[13] Female eiders frequently exhibit a high degree of natal philopatry, where they return to breed on the same island where they were hatched. This can lead to a high degree of relatedness between individuals nesting on the same island, as well as the development of kin-based female social structures.[14] This relatedness has likely played a role in the evolution of co-operative breeding behaviours amongst eiders. Examples of these behaviours include laying eggs in the nests of related individuals[15] and crèching, where female eiders team up and share the work of rearing ducklings. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_eider )

 

Don’t Be Jealous Of My Beak.

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Common Loon 

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying!

Interesting Fact: A hungry loon family can put away a lot of fish. Biologists estimate that loon parents and their 2 chicks can eat about a half-ton of fish over a 15-week period.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon )

Why The Long Face?

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Common Eider 

What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

You look a bit flushed.

Interesting Facts: This species dives for crustaceans and molluscs, with mussels being a favoured food. The eider will eat mussels by swallowing them whole; the shells are then crushed in their gizzard and excreted. When eating a crab, the eider will remove all of its claws and legs, and then eat the body in a similar fashion. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_eider )

I Feel Loonly.

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What did the chicken say when it got to the library?

“Book book book book book book book…”

Interesting Fact: Migrating Common Loons occasionally land on wet highways or parking lots, mistaking them for rivers and lakes. They become stranded without a considerable amount of open water for a long takeoff. A loon may also get stranded on a pond that is too small. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/ )

I Don’t Have To Take This… I’m Going Home.

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Black Scoter

Why did the tiny ghost join the football team?

He heard they needed a little team spirit.

Interesting Fact: A coastal duck that breeds in the subarctic, the Black Scoter is not well studied in North America. Only a few nests have ever been found. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter )