Flying Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 280.

Hooded Merganser ( Male ) 

A police officer stops a Bob’s car.

Police Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Bob: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Bob: “No, to do it.”

Interesting Fact:They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )  

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I’m So Fly!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

A camel meets an elephant.

The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?”

The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers are the most owl-like of hawks (though they’re not related to owls). They rely on hearing as well as vision to capture prey. The disk-shaped face looks and functions much like an owl’s, with stiff facial feathers helping to direct sound to the ears. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier

OWL Get You!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Short Eared Owl

When does a Owl go “mooooo”?

When it is learning a new language!

Interesting Fact: As suggested by their wide global distribution, Short-eared Owls can travel long distances over vast expanses of ocean. Witnesses have reported seeing these owls descending on ships hundreds of miles from land.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/short-eared_owl/lifehistory )

Do Not Swallow!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Barn Swallow

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: According to legend, the Barn Swallow got its forked tail because it stole fire from the gods to bring to people. An angry deity hurled a firebrand at the swallow, singeing away its middle tail feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Don’t Make Me Walk When I Want To Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Red-tailed Hawk

How do trees access the internet?

They log in.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks occupy just about every type of open habitat on the continent. This includes desert, scrublands, grasslands, roadsides, fields and pastures, parks, broken woodland, and (in Mexico) tropical rainforest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Basic Maneuvers!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO  320.

Laughing Gull

Why is a river rich?

It has banks on both sides.

Interesting Fact:  The adult Laughing Gull removes the eggshells from the nest after the eggs hatch. If the shells are not removed, a piece can become lodged on top of the slightly smaller unhatched third egg and prevent it from hatching. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Laughing_Gull/lifehistory )

Flying High, High, I’m The Bird In The Sky!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Osprey

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Dam!

Interesting Fact: Ospreys are unusual among hawks in possessing a reversible outer toe that allows them to grasp with two toes in front and two behind. Barbed pads on the soles of the birds’ feet help them grip slippery fish. When flying with prey, an Osprey lines up its catch head first for less wind resistance.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )

You Never Leave Your Wingman!

F/ 9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Brown Pelicans 

Why does Piglet smell so bad?

Because he plays with Pooh.

Interesting Fact: Pelicans usually feed above estuaries and shallow ocean waters within 12 miles of shore, but sometimes venture over the deeper waters past the narrow continental shelf of the Pacific coast. They occasionally feed by sitting on the surface and seizing prey with their bills, like other pelican species, usually when a dense school of fish is close to the surface and the water is too shallow and muddy to plunge. They also steal food from other seabirds, scavenge dead animals, and eat invertebrates such as prawns. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican/lifehistory )