Don’t Stick Your Beak Where It Doesn’t Belong!

F/6.3, 1/6, ISO 100.

Great Blue Heron

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons generally move away from the northern edge of their breeding range in winter, with some flying as far south as the Caribbean. Populations in the Pacific Northwest and south Florida are present year-round.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/maps-range )

 

 

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Peek A Boo, I See You!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Patient: “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places”

Doctor: “Well don’t go to those places.”

Interesting Fact: Each breeding season, Green Herons pair up with one mate apiece, performing courtship displays that include stretching their necks, snapping their bills, flying with exaggerated flaps, and calling loudly. They often nest solitarily, although they may join colonies with other Green Herons or with other species. They defend breeding areas from each other and from birds like crows and grackles that prey on their nests. Other predators include snakes and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Sometimes Sitting Still Is The Best Move You Can Make.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 160.

Prairie Falcon

What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor?

A knight light.

Interesting Fact: Prairie Falcons are among the species of birds that seem to play—they’ve been seen dropping dried cow manure in midair and then diving to catch it. Like young ball players flipping a baseball to themselves, this may be a way to sharpen their coordination skills. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Prairie_Falcon/overview )

Cliffhanger!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

So he could tie the score.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Green Heron on record was at least 7 years, 11 months old when it was found in Mexico in 1979. It had been banded in Oklahoma in 1971. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron )

Simon Says, Pause!

F/5.3, 1/160, IOS 800.

Great Blue Heron 

What do you call when Batman skips out on church?

Christian Bale.

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons have specialized feathers on their chest that continually grow and fray. The herons comb this “powder down” with a fringed claw on their middle toes, using the down like a washcloth to remove fish slime and other oils from their feathers as they preen. Applying the powder to their underparts protects their feathers against the slime and oils of swamps. ( Great Blue Heron Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

 

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

You See Me Rollin!

F/7.1, 1/200. ISO 125.

Great Egret

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Fish Tremble When They Hear My Name!

F/8.0, 1/200, ISO 160.

Green Heron

When do zombies go to sleep?

When they are dead tired.

Interesting Fact:  Green Herons eat mainly small fish such as minnows, sunfish, catfish, pickerel, carp, perch, gobies, shad, silverside, eels, and goldfish. They also feeds on insects, spiders, crustaceans, snails, amphibians, reptiles, and rodents. They hunt by standing still at the water’s edge, in vegetation, or by walking slowly in shallow water. When a fish approaches, the heron lunges and darts its head, grasping (or sometimes spearing) the fish with its heavy bill. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )