Look Into My Eyes And Jump Into My Mouth… Fish!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

At the BP station!

Interesting Fact: Both the male and female brood and feed the chicks, which may stay with their parents for more than a month after leaving the nest, as they learn to forage. Green Herons protect their feeding areas by driving away other species, such as American Coots, that approach too closely. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

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I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

You Give Me The Chills!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes,why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory

You See Me Rollin!

F/7.1, 1/200. ISO 125.

Great Egret

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Peek A Boo, I See You!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Patient: “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places”

Doctor: “Well don’t go to those places.”

Interesting Fact: Each breeding season, Green Herons pair up with one mate apiece, performing courtship displays that include stretching their necks, snapping their bills, flying with exaggerated flaps, and calling loudly. They often nest solitarily, although they may join colonies with other Green Herons or with other species. They defend breeding areas from each other and from birds like crows and grackles that prey on their nests. Other predators include snakes and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Shh… I’m Hiding From Negative People.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

Interesting Fact: Occasionally Green Herons hunt in deeper water by plunging on prey from above. They hunt at all times of the day and night in the shallows of swamps, creeks, marshes, ditches, ponds, and mangroves. They usually forage among thick vegetation in water that is less than 4 inches deep, avoiding the deeper and more open areas frequented by longer-legged herons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Cliffhanger!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

So he could tie the score.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Green Heron on record was at least 7 years, 11 months old when it was found in Mexico in 1979. It had been banded in Oklahoma in 1971. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron )

Fish Tremble When They Hear My Name!

F/8.0, 1/200, ISO 160.

Green Heron

When do zombies go to sleep?

When they are dead tired.

Interesting Fact:  Green Herons eat mainly small fish such as minnows, sunfish, catfish, pickerel, carp, perch, gobies, shad, silverside, eels, and goldfish. They also feeds on insects, spiders, crustaceans, snails, amphibians, reptiles, and rodents. They hunt by standing still at the water’s edge, in vegetation, or by walking slowly in shallow water. When a fish approaches, the heron lunges and darts its head, grasping (or sometimes spearing) the fish with its heavy bill. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )