What Does The Fox Say?

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Red Fox

What do you call a fox with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Interesting Fact: Red foxes are solitary hunters who feed on rodents, rabbits, birds, and other small game—but their diet can be as flexible as their home habitat. Foxes will eat fruit and vegetables, fish, frogs, and even worms. If living among humans, foxes will opportunistically dine on garbage and pet food. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

Don’t You Think We Should Go Wireless?!

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Barn Swallow

Husband and Wife are having a conversation.

Wife: How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.

Interesting Fact: The Barn Swallow is the most abundant and widely distributed swallow species in the world. It breeds throughout the Northern Hemisphere and winters in much of the Southern Hemisphere. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

 

 

This Is My Good Side

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Northern Flicker

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Because all the fans have left.

Interesting Fact: The Northern Flicker is one of the few North American woodpeckers that is strongly migratory. Flickers in the northern parts of their range move south for the winter, although a few individuals often stay rather far north. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

 

 

I’m On A Seafood Diet. I See Food, I Eat It.

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Red-tailed Hawk

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Mammals make up the bulk of most Red-tailed Hawk meals. Frequent victims include voles, mice, wood rats, rabbits, snowshoe hares, jackrabbits, and ground squirrels. The hawks also eat birds, including pheasants, bobwhite, starlings, and blackbirds; as well as snakes and carrion. Individual prey items can weigh anywhere from less than an ounce to more than 5 pounds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory  )

I Had A Very Unhappy Egghood…

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Brown-headed Cowbird

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I’m changing.

Interesting Fact: Cowbird eggs hatch faster than other species eggs, giving cowbird nestlings a head start in getting food from the parents. Young cowbirds also develop at a faster pace than their nest mates, and they sometimes toss out eggs and young nestlings or smother them in the bottom of the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown-headed_Cowbird/lifehistory )

 

 

 

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

I Claim This Branch!

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Eastern Phoebe 

Why can’t you take a nap during a race?

Because if you snooze, you loose!

Interesting Fact: The Eastern Phoebe is a loner, rarely coming in contact with other phoebes. Even members of a mated pair do not spend much time together. They may roost together early in pair formation, but even during egg laying the female frequently chases the male away from her. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Phoebe/lifehistory )

Staring Contest, GO!

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Ruby-crowned Kinglet

What did the candle say to the other candle?

I’m going out tonight.

Interesting Fact: Metabolic studies on Ruby-crowned Kinglets suggest that these tiny birds use only about 10 calories (technically, kilocalories) per day. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Holy Smokes Batman Your Zipper Is Down!

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American Robin

What happens when Batman and Robin fight a steamroller?

They become Flatman and Ribbon.

Interesting Fact: Although robins are considered harbingers of spring, many American Robins spend the whole winter in their breeding range. But because they spend more time roosting in trees and less time in your yard, you’re much less likely to see them. The number of robins present in the northern parts of the range varies each year with the local conditions. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Robin/lifehistory )