I Wonder If Earth Makes Fun Of Other Planets For Having No Life.

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American Coot

Why was the broom late?

It over swept!

Interesting Fact: The ecological impact of common animals, like this ubiquitous waterbird, can be impressive when you add it all up. One estimate from Back Bay, Virginia, suggested that the local coot population ate 216 tons (in dry weight) of vegetation per winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot )

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Beep, Beep!

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Greater Roadrunner

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Roadrunners have evolved a range of adaptations to deal with the extremes of desert living. Like seabirds, they secrete a solution of highly concentrated salt through a gland just in front of each eye, which uses less water than excreting it via their kidneys and urinary tract. Moisture-rich prey including mammals and reptiles supply them otherwise-scarce water in their diet. Both chicks and adults flutter the unfeathered area beneath the chin (gular fluttering) to dissipate heat. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Roadrunner/overview

But I’m A Creep!

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Brown Creeper

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

Interesting Fact: Brown Creepers burn an estimated 4–10 calories (technically, kilocalories) per day, a tiny fraction of a human’s daily intake of about 2,000 kilocalories. By eating a single spider, a creeper gains enough energy to climb nearly 200 feet vertically. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper )

I Woke Up Early There Was No Worm!

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Sandhill Crane

Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

Interesting Fact: The earliest Sandhill Crane fossil, estimated to be 2.5 million years old, was unearthed in the Macasphalt Shell Pit in Florida. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/ )

Work Is Just A Daily Detour On My Way To Happy Hour!

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American Coot

What did the rug say to the floor?

Don’t move, I’ve got you covered.

Interesting Fact: Although it swims like a duck, the American Coot does not have webbed feet like a duck. Instead, each one of the coot’s long toes has broad lobes of skin that help it kick through the water. The broad lobes fold back each time the bird lifts its foot, so it doesn’t impede walking on dry land, though it supports the bird’s weight on mucky ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/american_coot )

Keep Calm And Hop On!

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Desert Cottontail Rabbit

What do rabbits say before they eat?

Lettuce pray.

Interesting Fact: Due to the variable temperature of living conditions, desert cottontails must be adequate thermoregulators to minimize water loss during the hotter seasons and require shaded areas of their environment to conduct evaporative water loss through thermal heat transfer. In open-desert areas, they can withstand for a short period with extremely high temperatures of around 45 °C and have a large evaporative water loss capacity of around 1.5% body mass/hour, though cottontails can withstand longer in an ideal environment with shaded areas. To cope with evaporative heat loss, they do panting and undergo changes in production of their basal metabolic rate in relation to the ambient temperature of the environment. Ears of desert cottontails make up 14% of their body size and may help with thermoregulation. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_cottontail )

Do You Think I Give A Quack!

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Wood Duck

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: Natural cavities for nesting are scarce, and the Wood Duck readily uses nest boxes provided for it. If nest boxes are placed too close together, many females lay eggs in the nests of other females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck )

Do You Want To Be Part Of My Pack?

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Coyote

What do you say when you meet a talking Coyote?

Howl about that?

Interesting Fact: Coyotes are smaller than wolves and are sometimes called prairie wolves or brush wolves. They communicate with a distinctive call, which at night often develops into a raucous canine chorus. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/coyote/ )

Hey Bro! Want To Have A Staring Contest?!

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Sandhill Crane

What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead and I’ll hang around.

Interesting Fact: The elegance of cranes has inspired people in cultures all over the world—including the great scientist, conservationist, and nature writer Aldo Leopold, who wrote of their “nobility, won in the march of aeons.”  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/ )

Duck You Sucker

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Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )