PhotoBomb!

F/13.0, 1/400, ISO 500.

Black Scoter 

Why did the belt go to jail?

Because it held up a pair of pants!

Interesting Fact:  The Black Scoter is among the most vocal of waterfowl. Groups of Black Scoters often can be located by the constant mellow, plaintive whistling sound of the males.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter )

Advertisements

Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Do You Have My Quack?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ruddy Duck

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?

He was a quackhead.

Interesting Fact:  The oldest Ruddy Duck on record was a male and at least 13 years, 7 months old. He was banded in British Columbia and 1951 and found in Oregon in 1964. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck )

Eat My Bubbles!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Tom and Bobby are talking:

Bobby: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Tom: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Bobby: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Interesting Fact: Its breedinghabitat is freshwater lakes and rivers across northern North America, Greenland, Europe, and Asia. It nests in sheltered locations on the ground near water. It is migratory and many northern breeders winter in coastalwaters further south. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

Don’t You Flap Your Wings At Me!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Hooded Merganser

In School

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Bob, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Bob: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Interesting Fact:  The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

50 Shades Of Red In My Eyes

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback 

What type of book has only characters and no story?

A telephone book.

Interesting Fact: A large diving duck, the Canvasback breeds in prairie potholes and winters on ocean bays. Its sloping profile distinguishes it from other ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/id )

Beware Of The Quacks!

F/9.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Ring-necked Ducks

Two friends are talking:

Bobby: Where will you be in two years?

Tommy: I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.

Interesting Fact: On migration, Ring-necked Ducks stop to rest and feed on shallow lakes and impoundments with dense stands of cattails, bulrushes, and other emergent vegetation. They can form very large flocks on some lakes. During the winter, look for them in swamps, river floodplains, brackish portions of estuaries, shallow inland lakes, sloughs, marshes, reservoirs, and other managed freshwater impoundments. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory#habitat  )

Let’s Swim Away Together!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )

I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.

common-merganser-1

F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )