I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/overview )

A Good Joke Always Quacks Me Up!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Bufflehead Duck ( Female )

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.

Interesting Fact: They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. At the end of a dive, they may bob to the surface like a cork. Throughout the day they alternate between bouts of feeding, swimming alertly, preening, and sleeping. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

Snow Way!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Northern Cardinal ( Male )

In the class room

Bobby: ” Can I go the toilet? ” 

Teacher: ” Say the alphabet ”

Bobby: ” ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ “

Teacher: “Where’s the P “

Bobby: ” Half way down my leg “

Interesting Fact: Northern Cardinals hop through low branches and forage on or near the ground. Cardinals commonly sing and preen from a high branch of a shrub. The distinctive crest can be raised and pointed when agitated or lowered and barely visible while resting. You typically see cardinals moving around in pairs during the breeding season, but in fall and winter they can form fairly large flocks of a dozen to several dozen birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory#behavior )

I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.

common-merganser-1

F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Sorry. Yesterday Was The Deadline For All Complaints.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Northern Cardinal ( Female )

What do you give an elephant that’s going to be sick?

Plenty of space!

Interesting Fact: Males sometimes bring nest material to the female, who does most of the building. She crushes twigs with her beak until they’re pliable, then turns in the nest to bend the twigs around her body and push them into a cup shape with her feet. The cup has four layers: coarse twigs (and sometimes bits of trash) covered in a leafy mat, then lined with grapevine bark and finally grasses, stems, rootlets, and pine needles. The nest typically takes 3 to 9 days to build; the finished product is 2-3 inches tall, 4 inches across, with an inner diameter of about 3 inches. Cardinals usually don’t use their nests more than once. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

I Dont Give A DUCK!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

What Was That?

F/13.0, 1/500, ISO 800.

Northern Cardinal ( Female )

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: A week or two before the female starts building, she starts to visit possible nest sites with the male following along. The pair call back and forth and hold nesting material in their bills as they assess each site. Nests tend to be wedged into a fork of small branches in a sapling, shrub, or vine tangle, 1-15 feet high and hidden in dense foliage. They use many kinds of trees and shrubs, including dogwood, honeysuckle, hawthorn, grape, redcedar, spruce, pines, hemlock, rose bushes, blackberry brambles, elms, sugar maples, and box elders. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

We Are All Winging it!

F/5.6, 1/2000, ISO 320.

Anna’s Hummingbird ( Female )

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

Interesting Fact: Hummingbirds are strictly a New World animal. They fascinated the first Europeans who arrived on the continent. Christopher Columbus wrote about them and many wondered if they were a cross between a bird and an insect (at one point being called “flybirds”). Later, their feathers became fashionable ornaments in Europe (a practice that has thankfully fallen out of favor). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird/overview )

When Someone Yells STOP I Don’t Know Whether It’s In The Name Of Love, It’s Hammer Time, Or I Should Smell The Flowers.

F/5.3, 1/800, ISO 320.

Anna’s Hummingbird ( Female )

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo

Interesting Fact: Anna’s Hummingbirds normally have a body temperature of around 107 degrees Fahrenheit—that’s a scorching temperature for a human. When outside temperatures fall, Anna’s and many other species of hummingbirds enter torpor. Their breathing and heart rate slow, and their body temperature can fall as low as 48 degrees Fahrenheit. When the temperature warms, the hummingbirds can become active again in a few minutes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird/ )

 

 

Don’t Be Such A Turkey!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 500.

Wild Turkeys

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because it wanted to get to the bottom.

Interesting Fact: Wild Turkeys nest on the ground in dead leaves at the bases of trees, under brush piles or thick shrubbery, or occasionally in open hayfields. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )