Don’t Stick Your Nose Where It Doesn’t Belong

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Northern Pintail Duck

Father and son are talking over dinner in a nice restaurant.  A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”

“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Pintails migrate at night at speeds around 48 miles per hour. The longest nonstop flight recorded for a Northern Pintail was 1,800 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/

Snow Way!

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Northern Cardinal ( Male )

In the class room

Bobby: ” Can I go the toilet? ” 

Teacher: ” Say the alphabet ”

Bobby: ” ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ “

Teacher: “Where’s the P “

Bobby: ” Half way down my leg “

Interesting Fact: Northern Cardinals hop through low branches and forage on or near the ground. Cardinals commonly sing and preen from a high branch of a shrub. The distinctive crest can be raised and pointed when agitated or lowered and barely visible while resting. You typically see cardinals moving around in pairs during the breeding season, but in fall and winter they can form fairly large flocks of a dozen to several dozen birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory#behavior )

How low can you go?

northern-shoveler-2

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Northern Shoveler 

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: The bill of the Northern Shoveler is about 6.5 cm (2.5 inches) long. The bill has has about 110 fine projections (called lamellae) along the edges, for straining food from water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

Sorry. Yesterday Was The Deadline For All Complaints.

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Northern Cardinal ( Female )

What do you give an elephant that’s going to be sick?

Plenty of space!

Interesting Fact: Males sometimes bring nest material to the female, who does most of the building. She crushes twigs with her beak until they’re pliable, then turns in the nest to bend the twigs around her body and push them into a cup shape with her feet. The cup has four layers: coarse twigs (and sometimes bits of trash) covered in a leafy mat, then lined with grapevine bark and finally grasses, stems, rootlets, and pine needles. The nest typically takes 3 to 9 days to build; the finished product is 2-3 inches tall, 4 inches across, with an inner diameter of about 3 inches. Cardinals usually don’t use their nests more than once. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

I’m So Fly!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

A camel meets an elephant.

The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?”

The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers are the most owl-like of hawks (though they’re not related to owls). They rely on hearing as well as vision to capture prey. The disk-shaped face looks and functions much like an owl’s, with stiff facial feathers helping to direct sound to the ears. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier

What Was That?

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Northern Cardinal ( Female )

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: A week or two before the female starts building, she starts to visit possible nest sites with the male following along. The pair call back and forth and hold nesting material in their bills as they assess each site. Nests tend to be wedged into a fork of small branches in a sapling, shrub, or vine tangle, 1-15 feet high and hidden in dense foliage. They use many kinds of trees and shrubs, including dogwood, honeysuckle, hawthorn, grape, redcedar, spruce, pines, hemlock, rose bushes, blackberry brambles, elms, sugar maples, and box elders. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Swim Your Worries Away!

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Northern Shoveler 

A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Shovelers don’t just occur in the Americas, they also breed across Europe and spend the winter throughout Europe, Africa, and India. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler )

I Only Have Crazy Eyes For You!

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Northern Mockingbird 

Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?

They’re afraid of flying off the handle!

Interesting Fact:  The Northern Mockingbird frequently gives a “wing flash” display, where it half or fully opens its wings in jerky intermediate steps, showing off the big white patches. No one knows why it does this, but it may startle insects, making them easier to catch. On the other hand, it doesn’t often seem to be successful, and different mockingbird species do this same display even though they don’t have white wing patches.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Mockingbird/lifehistory )

When In Doubt Wear Red!

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Northern Cardinal 

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts !

Interesting Fact: Only a few female North American songbirds sing, but the female Northern Cardinal does, and often while sitting on the nest. This may give the male information about when to bring food to the nest. A mated pair shares song phrases, but the female may sing a longer and slightly more complex song than the male. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Finding A Needle In The Haystack

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Northern Harrier

Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers usually fly slowly and low over the ground, their wings held in a V-shape as they glide. Most males have either one mate or two mates at a time, but some have up to five mates when food is abundant. Each male courts females and advertises his territory by performing sky-dancing displays: undulating, rollercoaster-like flights up to 1,000 feet off the ground, sometimes covering more than half a mile. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier/lifehistory )