Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

ring-billed-gulls

F/5.6, 1/320, ISO 400.

Ring-billed Gull             

What do you call a man with seagull on his head?

Cliff

Interesting Fact: Migrating Ring-billed Gulls apparently use a built-in compass to navigate. When tested at only two days of age, chicks showed a preference for magnetic bearings that would take them in the appropriate direction for their fall migration. The gulls also rely on landmarks and high-altitude winds to provide directional cues.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Advertisements

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

I Belong In The Air

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 1250

Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

You Big Silly Goose!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Brant Goose

How do baseball players stay cool?

They sit next to their fans.

Interesting Fact: An abundant small goose of the ocean shores, the Brant breeds in the high Arctic tundra and winters along both coasts. The Brant along the Atlantic have light gray bellies, while those off the Pacific Coast have black bellies and were at one time considered a separate species.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brant/lifehistory )

Don’t You Flap Your Wings At Me!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Hooded Merganser

In School

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Bob, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Bob: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Interesting Fact:  The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

Together We Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

I’m So Fly!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

A camel meets an elephant.

The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?”

The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers are the most owl-like of hawks (though they’re not related to owls). They rely on hearing as well as vision to capture prey. The disk-shaped face looks and functions much like an owl’s, with stiff facial feathers helping to direct sound to the ears. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier ) 

I Can Walk On Water!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Fly Eagles Fly!!!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320, CS6.

Bald Eagles ( Juveniles )

Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?

I don’t know?

Because he needed a quarter back.

Interesting Fact: Sometimes even the national bird has to cut loose. Bald Eagles have been known to play with plastic bottles and other objects pressed into service as toys. One observer witnessed six Bald Eagles passing sticks to each other in midair. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory ) 

I Patrol The Sky And I Am Super High!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Peregrine Falcon

A Jen caught her husband Bob on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

Jen: “That won’t help you, Bob, you know?”

Bob: “Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

Interesting Fact: People have trained falcons for hunting for over a thousand years, and the Peregrine Falcon was always one of the most prized birds. Efforts to breed the Peregrine in captivity and reestablish populations depleted during the DDT years were greatly assisted by the existence of methods of handling captive falcons developed by falconers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )