Now That’s What I Call Spread Eagle!

bald-eagle-juvenile

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Bald Eagle ( Juvenile )

What does the eagle say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?

“Let us prey.”

Interesting Fact: The largest Bald Eagle nest on record, in St. Petersburg, Florida, was 2.9 meters in diameter and 6.1 meters tall. Another famous nest—in Vermilion, Ohio—was shaped like a wine glass and weighed almost two metric tons. It was used for 34 years until the tree blew down. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

Well I’m going down, down, down, down, down, down.

mallard-landing

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Mallard  

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

Interesting Fact:  The Mallard is the ancestor of nearly all domestic duck breeds (everything except the Muscovy Duck). Domestic ducks can be common in city ponds and can be confusing to identify—they may lack the white neck ring, show white on the chest, be all dark, or show oddly shaped crests on the head. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Should I Get A Tatoo Of A Human on My Back?

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Butterfly

What do Butterfly learn at school?

Mothmatics !

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are often polymorphic, and many species make use of camouflage, mimicry and aposematism to evade their predators. Some, like the monarch and the painted lady, migrate over long distances. Many butterflies are attacked by parasites or parasitoids, including wasps, protozoans, flies, and other invertebrates, or are preyed upon by other organisms. Some species are pests because in their larval stages they can damage domestic crops or trees; other species are agents of pollination of some plants. Larvae of a few butterflies (e.g., harvesters) eat harmful insects, and a few are predators of ants, while others live as mutualists in association with ants. Culturally, butterflies are a popular motif in the visual and literary arts. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

When Fears Are Grounded Dreams Take Flight

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Ruby-throated Hummingbird

Where do you learn how to make ice cream?

Sundae School

Interesting Fact: The Ruby-throated Hummingbird beats its wings about 53 times a second. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-throated_Hummingbird  )

Let Me Give You The Skinney

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Dragonfly

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?

An animal that talks your head off.

Interesting Fact: Old and unreliable claims are made that dragonflies such as the southern giant darner can fly up to 60 miles per hour (97 km/h).[50] However, the greatest reliable flight speed records are for other types of insects.[51] In general, large dragonflies like the hawkers have a maximum speed of 10–15 metres per second (22–34 mph) with average cruising speed of about 4.5 metres per second (10 mph).[52] Dragonflies can fly at 100 body-lengths per second, and three lengths per second backwards. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly#Flight )

I Can See Your Butt Quack!

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Northern Pintail 

Why are celebrities so cool?

They have a lot of fans.

Interesting Fact: Northern Pintails migrate at night at speeds around 48 miles per hour. The longest nonstop flight recorded for a Northern Pintail was 1,800 miles. ( Northern Pintail Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

I Belong In The Air

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Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

Flap Your Wings Like You Mean It.

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Bufflehead Duck ( Male )

What do you call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact: To dive, Bufflehead compress their plumage to squeeze out air, then give a slight forward leap and plunge powerfully downward. They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

I Can Walk On Water!

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Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Like I Give A Duck!

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Ruddy Duck 

Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honey-combs.

Interesting Fact: Though Ruddy Ducks are native to the Americas, one population became established in England after captive ducks escaped in 1952. This population grew to about 3,500 individuals by 1992, and now appears to be expanding into the Netherlands, France, Belgium, and Spain. ( Ruddy Duck Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )