When Butterflies Fall In Love, Do They Feel Humans In Their Stomach?

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Butterfly

What did the grape say when it was stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are insects in the macrolepidopteranclade Rhopalocera from the orderLepidoptera, which also includes moths. Adult butterflies have large, often brightly coloured wings, and conspicuous, fluttering flight. The group comprises the large superfamilyPapilionoidea, which contains at least one former group, the skippers (formerly the superfamily “Hesperioidea”) and the most recent analyses suggest it also contains the moth-butterflies (formerly the superfamily “Hedyloidea”). Butterfly fossils date to the Paleocene, which was about 56 million years ago.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

Pit Stop

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Butterfly

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

“That was a honey bee,” his father said,”one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week.”

Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
“That was a butterfly,” his father said, “one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week.”

The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
his plain toast (no honey and butter.)

Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, “Are you going to tell her or
should I?

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are insects in the clade Rhopalocera from the order Lepidoptera, which also includes moths. Adult butterflies have large, often brightly coloured wings, and conspicuous, fluttering flight. The group comprises the large superfamily Papilionoidea, along with two smaller groups, the skippers (superfamily Hesperioidea) and the moth-butterflies (superfamily Hedyloidea). Butterfly fossils date to the Palaeocene, about 56 million years ago. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

 

 

Do We Have A Problem Here!

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American Black Duck

What says “Quick, Quick”?

A duck with the hiccups.

Interesting Fact: If a mother is killed or separated from her brood, another Black Duck with ducklings of her own, regardless of their age, will quickly adopt the orphans. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/392/_/American_Black_Duck.aspx )

You Really CHANGED!

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Butterfly

What’s the secret to telling a good postman joke?

It’s all in the delivery

Interesting Fact: Butterflies feed primarily on nectar from flowers. Some also derive nourishment from pollen,[54] tree sap, rotting fruit, dung, decaying flesh, and dissolved minerals in wet sand or dirt. Butterflies are important as pollinators for some species of plants. In general, they do not carry as much pollen load as bees, but they are capable of moving pollen over greater distances.[55] Flower constancy has been observed for at least one species of butterfly. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

 

I Don’t Need Therapy, I Need A Hug!

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Double-crested Cormorant

Tom had asked Fred to help him out with the deck after work, so Fred went straight over to Tom’s place. When they got to the door, Tom went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work.
When it was time for dinner, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Fred told Tom that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Tom said that he’d started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn’t be better.
Fred thought he’d give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Fred was confused and asked why she was crying.
She said, “This is the worst day of my life. First, little Bobby fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!”

Interesting Fact: The double-crest of the Double-crested Cormorant is only visible on adults during breeding season. The crests are white in cormorants from Alaska, and black in other regions.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Just Checking If Gravity Still Works.

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Great Egret

What did the inventor of the door knocker win?

The no bell prize.

Interesting Fact:  The male builds a nest platform from long sticks and twigs before pairing up with a female, and then both members of the pair may collaborate to complete the nest, though the male sometimes finishes it himself. The nest is up to 3 feet across and 1 foot deep. It is lined with pliable plant material that dries to form a cup structure. They don’t typically reuse nests from year to year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Finding A Needle In The Haystack

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Northern Harrier

Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers usually fly slowly and low over the ground, their wings held in a V-shape as they glide. Most males have either one mate or two mates at a time, but some have up to five mates when food is abundant. Each male courts females and advertises his territory by performing sky-dancing displays: undulating, rollercoaster-like flights up to 1,000 feet off the ground, sometimes covering more than half a mile. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier/lifehistory )

 

 

DON’T PANIC!

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Canada Goose 

A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.

The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”

The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”

Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Fly Above The Negativity!

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Great Blue Heron 

Why was Frosty told to leave the grocery store?

Because he was caught picking his nose in the produce isle.

Interesting Fact: Despite their impressive size, Great Blue Herons weigh only 5 to 6 pounds thanks in part to their hollow bones—a feature all birds share.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/overview )

 

That’s Despicable!

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Canada Goose 

How do we know that insects are so clever?

Because they always know when your eating outside!

Interesting Fact: They mate for life with very low “divorce rates,” and pairs remain together throughout the year. Geese mate “assortatively,” larger birds choosing larger mates and smaller ones choosing smaller mates; in a given pair, the male is usually larger than the female. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )