I Can Walk On Water!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Like I Give A Duck!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Ruddy Duck 

Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honey-combs.

Interesting Fact: Though Ruddy Ducks are native to the Americas, one population became established in England after captive ducks escaped in 1952. This population grew to about 3,500 individuals by 1992, and now appears to be expanding into the Netherlands, France, Belgium, and Spain. ( Ruddy Duck Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Together We Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

I’m So Fly!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

A camel meets an elephant.

The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?”

The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers are the most owl-like of hawks (though they’re not related to owls). They rely on hearing as well as vision to capture prey. The disk-shaped face looks and functions much like an owl’s, with stiff facial feathers helping to direct sound to the ears. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier

Social Butterfly!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 160.

Butterfly

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies in their adult stage can live from a week to nearly a year depending on the species. Many species have long larval life stages while others can remain dormant in their pupal or egg stages and thereby survive winters.[30] The Melissa Arctic (Oeneis melissa) overwinters twice as a caterpillar.[31] Butterflies may have one or more broods per year. The number of generations per year varies from temperate to tropical regions with tropical regions showing a trend towards multivoltinism. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly#Biology )

When Butterflies Fall In Love, Do They Feel Humans In Their Stomach?

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 320.

Butterfly

What did the grape say when it was stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are insects in the macrolepidopteranclade Rhopalocera from the orderLepidoptera, which also includes moths. Adult butterflies have large, often brightly coloured wings, and conspicuous, fluttering flight. The group comprises the large superfamilyPapilionoidea, which contains at least one former group, the skippers (formerly the superfamily “Hesperioidea”) and the most recent analyses suggest it also contains the moth-butterflies (formerly the superfamily “Hedyloidea”). Butterfly fossils date to the Paleocene, which was about 56 million years ago.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

Pit Stop

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Butterfly

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

“That was a honey bee,” his father said,”one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week.”

Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
“That was a butterfly,” his father said, “one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week.”

The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
his plain toast (no honey and butter.)

Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, “Are you going to tell her or
should I?

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are insects in the clade Rhopalocera from the order Lepidoptera, which also includes moths. Adult butterflies have large, often brightly coloured wings, and conspicuous, fluttering flight. The group comprises the large superfamily Papilionoidea, along with two smaller groups, the skippers (superfamily Hesperioidea) and the moth-butterflies (superfamily Hedyloidea). Butterfly fossils date to the Palaeocene, about 56 million years ago. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

 

 

Do We Have A Problem Here!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO800.

American Black Duck

What says “Quick, Quick”?

A duck with the hiccups.

Interesting Fact: If a mother is killed or separated from her brood, another Black Duck with ducklings of her own, regardless of their age, will quickly adopt the orphans. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/392/_/American_Black_Duck.aspx )

You Really CHANGED!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Butterfly

What’s the secret to telling a good postman joke?

It’s all in the delivery

Interesting Fact: Butterflies feed primarily on nectar from flowers. Some also derive nourishment from pollen,[54] tree sap, rotting fruit, dung, decaying flesh, and dissolved minerals in wet sand or dirt. Butterflies are important as pollinators for some species of plants. In general, they do not carry as much pollen load as bees, but they are capable of moving pollen over greater distances.[55] Flower constancy has been observed for at least one species of butterfly. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )