teacher joke

My Life Is So Much More Interesting Inside My Head

March 27, 2023 — 22 Comments

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Ruby-crowned Kinglet

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets breed across far northern North America as well as the western mountains. Most migrate to the southern and southwestern United States and Mexico for the winter—but some mountain populations in the West simply move to lower elevations during the cold months. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/maps-range )

I’m Over Here!

February 1, 2023 — 18 Comments

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Double-crested Cormorant

Teacher called on a student in the classroom:

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”.

Student: Today and Tomorrow

Interesting Fact: Double-crested Cormorant nests often are exposed to direct sun. Adults shade the chicks and also bring them water, pouring it from their mouths into those of the chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Swim At Your Own Risk

December 15, 2022 — 17 Comments

mute-swan-swimming

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Mute Swan

Why did the teacher jump into the water?

She wanted to test the water!

Interesting Fact: The black knob at the base of the male Mute Swan’s bill swells during the breeding season and becomes noticeably larger than the female’s. The rest of the year the difference between the sexes is not obvious.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Who Dyed Your Hair!

March 15, 2022 — 18 Comments

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Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

March 13, 2022 — 14 Comments

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Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Rain Makes Everything Wet

March 9, 2022 — 19 Comments

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Red-breasted Merganser

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Interesting Fact: The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser )

Different Osprey In The Sky!

May 31, 2021 — 4 Comments

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Bell Boeing V-22 Osprey

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Interesting Fact:  The Osprey is the world’s first production tiltrotor aircraft, with one three-bladed proprotor, turboprop engine, and transmission nacelle mounted on each wingtip.[98] It is classified as a powered lift aircraft by the Federal Aviation Administration.[99] For takeoff and landing, it typically operates as a helicopter with the nacelles vertical and rotors horizontal. Once airborne, the nacelles rotate forward 90° in as little as 12 seconds for horizontal flight, converting the V-22 to a more fuel-efficient, higher speed turboprop aircraft. STOL rolling-takeoff and landing capability is achieved by having the nacelles tilted forward up to 45°.[100][101] Other orientations are possible.[102] It has a ferry range of over 2,100 nmi. Its operational range is 1,100 nmi. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Boeing_V-22_Osprey#U.S._Marine_Corps )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

March 4, 2021 — 15 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

Yes, How Can I Help You?

May 30, 2020 — 8 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets seem nervous as they flit through the foliage, flicking their wings nearly constantly. Keeping an eye out for this habit can be a useful aid to identifying kinglets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised.

March 12, 2020 — 10 Comments

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American Goldfinch

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it.

Little Tommy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.”

Interesting Fact: Goldfinches move south in winter following a pattern that seems to coincide with regions where the minimum January temperature is no colder than 0 degrees Fahrenheit on average. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch )