student joke

My Life Is So Much More Interesting Inside My Head

March 27, 2023 — 22 Comments

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets breed across far northern North America as well as the western mountains. Most migrate to the southern and southwestern United States and Mexico for the winter—but some mountain populations in the West simply move to lower elevations during the cold months. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/maps-range )

I’m Over Here!

February 1, 2023 — 18 Comments

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Double-crested Cormorant

Teacher called on a student in the classroom:

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”.

Student: Today and Tomorrow

Interesting Fact: Double-crested Cormorant nests often are exposed to direct sun. Adults shade the chicks and also bring them water, pouring it from their mouths into those of the chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Who Dyed Your Hair!

March 15, 2022 — 18 Comments

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

March 13, 2022 — 14 Comments

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Rain Makes Everything Wet

March 9, 2022 — 19 Comments

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

Red-breasted Merganser

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Interesting Fact: The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

March 4, 2021 — 15 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

Double Take!

May 15, 2020 — 2 Comments

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

White-Cheeked Pintail

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water.

Interesting Fact: It is found in the Caribbean, South America, and the Galápagos Islands.[4] It occurs on waters with some salinity, such as brackish lakes, estuaries and mangrove swamps. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-cheeked_pintail )

A Wise Duck Once Told Me “QUACK” And He Meant It!

March 31, 2020 — 10 Comments

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 125.

White-cheeked pintail

Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?

It improved DiVision!

Interesting Fact: White-cheeked Pintail: Large, heavily spotted dark and light brown duck with striking white cheek patches, blue bill with bright red base, buff pointed tail. Legs and feet are blue-gray. Feeds on aquatic plants, small invertebrates. Swift direct flight with strong rapid wing beats. AKA Bahama Duck. ( https://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1029/overview/White-cheeked_Pintail.aspx )

In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised.

March 12, 2020 — 10 Comments

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 640.

American Goldfinch

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it.

Little Tommy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.”

Interesting Fact: Goldfinches move south in winter following a pattern that seems to coincide with regions where the minimum January temperature is no colder than 0 degrees Fahrenheit on average. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch )

 

 

 

I Spread My Wings And I Fly!

December 29, 2019 — 23 Comments

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 640.

Great Blue Heron 

Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?

It improved DiVision !

Interesting Fact:  In flight the Great Blue Heron folds it neck into an “S” shape and trails its long legs behind, dangling them as it prepares to land or when courting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )