Do Whatever Floats Your Boat… As Long As It Doesn’t Sink Mine.

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion

A man walks into a bar where the only other occupant is a seal.
he orders a beer and hears the seal say “I like your tie.” confused the man ignores the seal.
But every few minutes the seal calls out another complement.
When the bartender comes the man asks “what’s with the mammal?”
to that the bartender replies “oh that is our seal of approval”

Interesting Fact: California sea lions may hunt continuously for up to 30 hours, with each dive lasting three to five minutes. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/california-sea-lion/ )

Someone Called Me Lazy Today, I Almost Replied.

california-sea-lions

F/9.0, 1/125, ISO 100.

California Sea Lions

Why do seals swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Interesting Fact: These pinnipeds live along the rocky Pacific Ocean coastlines of western North America. Huge colonies can be seen gathered on seaside rocks, and even on man-made structures, for breeding and for birthing. Males gather harems of females to their sides in competition to sire young pups, which are born on land. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )

 

 

Nooo, Go Away You Are Bothering Me!

Tree Swallow

F/5,6, 1/400, ISO 125.

Tree Swallow

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

Interesting Fact: The Tree Swallow—which is most often seen in open, treeless areas—gets its name from its habit of nesting in tree cavities. They also take readily to nest boxes.  ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/tree_swallow/lifehistory )

Sometimes I Get Road Rage From Standing In Lines.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 125.

Semipalmated Sandpipers

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated Sandpiper: Breeds in lower Arctic regions from western Alaska to Labrador. Migrates through central North America to the Atlantic coast to reach its wintering grounds, which extend from the extreme southern U.S. to the Caribbean Islands and South America. Preferred habitats include shorelines and mudflats. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/427/overview/Semipalmated_Sandpiper.aspx )

 

I Enjoy Long Romantic Walks On The Beach

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron 

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons forage, usually alone, across much of the U.S. This largest of the North American herons wades slowly or stands stock still, peering into the water for prey. In flight the Great Blue Heron folds it neck into an “S” shape and trails its long legs behind, dangling them as it prepares to land or when courting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

 

 

I May Look Like I’m Having Deep Thoughts, But Really I Need To Fart.

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Semipalmated Sandpiper

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Interesting Fact:  Semipalmated Sandpipers from eastern populations probably undertake nonstop transoceanic flights of 3,000 – 4,000 km (1,900 – 2,500 mi) from New England and southern Canada to South America, powered by extensive fat reserves. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

Grow Old With Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Red-breasted Merganser was a female, and at least 9 years, 6 months old when she was shot in Alaska, the same state where she had been banded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

Emo Ducks

red-breasted-mergansers

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers

Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach?

Yes. It’s better to swim in water.

Interesting Fact: The Red-breasted Merganser breeds farther north and winters farther south than the other American mergansers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

Swim At Your Own Risk

mute-swan-swimming

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 320.

Mute Swan

Why did the teacher jump into the water?

She wanted to test the water!

Interesting Fact: The black knob at the base of the male Mute Swan’s bill swells during the breeding season and becomes noticeably larger than the female’s. The rest of the year the difference between the sexes is not obvious.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )