What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
Interesting Fact: Gravel rooftops attract Killdeer for nesting, but can be dangerous places to raise a brood. Chicks may be unable to leave a roof because of high parapets and screened drain openings. Adults eventually lure chicks off the roof, which can be dangerous – although one set of chicks survived a leap from a seven-story building. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Killdeer )
Guy: “Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.”
Waiter: “And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!”
Interesting Fact: The breeding habitat of the canvasback is in North Americaprairie potholes. The bulky nest is built from vegetation in a marsh and lined with down. Loss of nesting habitat has caused populations to decline. The canvasback usually takes a new mate each year, pairing in late winter on ocean bays. It prefers to nest over water on permanent prairie marshes surrounded by emergent vegetation, such as cattails and bulrushes, which provide protective cover. Other important breeding areas are the subarctic river deltas in Saskatchewan and the interior of Alaska. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvasback )
Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?
They’re both below C level!
Interesting Fact: Gadwall have increased in numbers since the 1980s, partly because of conservation of wetlands and adjacent uplands in their breeding habitat through the Conservation Reserve Program and the North American Waterfowl Management Plan. Their habit of nesting on islands within marshes gives them some protection from predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gadwall/lifehistory )
For five years, two sharks and a dolphin have worked side by side every day as window washers, and every night after work they stopped for a drink. One day, disaster struck, and the dolphin fell to his death. The police came to the site and began asking questions. “Where does he live?” The sharks shrugged their shoulders. “Is he married?” The sharks didn’t know. “What is his name?” The sharks shrugged again. “You worked with this guy for five years and you don’t know anything about him?” the cop asked. “I know something about him,” one shark volunteered. “He has two assholes.” “What are you talking about?” said the cop. “Well,” said the shark, “Whenever we go for a drink after work the bartended says, ‘Here comes the dolphin with the two assholes.'”