Call Me A Teddy Bear Again!

F/6.3, 1/50, ISO 2000.

American Black Bear

Why don’t bears like fast food?

Because they can’t catch it!

Interesting Fact: Solitary animals, black bears roam large territories, though they do not protect them from other bears. Males might wander a 15- to 80-square-mile home range. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/a/american-black-bear/ )

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Fly By!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Great Egret

Bobby went in to a pet shop.

Bobby: “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The Sales Guy: “Do you want an aquarium?”

Bobby: “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known Great Egret was 22 years, 10 months old and was banded in Ohio. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret )

Chill With Me

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 450.

American Tree Sparrow 

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts

Interesting Fact:  Misleadingly named by European settlers reminded of Eurasian Tree Sparrows back home, American Tree Sparrows are ground birds. They forage on the ground, nest on the ground, and breed primarily in scrubby areas at or above the treeline. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Tree_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Do You Have My Quack?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ruddy Duck

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?

He was a quackhead.

Interesting Fact:  The oldest Ruddy Duck on record was a male and at least 13 years, 7 months old. He was banded in British Columbia and 1951 and found in Oregon in 1964. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck )

Take A Chill Pill!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Bird Power!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 250.

Belted Kingfisher

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Interesting Fact: The Belted Kingfisher is one of the few bird species in which the female is more brightly colored than the male. Among the nearly 100 species of kingfishers, the sexes often look alike. In some species the male is more colorful, and in others the female is. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher )

Stay Golden Ponyboy!

F/6.3, 1/180, ISO 320.

American Goldfinch

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Interesting Fact: Goldfinches move south in winter following a pattern that seems to coincide with regions where the minimum January temperature is no colder than 0 degrees Fahrenheit on average. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch )

The Key To Eating Healthy Is To Avoid Any Food That Has TV Commercial.

F/6.0, 1/125, ISO 640.

Golden Eagle

What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Interesting Fact: Although capable of killing large prey such as cranes, wild ungulates, and domestic livestock, the Golden Eagle subsists primarily on rabbits, hares, ground squirrels, and prairie dogs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden_Eagle/overview )

Sometimes I pretend To Be Normal. But It Gets Boaring. So I Go Back To Being Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

 Yellow-Rumped Warbler

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Interesting Fact: When males court females, they fluff their feathers, raise their wings and the feathers of the crown, and hop from perch to perch, chipping. They may also make display flights in which they glide back and forth or fly slowly with exaggerated wingbeats. The Yellow-rumped Warbler’s flight is agile and swift, and the birds often call as they change direction. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory#behavior )