Dear People, Quit Trying To Look Like Us In Photos… It’s Embarrassing To Our Species.

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Gadwall

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Interesting Fact:  Gadwall are dabbling ducks—they ride fairly high in the water and they tip forward to graze on submerged plants that they can reach with their outstretched necks. They rarely dive. Gadwall sometimes steal food from American Coots. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gadwall/lifehistory )

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Time To Start Dabbling!

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Northern Shoveler 

What do you call a dinosaur that sits on nails?

Megasaurus (mega sore ass).

Interesting Fact: Northern Shoveler pairs are monogamous, and remain together longer than pairs of other dabbling duck species. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

 

The Fish Was This Big! I Swear!

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Canada Goose

What does a pig put on its paper cut?

Oinkment!

Interesting Fact:  At least 11 subspecies of Canada Goose have been recognized, although only a couple are distinctive. In general, the geese get smaller as you move northward, and darker as you go westward. The four smallest forms are now considered a different species: the Cackling Goose. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Quack Like You Mean It!

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Black Scoter

This guy went to school and he asked
“May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, ” no not unless you say your abc’s.”
The guy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
The teacher asked “Where’s the p?
He replied, ” running down my leg!”

Interesting Fact:  The Black Scoter occasionally does a “Wing-flap” display while swimming, flapping its wings with its body held up out of the water. Unlike other scoters, it almost always punctuates a Wing-flap with a characteristic downward thrust of head, as if its neck were momentarily broken. Surf and White-winged scoters keep their heads and bills pointing more or less above the horizontal throughout a Wing-flap.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

Goose On The Loose!

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Domestic Goose in Wild

What did the tooth brush want to become when he grew older?

A broom.

Interesting Fact: The domestication, as Charles Darwin remarks (The Variation of Animals and Plants under Domestication i. 287), is of very ancient date, with archaeological evidence for domesticated geese in Egypt more than 4,000 years ago.[2] They are much larger, and they have been selected for that larger size, with domesticated breeds weighing up to 10 kilograms (22 lb),[2] compared to the maximum of 3.5 kilograms (7.7 lb) for the wild swan goose and 4.1 kilograms (9.0 lb) for the wild greylag goose.[3] This affects their body structure; whereas wild geese have a horizontal posture and slim rear end, domesticated geese lay down large fat deposits toward the tail end, giving a fat rear and forcing the bird into a more upright posture. Although their heavy weight affects their ability to fly, most breeds of domestic geese are capable of flight. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_goose )

Ain’t No Thang Like A Duck Wing

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American Black Duck

Why did the Skeleton go to the movies by himself?

He had no body to go with him.

Interesting Fact:  Pleistocene fossils of American Black Ducks, at least 11,000 years old, have been unearthed in Florida and Georgia. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Black_Duck/lifehistory  )

Keep Calm And Quack Quack!

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Black Scoter

Mother: What did you learn in school today

Son: How to write.

Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!

Interesting Fact: The Black Scoter is divided into two subspecies. In the form found in Europe, the “Common Scoter,” the male has a larger swollen knob at the base of the upper bill that is black on the sides with a yellow stripe on top, not entirely yellow. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

 

 

That’s Not A Wild Goose Chase. That’s Bingo.

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Domestic Geese in Wild

Which two letters in the alphabet are always jealous?

NV.

Interesting Fact: In Europe, northern Africa, and western Asia, the original domesticated geese are derived from the greylag goose Anser anser. In eastern Asia, the original domesticated geese are derived from the swan goose Anser cygnoides; these are commonly known as Chinese geese. Both have been widely introduced in more recent times, and modern flocks in both areas (and elsewhere, such as Australia and North America) may consist of either species, and/or hybrids between them. Chinese geese may be readily distinguished from European geese by the large knob at the base of the bill, though hybrids may exhibit every degree of variation between them. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_goose )

You Need A Bodyguard To Go Out

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Brant Goose

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: It used to be a strictly coastal bird in winter, seldom leaving tidal estuaries, where it feeds on eel-grass (Zostera marina) and the seaweed, sea lettuce (Ulva). On the east coast of North America, the inclusion of sea lettuce is a recent change to their diet, brought about by a blight on eelgrass in 1931. This resulted in the near-extirpation of the brant. The few that survived changed their diet to include sea lettuce until the eelgrass eventually began to return. Brants have maintained this diet ever since as a survival strategy.[6] In recent decades, it has started using agricultural land a short distance inland, feeding extensively on grass and winter-sown cereals. This may be behavior learned by following other species of geese. Food resource pressure may also be important in forcing this change, as the world population has risen over 10-fold to 400,000-500,000 by the mid-1980s, possibly reaching the carrying capacity of the estuaries. In the breeding season, it uses low-lying wet coastal tundra for both breeding and feeding. The nest is bowl-shaped, lined with grass and down, in an elevated location, often in a small pond. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brant_(goose) )