Take A Chill Pill!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Flap Your Wings Like You Mean It.

F/13.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Bufflehead Duck ( Male )

What do you call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact: To dive, Bufflehead compress their plumage to squeeze out air, then give a slight forward leap and plunge powerfully downward. They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

50 Shades Of Red In My Eyes

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback 

What type of book has only characters and no story?

A telephone book.

Interesting Fact: A large diving duck, the Canvasback breeds in prairie potholes and winters on ocean bays. Its sloping profile distinguishes it from other ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/id )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

I Will, I Will, Quack You!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback ( Female ) 

Guy in a restaurant calls a waiter over

Guy: “Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.”

Waiter: “And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!”

Interesting Fact: The breeding habitat of the canvasback is in North Americaprairie potholes. The bulky nest is built from vegetation in a marsh and lined with down. Loss of nesting habitat has caused populations to decline. The canvasback usually takes a new mate each year, pairing in late winter on ocean bays.[5] It prefers to nest over water on permanent prairie marshes surrounded by emergent vegetation, such as cattails and bulrushes, which provide protective cover. Other important breeding areas are the subarctic river deltas in Saskatchewan and the interior of Alaska. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvasback )

Eat My Bubbles!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Tom and Bobby are talking:

Bobby: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Tom: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Bobby: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Interesting Fact: Its breedinghabitat is freshwater lakes and rivers across northern North America, Greenland, Europe, and Asia. It nests in sheltered locations on the ground near water. It is migratory and many northern breeders winter in coastalwaters further south. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Catch Me If You Can!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Great Egret

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Interesting Fact: Though it mainly hunts while wading, the Great Egret occasionally swims to capture prey or hovers (somewhat laboriously) over the water and dips for fish. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret

The Call Of The Wild

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 200.

Eastern Phoebe

What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

Interesting Fact: In 1804, the Eastern Phoebe became the first banded bird in North America. John James Audubon attached silvered thread to an Eastern Phoebe’s leg to track its return in successive years. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Phoebe/lifehistory )

Don’t Make Me Walk When I Want To Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Red-tailed Hawk

How do trees access the internet?

They log in.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks occupy just about every type of open habitat on the continent. This includes desert, scrublands, grasslands, roadsides, fields and pastures, parks, broken woodland, and (in Mexico) tropical rainforest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )