You Taste Like Sunshine!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 400.

American Goldfinch ( Breeding Female )

What did the banana say to the doctor?

“I’m not peeling well.”

Interesting Fact: Male and female move around together to choose a suitable nest site. The female builds the nest, usually in a shrub or sapling in a fairly open setting rather than in forest interior. The nest is often built high in a shrub, where two or three vertical branches join; usually shaded by clusters of leaves or needles from above, but often open and visible from below. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch/lifehistory )

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Easter Is The Only Time Of The Year When It’s Perfectly Safe To Put All Your Eggs In One Basket.

Happy Easter Everyone! 

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Desert Cottontail Rabbit

What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?

It’s going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

Interesting Fact:  Many desert animals prey on cottontails, including birds of prey, mustelids, the coyote, the bobcat, the lynx, wolves, mountain lions, snakes, weasels, humans, and even squirrels, should a cottontail be injured or docile from illness.[22] Alien species, such as cats and dogs, are also known predators, and also pose a threat.[12] Southwestern Native Americans hunted them for meat but also used their fur and hides. It is also considered a game species, due to which it is hunted for sport.[12] The desert cottontail’s normal behavior upon spotting a potential predator is to freeze in place in an attempt to avoid being detected. If it determines that it is in danger, it will flee the area by hopping away in a zigzag pattern.[23] Cottontails can reach speeds of over 30 km/h (19 mph). When defending itself against small predators or other desert cottontails, it will nudge with its nose, or slap with its front paws, usually preceded by a hop straight upwards as high as two feet when threatened or taken by surprise. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_cottontail )

Here I Sit Broken Hearted Tried To Poop But Only Farted

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

Why did Bob throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

Interesting Fact: Yellow-rumped Warblers flit through the canopies of coniferous trees as they forage. They cling to the bark surface to look for hidden insects more than many warblers do, but they also frequently sit on exposed branches and catch passing insects like a flycatcher does. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

Goodmooning!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 640.

Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )

I Was Redhead Before It Was Cool!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 640.

Northern Cardinal ( Male ) 

Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room? 

Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

Interesting Fact:  The Cardinal nest typically takes 3 to 9 days to build; the finished product is 2-3 inches tall, 4 inches across, with an inner diameter of about 3 inches. Cardinals usually don’t use their nests more than once. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

I Been Feeling Puffy Lately!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Killdeer

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact: Killdeer nests are simple scrapes often placed on slight rises in their open habitats. Killdeer may make several scrapes not far away from each other before choosing one to lay in. The duplication may help to confuse predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Killdeer/lifehistory )

Water Chicken!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

American Coot

“Babe is it in?”

“Yea.” “Does it hurt?”

“Uh huh.”

“Let me put it in slowly.”

“It still hurts.”

“Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”

Interesting Fact: A slow and meticulous forager, the American Coot plucks at plants while walking, swimming, dabbling with its head just underwater, or in full dives. In flight coots are clumsy and labored (though less so than Common Moorhens). To get airborne, coots typically have to beat their wings while running across the water for many yards. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot/lifehistory# )

Which Way Do We Go?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ruddy Ducks

Where do sheep go to get haircuts?

To the Baa Baa shop!

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks spend the vast majority of their time on the water. They are fast fliers but have little maneuverability in the air, and they tend to swim and dive rather than fly to escape predators—which include Red-tailed Hawks, Great Horned Owls, mink, raccoons, and red foxes.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

Bellllyyyy Floooop!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Bufflehead Duck

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Bufflehead nest only in cavities, using holes dug by Northern Flickers and sometimes Pileated Woodpeckers (as well as artificial nest boxes). In the summer, females that are too young to breed, or whose nests have failed, fly around in noisy groups and scope out the available nest holes for the following breeding season. Just before laying, females make more secretive flights to prospective holes, either alone or with their mates. They usually choose cavities in poplar or aspen trees, except in California where they often use pine trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

The Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Not Wasted Time!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: Though the Palm Warbler’s name might imply it is a tropical bird, it’s actually one of the northernmost breeding of all warblers (only the Blackpoll Warbler breeds farther north). They got their name from J. P. Gmelin who named them based on a specimen collected on Hispaniola, a Caribbean island with a lot of palm trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler )