Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

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Fly By!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Great Egret

Bobby went in to a pet shop.

Bobby: “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The Sales Guy: “Do you want an aquarium?”

Bobby: “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known Great Egret was 22 years, 10 months old and was banded in Ohio. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret )

Flap Your Wings Like Bird!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 1000.

Golden-crowned Kinglet

Two fish are in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

Interesting Fact: Although it used to nest almost exclusively in boreal spruce-fir forests, the Golden-crowned Kinglet has been expanding its breeding range southward into conifer stands of the Midwest and Appalachians. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

Get Your Green On!

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

F/8.0, 1/125, ISO 110.

Monk Parakeets

Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?

Because you don’t want to press your luck.

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets kept in captivity can learn to mimic human speech. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

Interesting Fact: Saint Patrick’s Day, or the Feast of Saint Patrick(Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”), is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March, the traditional death date of Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the foremost patron saint of Ireland. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick%27s_Day )

Let’s Swim Away Together!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )

Drink Water Suprise Your Liver!!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy.

What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Interesting Fact:  Courting males swim before a female with wings and tail elevated, sometimes tilting the head backwards for a few seconds. Males may also perform ritualized drinking, preening, and shaking movements. Both members of a pair may preen each other. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory  )

Let Me Adjust My Crown And Get My Day Started

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Golden-crowned Kinglet

Two fish in a tank

one says to the other, “How do you drive this thing?”

 

Interesting Fact: Each of the Golden-crowned Kinglet’s nostrils is covered by a single, tiny feather. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

At The Quack Of Dawn

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 250.

Wood Duck

What do you get when a duck bends over?

Buttquack

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks feed by dabbling or short, shallow dives. They are strong fliers and can reach speeds of 30 mph. Wood Ducks are not territorial, with the exception that a male may fight off other males that approach his mate too closely. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

 

“Make Sure You Get My Good Side.”

Bananaquit

F/6.3, 1/50, ISO 1600.

Bananaquit

Day 134 /365

Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!

Interesting Fact: It uses its sharp beak to pierce a flower from the side, taking the nectar without actually pollinating the plant. They cannot hover like a hummingbird, and must always perch while feeding. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1014/overview/Bananaquit.aspx )