Fly By!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Great Egret

Bobby went in to a pet shop.

Bobby: “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The Sales Guy: “Do you want an aquarium?”

Bobby: “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known Great Egret was 22 years, 10 months old and was banded in Ohio. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret )

Are You Looking At Me?!

F/5.6, 1/80, ISO 320.

California Scrub-Jay

How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

Interesting Fact: You might see California Scrub-Jays standing on the back of a mule deer. They’re eating ticks and other parasites. The deer seem to appreciate the help, often standing still and holding up their ears to give the jays access. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/California_Scrub-Jay/overview )

Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

You See Me Rollin!

F/7.1, 1/200. ISO 125.

Great Egret

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Do You Think I Give A Quack!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: Natural cavities for nesting are scarce, and the Wood Duck readily uses nest boxes provided for it. If nest boxes are placed too close together, many females lay eggs in the nests of other females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck )

Catch Me If You Can!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Great Egret

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Interesting Fact: Though it mainly hunts while wading, the Great Egret occasionally swims to capture prey or hovers (somewhat laboriously) over the water and dips for fish. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret

Today’s Forecast Calling For A 90% Chance Of Swamp-Ass.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 800.

Great Egret

Why did the lady quit her job at the orange juice factory?

She couldn’t concentrate.

Interesting Fact: Males choose the display areas, where nests are later constructed. The nest itself is up to 100 feet off the ground, often over water, usually in or near the top of a shrub or tree such as a redwood, tamarisk, live oak, eastern redcedar, yaupon holly, wax myrtle, mangrove, Australian pine, buttonwood, Brazilian pepper, black willow, or privet. Great Egrets occasionally nest on the ground or on artificial platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

When In Doubt Wear Red!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 250.

Northern Cardinal 

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts !

Interesting Fact: Only a few female North American songbirds sing, but the female Northern Cardinal does, and often while sitting on the nest. This may give the male information about when to bring food to the nest. A mated pair shares song phrases, but the female may sing a longer and slightly more complex song than the male. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Hey Autocorrect! Quit Tampering With My Curse Words, You Mother Forklift!

F/5.6, 1/100, ISO 640.

Bananaquit

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?

It got pissed off.

Interesting Fact: The bananaquit is known for its ability to adjust remarkably to human environments. It often visits gardens and may become very tame. Its nickname, the sugar bird, comes from its affinity for bowls or bird feeders stocked with granular sugar, a common method of attracting these birds.[19] The bananaquit builds a spherical lined nest with a side entrance hole, laying up to three eggs, which are incubated solely by the female.[4] It may also build its nest in human-made objects, such as lampshades and garden trellises. The birds breed all year regardless of season and build new nests throughout the year. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaquit )