Don’t Play Dead With A Vulture. That’s Exactly What They Want.

turkey-vulture

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Turkey Vulture

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.”

Interesting Fact: Turkey Vultures, like other carrion birds, are protected from disease associated with decaying animals by a very sophisticated immune system. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/117/overview/Turkey_Vulture.aspx )

Well…This Is Hawkward

red-tailed-hawk-hawkward

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Red-tailed Hawk 

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store!

Interesting Fact: The Red-tailed Hawk has a thrilling, raspy scream that sounds exactly like a raptor should sound. At least, that’s what Hollywood directors seem to think. Whenever a hawk or eagle appears onscreen, no matter what species, the shrill cry on the soundtrack is almost always a Red-tailed Hawk. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

 

Get My Good Side! Ew

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Blue Jay

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet ya’ at the corner!

Interesting Facts: This common, large songbird is familiar to many people, with its perky crest; blue, white, gray, and black plumage; and noisy calls. Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems, and have tight family bonds. They often mate for life, remaining with their social mate throughout the year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Blue_Jay/lifehistory )

And Since I Have No Place To Go Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.

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Northern Cardinal Female

Why did the baseball coach throw Cinderella off the team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

Interesting Fact: A week or two before the female starts building, she starts to visit possible nest sites with the male following along. The pair call back and forth and hold nesting material in their bills as they assess each site. Nests tend to be wedged into a fork of small branches in a sapling, shrub, or vine tangle, 1-15 feet high and hidden in dense foliage. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

 

 

 

A Bird Does Not Sing Becauces It Has An Answer. It Sings Because It Has A Song.

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Tufted Titmouse

What is the snowman’s breakfast?…

Frosted flakes!

Interesting Fact: The Black-crested Titmouse of Texas and Mexico has at times been considered just a form of the Tufted Titmouse. The two species hybridize where they meet, but the hybrid zone is narrow and stable over time. They differ slightly in the quality of their calls, and show genetic differences as well. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

Baby It’s Cold Outside!

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Northern Cardinal Male 

Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?

Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”

Interesting Fact: Look for Northern Cardinals in dense shrubby areas such as forest edges, overgrown fields, hedgerows, backyards, marshy thickets, mesquite, regrowing forest, and ornamental landscaping. Cardinals nest in dense foliage and look for conspicuous, fairly high perches for singing. Growth of towns and suburbs across eastern North America has helped the cardinal expand its range northward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

 

 

 

So Cold Outside I Just Farted Snowflakes!

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Carolina Wren

Those, who go to sleep late, are called owls.
Those, who wake up early, are called larks.
And those, who go to  sleep late and wake up early, are called Angry Birds.

Interesting Fact: The Carolina Wren is sensitive to cold weather, with the northern populations decreasing markedly after severe winters. The gradually increasing winter temperatures over the last century may have been responsible for the northward range expansion seen in the mid-1900s. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

I’m The King Of The World!

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Mallard 

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Everyone’s spreading it.

Interesting Fact: Mallards are an abundant city and suburban park duck and because of constant feedings by park visitors, they can become very tame and approachable. In more natural settings and where Mallards are heavily hunted, they can be very wary of approaching people. They commonly associate with and may hybridize with other dabbling ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

 

Get Ready, Set, Goooooooo!!!!!

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Tufted Titmouse 

Why did the artist bring a pencil and paper to a duel?

He wanted to draw his weapon.

Interesting Fact: Tufted Titmice flit from branch to branch of the forest canopy looking for food, often in the company of other species including nuthatches, chickadees, kinglets, and woodpeckers. When they find large seeds, such as the sunflower seeds they take from bird feeders, titmice typically hold the seed with their feet and hammer it open with their beaks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

 

Cause I’m A Wanderer!

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White-breasted Nuthatch

What was the murderer’s last request to the priest as he sat in the electric chair?

Will you hold my hand?

Interesting Fact: White-breasted Nuthatches forage up, down, and sideways over tree trunks and around large branches. They often (though not always) start high in trees and move down them head first, pausing to crane their necks up and back, toward the horizontal, for a look around. They probe into bark crevices or chip away at wood to find food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-breasted_Nuthatch/lifehistory )