Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

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Muddy Quack!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 450.

Northern Pintail Duck

What day do fish hate?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The Northern Pintail is among the earliest nesting ducks in North America, beginning shortly after ice-out in many northern areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings.

I Feel Proud To Be A Bird!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

Neck-tarine

Interesting Fact: In winter, Yellow-rumped Warblers join flocks and switch to eating berries from fruiting shrubs. Sometimes the flocks are enormous groups consisting entirely of Yellow-rumped Warblers. If another bird gets too close, Yellow-rumped Warblers indicate the infraction by holding the body horizontally, fanning the tail, and raising it to form a right angle with its body. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

I Have A Leg Up On You

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

Ghosts are hard to impress.

They boo everything.

Interesting Fact: Their breeding habitat is bogs and marshes in the boreal forest region of Canada and Alaska. They nest on the ground, usually in well-hidden locations near water. The three to four eggs average 50 mm (2.0 in) in length and 33 mm (1.3 in) in breadth and weigh about 28 g (0.99 oz). The incubation period is 23 days. The young leave the nest within 24 hours of hatching and then leave the vicinity of the nest within two days.( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

Chillin Like A Villain

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-winged Blackbird ( Adult Female  )

What does a crying ghost say?

Boo-Hoo

Interesting Fact:  Females build the nests by winding stringy plant material around several close, upright stems and weaving in a platform of coarse, wet vegetation. Around and over this she adds more wet leaves and decayed wood, plastering the inside with mud to make a cup. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-winged_Blackbird/lifehistory )

Swim, Duck, Swim!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Green-Winged Teal

Why aren’t there any famous skeletons?

They’re a bunch of no bodies.

Interesting Fact:  The oldest known Green-winged Teal was at least 20 years and 3 months, based on banding data. It was a female banded in 1941 in Oklahoma, and recovered by a hunter 1960 in Missouri. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

Dear People, Quit Trying To Look Like Us In Photos… It’s Embarrassing To Our Species.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Gadwall

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Interesting Fact:  Gadwall are dabbling ducks—they ride fairly high in the water and they tip forward to graze on submerged plants that they can reach with their outstretched necks. They rarely dive. Gadwall sometimes steal food from American Coots. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gadwall/lifehistory )

You Like My Legs?

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

A bear walks into a bar. He says, “I’ll have a gin… … … … … … … and tonic.”

The bartender says, “Sure, but what about the big pause?”

The bear says, “I was born with them.”

Interesting Fact: A common, tall, long-legged shorebird of freshwater ponds and tidal marshes, the Greater Yellowlegs frequently announces its presence by its piercing alarm calls. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

I Think We Have A Problem!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Snowy Egret

When is a door sweet and tasty?

When its jammed!

Interesting Fact: The male starts working on a nest before finding a mate. Then the female takes over and ends up doing most of the nest building, with materials supplied by the male. The nest is a shallow oval of loosely woven twigs, small sticks, grasses, sedges, rushes, and Spanish moss, about 14–18 inches across and 8–13 inches high. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )