It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

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This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Win An Argument, Correct Their Grammar Instead.

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Tree Swallow

Nurse: “The invisible man is here for his appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t see him right now.”

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows nest in natural cavities of standing dead trees, old woodpecker cavities, or nest boxes. On occasion they nest in hollow stumps, building eaves, Wood Duck nest boxes, holes in the ground, old Cliff Swallow burrows, or other unconventional sites.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart!

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Ovenbird

Why did the apple run away?

Because the banana split!

Interesting Fact: The Ovenbird gets its name from its covered nest. The dome and side entrance make it resemble a Dutch oven. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ovenbird/overview )

The Deeper You Look The Better The Treasure.

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Yellow Warbler

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

“Odor in the court!”

Interesting Fact: Yellow Warblers build their nests in the vertical fork of a bush or small tree such as willow, hawthorn, raspberry, white cedar, dogwood, and honeysuckle. The nest is typically within about 10 feet of the ground but occasionally up to about 40 feet.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow_Warbler/lifehistory )

I’m Gonna Tell You Again STOP HUMMING!

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Rufous Hummingbird

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

Interesting Fact: The Rufous Hummingbird has an excellent memory for location, no doubt helping it find flowers from day to day, or even year to year. Some birds have been seen returning from migration and investigating where a feeder had been the previous year, even though it had since been moved. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rufous_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

Are You Tailing Me Because That Would Be Super!

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Northern Pintail Duck

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Northern Pintail was a male and at least 22 years, 3 months old when he was found in Saskatchewan, Canada. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

Save Water Take Baths With A Friend!

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Northern Shoveler

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?

“I hope I didn’t quack any!”

Interesting Fact: Females use their body, feet, and bill to make a small depression on the ground about 8 inches wide. The nest scrape is usually surrounded on at least three sides by vegetation and lined with downy feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

 

 

You Quack Me Up!

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Northern Shoveler

At what time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Interesting Fact: When flushed off the nest, a female Northern Shoveler often defecates on its eggs, apparently to deter predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/overview )

Quack You, You Quacker!

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Northern Shoveler 

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

Interesting Fact: They are often referred to as the “Spoonbill” or “Spoony” because of their unique spatulate shaped bill, which has about 110 fine projections (called lamellae) along the edges, for straining food from water.  ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/97/overview/Northern_Shoveler.aspx )