I Swear, I Am One Cocktail Away From Telling Everyone What I Really Think!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 160.

Least Sandpiper

A Sandwich walks into a bar.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”

Interesting Fact: Researchers studying Least Sandpipers discovered a new feeding mechanism. While probing damp mud with their bills, the sandpipers use the surface tension of the water to transport prey quickly from their bill tips to their mouths. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/ )

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He Tried To Imagine The Sound Of The Color Red

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 800.

Scarlet Tanager

What happened when the two antennas got married?

Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great!

Interesting Fact: The female Scarlet Tanager sings a song similar to the male’s, but softer, shorter, and less harsh. She sings in answer to the male’s song and while she is gathering nesting material. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Scarlet_Tanager/overview )

Being Small Works For Me!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Least Sandpiper

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because he was stuffed.

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper )

Life Always Offers You A Second Chance. It’s Called Tomorrow.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then you will get 7 years of bad luck! 

Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)

Interesting Fact: These birds forage in shallow water, sometimes using their bills to stir up the water. They mainly eat insects and small fish, as well as crustaceans and marine worms. It often walks in sand or mud and leaves clear tracks; it can be possible to gather information about this species using its tracks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

Play In The Dirt Because Life Is Too Short To Always Have Clean Fingernails.

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Semipalmated Plover

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated plovers forage for food on beaches, tidal flats and fields, usually by sight. They eat insects, crustaceans and worms. This bird resembles the killdeer but is much smaller and has only one band. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semipalmated_plover )

Take A Chill Pill!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

I Have A Leg Up On You

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

Ghosts are hard to impress.

They boo everything.

Interesting Fact: Their breeding habitat is bogs and marshes in the boreal forest region of Canada and Alaska. They nest on the ground, usually in well-hidden locations near water. The three to four eggs average 50 mm (2.0 in) in length and 33 mm (1.3 in) in breadth and weigh about 28 g (0.99 oz). The incubation period is 23 days. The young leave the nest within 24 hours of hatching and then leave the vicinity of the nest within two days.( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

You Like My Legs?

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

A bear walks into a bar. He says, “I’ll have a gin… … … … … … … and tonic.”

The bartender says, “Sure, but what about the big pause?”

The bear says, “I was born with them.”

Interesting Fact: A common, tall, long-legged shorebird of freshwater ponds and tidal marshes, the Greater Yellowlegs frequently announces its presence by its piercing alarm calls. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

Shouting Out The Wrong Part Of The Song With Confidence!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Ovenbird

A wife told her husband to whisper dirty things to her, the husband then replies,

“The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room.”

Interesting Fact: On its breeding ground, the Ovenbird divides up the forest environment with the other warblers of the forest floor. The Ovenbird uses the uplands and moderately sloped areas, the Worm-eating Warbler uses the steep slopes, and the Louisiana Waterthrush and the Kentucky Warbler use the low-lying areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ovenbird/lifehistory )