Should We Drink Today… Or Drink Today And Tomorrow… We are Confused!

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Greater Yellowlegs

Why do ghosts carry tissues?

Because they have BOOOOgers.

Interesting Fact: The Greater Yellowlegs nests on the ground often at the base of short, coniferous trees. Nests from the previous year are occasionally reused in subsequent years.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

 

 

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Nooo, Go Away You Are Bothering Me!

Tree Swallow

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Tree Swallow

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

Interesting Fact: The Tree Swallow—which is most often seen in open, treeless areas—gets its name from its habit of nesting in tree cavities. They also take readily to nest boxes.  ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/tree_swallow/lifehistory )

I’ve Always Loved The Idea Of Not Being What People Expect Me To Be

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Willow Flycatcher

A termite walks into a bar and asks

“Is the bar tender here?”

Interesting Fact: Flycatchers don’t learn their songs from their parents like many other birds. Instead flycatchers hatch knowing their songs. Scientists tested this by raising Willow Flycatchers in captivity while letting them listen to an Alder Flycatcher sing its free beer song. Despite hearing this song all day, Willow chicks grew up to sing their species’ own fitz-bew. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Willow_Flycatcher/lifehistory )

We Are Not Talking If You Are Wondering!

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Greater Yellowlegs

What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny Farts!

Interesting Fact: The Greater Yellowlegs walks with a distinctive high-stepping gait across wetlands when foraging, occasionally dashing forward in pursuit of a prey item. Compared to other shorebirds, the Greater Yellowlegs is often rather solitary.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

Don’t Bother Me I Am Guarding This Bush!

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Rufous Hummingbird

Why did they have to bury George Washington standing up?

Because he could never lie.

Interesting Fact: Rufous Hummingbirds, like most other hummingbirds, beat their wings extremely fast to be able to hover in place. The wingbeat frequency of Rufous Hummingbirds has been recorded at 52–62 wingbeats per second. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rufous_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

 

You Like My Legs?

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Greater Yellowlegs

A bear walks into a bar. He says, “I’ll have a gin… … … … … … … and tonic.”

The bartender says, “Sure, but what about the big pause?”

The bear says, “I was born with them.”

Interesting Fact: A common, tall, long-legged shorebird of freshwater ponds and tidal marshes, the Greater Yellowlegs frequently announces its presence by its piercing alarm calls. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

Don’t You Think We Should Go Wireless?!

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Barn Swallow

Husband and Wife are having a conversation.

Wife: How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.

Interesting Fact: The Barn Swallow is the most abundant and widely distributed swallow species in the world. It breeds throughout the Northern Hemisphere and winters in much of the Southern Hemisphere. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

 

 

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Win An Argument, Correct Their Grammar Instead.

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Tree Swallow

Nurse: “The invisible man is here for his appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t see him right now.”

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows nest in natural cavities of standing dead trees, old woodpecker cavities, or nest boxes. On occasion they nest in hollow stumps, building eaves, Wood Duck nest boxes, holes in the ground, old Cliff Swallow burrows, or other unconventional sites.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )