Don’t Bother Me I Am Guarding This Bush!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 100.

Rufous Hummingbird

Why did they have to bury George Washington standing up?

Because he could never lie.

Interesting Fact: Rufous Hummingbirds, like most other hummingbirds, beat their wings extremely fast to be able to hover in place. The wingbeat frequency of Rufous Hummingbirds has been recorded at 52–62 wingbeats per second. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rufous_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

 

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You Like My Legs?

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

A bear walks into a bar. He says, “I’ll have a gin… … … … … … … and tonic.”

The bartender says, “Sure, but what about the big pause?”

The bear says, “I was born with them.”

Interesting Fact: A common, tall, long-legged shorebird of freshwater ponds and tidal marshes, the Greater Yellowlegs frequently announces its presence by its piercing alarm calls. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

Don’t You Think We Should Go Wireless?!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Barn Swallow

Husband and Wife are having a conversation.

Wife: How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.

Interesting Fact: The Barn Swallow is the most abundant and widely distributed swallow species in the world. It breeds throughout the Northern Hemisphere and winters in much of the Southern Hemisphere. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

 

 

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Win An Argument, Correct Their Grammar Instead.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Nurse: “The invisible man is here for his appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t see him right now.”

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows nest in natural cavities of standing dead trees, old woodpecker cavities, or nest boxes. On occasion they nest in hollow stumps, building eaves, Wood Duck nest boxes, holes in the ground, old Cliff Swallow burrows, or other unconventional sites.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart!

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 500.

Ovenbird

Why did the apple run away?

Because the banana split!

Interesting Fact: The Ovenbird gets its name from its covered nest. The dome and side entrance make it resemble a Dutch oven. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ovenbird/overview )

The Deeper You Look The Better The Treasure.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 500.

Yellow Warbler

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

“Odor in the court!”

Interesting Fact: Yellow Warblers build their nests in the vertical fork of a bush or small tree such as willow, hawthorn, raspberry, white cedar, dogwood, and honeysuckle. The nest is typically within about 10 feet of the ground but occasionally up to about 40 feet.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow_Warbler/lifehistory )

I’m Gonna Tell You Again STOP HUMMING!

rufous-hummingbird-1

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 100.

Rufous Hummingbird

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

Interesting Fact: The Rufous Hummingbird has an excellent memory for location, no doubt helping it find flowers from day to day, or even year to year. Some birds have been seen returning from migration and investigating where a feeder had been the previous year, even though it had since been moved. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rufous_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

Are You Tailing Me Because That Would Be Super!

northern-pintail-duck-1

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Northern Pintail was a male and at least 22 years, 3 months old when he was found in Saskatchewan, Canada. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )