By Invitation Only!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Mallard Female

Why do barbers make good drivers?

They know all the shortcuts.

Interesting Fact: During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

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I Don’t Have Grey Hair I Have Wisdom Highlights

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Gray Kingbird

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

Interesting Fact: The adult gray kingbird is an average-sized kingbird. It measures 23 cm (9.1 in) in length and weighs from 37 to 52 g (1.3 to 1.8 oz).[2] The upperparts are gray, with brownish wings and tail, and the underparts are white with a gray tinge to the chest. The head has a concealed yellow crown stripe, and a dusky mask through the eyes. The dark bill is heavier than that of the related, slightly smaller, tropical kingbird. The sexes are similar, but young birds have rufous edges on the wing coverts, rump and tail. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_kingbird )

 

Nooo, Go Away You Are Bothering Me!

Tree Swallow

F/5,6, 1/400, ISO 125.

Tree Swallow

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

Interesting Fact: The Tree Swallow—which is most often seen in open, treeless areas—gets its name from its habit of nesting in tree cavities. They also take readily to nest boxes.  ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/tree_swallow/lifehistory )

I Think I’m In Love. No Wait, I Was Just Hungry.

F/11.0,1/500, ISO 800.

Bananaquit

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

“Yamahahaha”

Interesting Fact: The bananaquit has a slender, curved bill, adapted to taking nectar from flowers. It sometimes pierces flowers from the side, taking the nectar without pollinating the plant.[18] It also feeds on sweet juices by puncturing fruit with its beak, and will eat small insects on occasion. While feeding, the bananaquit must always perch as it cannot hover like a hummingbird. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaquit )

Check Out Deez Nuts!

F/6.3, 1/80, ISO 400. 

Downy Woodpecker

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers eat mainly insects, including beetle larvae that live inside wood or tree bark as well as ants and caterpillars. They eat pest insects including corn earworm, tent caterpillars, bark beetles, and apple borers. About a quarter of their diet consists of plant material, particularly berries, acorns, and grains. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

I’m Buggin’ Out!

F/6.3, 1/80, ISO 320.

Downy Woodpecker

What did the salad say to the fridge?

Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Interesting Fact: Both male and female excavate the nest hole, a job that takes 1 to 3 weeks. Entrance holes are round and 1-1.5 inches across. Cavities are 6-12 inches deep and widen toward the bottom to make room for eggs and the incubating bird. The cavity is lined only with wood chips. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

To Be Honest I’m Just Winging It!

F/6.3, 1/2000, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

What does a teddy bear say when you offer it a sandwich?

“No thanks, I’m stuffed”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks mated pairs typically stay together until one of the pair dies. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

I’ve Always Loved The Idea Of Not Being What People Expect Me To Be

F/ 6.3, 1/160, ISO 200.

Willow Flycatcher

A termite walks into a bar and asks

“Is the bar tender here?”

Interesting Fact: Flycatchers don’t learn their songs from their parents like many other birds. Instead flycatchers hatch knowing their songs. Scientists tested this by raising Willow Flycatchers in captivity while letting them listen to an Alder Flycatcher sing its free beer song. Despite hearing this song all day, Willow chicks grew up to sing their species’ own fitz-bew. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Willow_Flycatcher/lifehistory )

Make Like A Tree And Leave!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Great Blue Heron 

Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They checked the reviews and we only have one star.

Interesting Fact: Nest building can take from 3 days up to 2 weeks; the finished nest can range from a simple platform measuring 20 inches across to more elaborate structures used over multiple years, reaching 4 feet across and nearly 3.5 feet deep. Ground-nesting herons use vegetation such as salt grass to form the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

I Rule The SKY!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 100.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?

Their bats flew away.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )