If Being Awesome Was A Crime, I’d Be Serving A Life Sentence!

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Gray Kingbird

Where do most zombies live?

On DEAD end streets!

Interesting Fact: Like other kingbirds, these birds aggressively defend their territory against intruders, including mammals and much larger birds such as caracaras, red-tailed hawks and broad-winged hawks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_kingbird )

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Be Yourself Because An Original Is Worht More Then A Copy!

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White-winged Dove

What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat?

LIFE Savers!

Interesting Fact: Like other doves and pigeons, White-winged Doves have some unusual abilities. They can suck and swallow water without moving their heads. And they use a secretion from the esophagus, known as crop milk, to feed nestlings. Both parents may consume snails and bone fragments to help their bodies create the nutritious fluid. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-winged_Dove )

So Psyched To Head Bang Today!

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Hispaniolan Woodpecker

What are three words you dread the most while making love?

“Honey, I’m home.”

Interesting Fact: Unlike most woodpeckers, the Hispaniolan woodpecker is a social species that takes advantage of having a large number of individual adult birds in the colony to protect a nesting bank or tree. There may be twenty pairs of birds in a colony, with several nesting in the same tree. The nests are excavated in trunks and branches, and discarded holes are reused by parrots, parakeets, trogons, the Antillean piculet and the golden swallow.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispaniolan_woodpecker )

Of Course I Talk To Myself… Sometimes I Need Expert Advice.

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Hispaniolan amazon or Hispaniolan parrot

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?

An animal that talks your head off.

Interesting Fact: As with other amazons, it prefers forested areas where food is plentiful. This parrot lives in the wood forests in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. However over the recent years they have been captured out of their natural habitat illegally for pet trades or just to keep them as pets which are very popular in the Dominican Republic. Right now[when?] the population ranges from 10,000 to 19,000 in the wild and decreasing. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispaniolan_amazon#Habitat_and_distribution )

Chill With Me

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American Tree Sparrow 

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts

Interesting Fact:  Misleadingly named by European settlers reminded of Eurasian Tree Sparrows back home, American Tree Sparrows are ground birds. They forage on the ground, nest on the ground, and breed primarily in scrubby areas at or above the treeline. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Tree_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Take A Chill Pill!

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Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Bird Power!

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Belted Kingfisher

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Interesting Fact: The Belted Kingfisher is one of the few bird species in which the female is more brightly colored than the male. Among the nearly 100 species of kingfishers, the sexes often look alike. In some species the male is more colorful, and in others the female is. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher )

Sometimes I pretend To Be Normal. But It Gets Boaring. So I Go Back To Being Me.

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 Yellow-Rumped Warbler

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Interesting Fact: When males court females, they fluff their feathers, raise their wings and the feathers of the crown, and hop from perch to perch, chipping. They may also make display flights in which they glide back and forth or fly slowly with exaggerated wingbeats. The Yellow-rumped Warbler’s flight is agile and swift, and the birds often call as they change direction. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory#behavior )

Flap Your Wings Like Bird!

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Golden-crowned Kinglet

Two fish are in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

Interesting Fact: Although it used to nest almost exclusively in boreal spruce-fir forests, the Golden-crowned Kinglet has been expanding its breeding range southward into conifer stands of the Midwest and Appalachians. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

I Belong In The Air

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Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )