By Invitation Only!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Mallard Female

Why do barbers make good drivers?

They know all the shortcuts.

Interesting Fact: During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

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Motorboating Is My Thing!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Mallard Female

Which day of the week do chickens hate most?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Little Duckies Need Some Snackies

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 100.

Mallard Female with Ducklings

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Interesting Fact:  The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

 

Ehh, What’s Up Duck?

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Mallard 

Why did the duck cross the road?

Because there was a quack in the sidewalk. 

Interesting Fact:  Ducks have webbed feet, which they use for paddling beneath the water. Their feet have no nerves or blood vessels, which mean that they won’t feel chill from swimming in icy water. ( https://americanexpedition.us/mallard-duck-information-facts-photos-and-artwork )

Well I’m going down, down, down, down, down, down.

mallard-landing

F/6.0, 1/500, ISO 360.

Mallard  

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

Interesting Fact:  The Mallard is the ancestor of nearly all domestic duck breeds (everything except the Muscovy Duck). Domestic ducks can be common in city ponds and can be confusing to identify—they may lack the white neck ring, show white on the chest, be all dark, or show oddly shaped crests on the head. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Together We Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

Got An Itch That I Can’t Reach!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Mallard

What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

Interesting Fact: Mallards nest on the ground on dry land that is close to water; nests are generally concealed under overhanging grass or other vegetation. Occasionally, Mallards nest in agricultural fields, especially alfalfa but also winter wheat, barley, flax, and oats. Both urban and wild populations readily nest in artificial nesting structures. Pairs search for nest sites together, typically on evening flights circling low over the habitat. Occasionally nests are placed on floating mats of vegetation or woven into plant stems that rise out of the water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Wet And Wild!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 100.

Mallard Ducks

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time.

Interesting Fact: Mallards are generalist foragers and will eat a wide variety of food. They don’t dive, but dabble to feed, tipping forward in the water to eat seeds and aquatic vegetation. They also roam around on the shore and pick at vegetation and prey on the ground. During the breeding season, they eat mainly animal matter including aquatic insect larvae, earthworms, snails and freshwater shrimp. During migration, many Mallards consume largely agricultural seed and grain. In city parks, they readily accept handouts from parkgoers.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

When You Are With The Right Person, Every Day Is Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

mallard-love

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 100.

Mallard

Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”

Boy: “Really?”

Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”

Interesting Fact: Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine.[11] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).[12] Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who was martyred in 269 and was added to the calendar of saints by Pope Galesius in 496 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. The relics of Saint Valentine were kept in the Church and Catacombs of San Valentino in Rome, which “remained an important pilgrim site throughout the Middle Ages until the relics of St. Valentine were transferred to the church of Santa Prassede during the pontificate of Nicholas IV“.[13][14] The flower-crowned skull of Saint Valentine is exhibited in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. Other relics are found at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day#History )

Life Is Only A Reflection Of What We Allow Ourselves To See

mallard-5

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Mallard

A duck waddles into a card shop, he waddles his way to the front desk asking the clerk, Do you got any tape?

The clerk replies, No. So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, Do you have any tape?

The clerk looking irritated replying in a stern voice, No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!

So the duck just waddles away. At the same time the next day the Duck is waddling into that same card shop He waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, do you have any nails? The clerk says, no. Then the duck replied good!! So do you have any tape?

Interesting Fact: Mallard pairs form long before the spring breeding season. Pairing takes place in the fall, but courtship can be seen all winter. Only the female incubates the eggs and takes care of the ducklings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )