Got An Itch That I Can’t Reach!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Mallard

What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

Interesting Fact: Mallards nest on the ground on dry land that is close to water; nests are generally concealed under overhanging grass or other vegetation. Occasionally, Mallards nest in agricultural fields, especially alfalfa but also winter wheat, barley, flax, and oats. Both urban and wild populations readily nest in artificial nesting structures. Pairs search for nest sites together, typically on evening flights circling low over the habitat. Occasionally nests are placed on floating mats of vegetation or woven into plant stems that rise out of the water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

If The Mud Ain’t Flying You Ain’t Trying!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Northern Pintail Duck

How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

Interesting Fact: When it comes to breeding, Northern Pintails don’t waste any time. They start nesting as soon as the ice starts to thaw, arriving by late April in places as far north as the Northwest Territories, Canada. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/ )

Are You Tailing Me Because That Would Be Super!

northern-pintail-duck-1

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Northern Pintail was a male and at least 22 years, 3 months old when he was found in Saskatchewan, Canada. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

Well I’m going down, down, down, down, down, down.

mallard-landing

F/6.0, 1/500, ISO 360.

Mallard  

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

Interesting Fact:  The Mallard is the ancestor of nearly all domestic duck breeds (everything except the Muscovy Duck). Domestic ducks can be common in city ponds and can be confusing to identify—they may lack the white neck ring, show white on the chest, be all dark, or show oddly shaped crests on the head. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

You Surprised Me Like A Shart.

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 220.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

Why is chicken soccer match a bad idea?

There are too many fowls.

Interesting Fact: Hooded Merganser ducklings leave their nest cavity within 24 hours of hatching. First, their mother checks the area around the nest and calls to the nestlings from ground level. From inside the nest, the little fluffballs scramble up to the entrance hole and then flutter to the ground, which may be 50 feet or more below them. In some cases they have to walk half a mile or more with their mother to the nearest body of water. ( Hooded Merganser Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

Double Trouble!

Mute Swan

F/ 5.6, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Mute Swan 

What did the nose say to the finger?

Stop picking on me. 

Interesting Fact: The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Muddy Quack!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 450.

Northern Pintail Duck

What day do fish hate?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The Northern Pintail is among the earliest nesting ducks in North America, beginning shortly after ice-out in many northern areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

I Can Walk On Water!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Don’t Stick Your Nose Where It Doesn’t Belong

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Northern Pintail Duck

Father and son are talking over dinner in a nice restaurant.  A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”

“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Pintails migrate at night at speeds around 48 miles per hour. The longest nonstop flight recorded for a Northern Pintail was 1,800 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/

I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/overview )