Don’t Stick Your Nose Where It Doesn’t Belong

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Northern Pintail Duck

Father and son are talking over dinner in a nice restaurant.  A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”

“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Pintails migrate at night at speeds around 48 miles per hour. The longest nonstop flight recorded for a Northern Pintail was 1,800 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/

I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/overview )

Swan Lake Ballet ( On Ice )

mute-swan-on-ice

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 640.

Mute Swan

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her

armpits.

Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, “Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me.”

The bartender replies, “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”

“Because,” answers the drunken man, “any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.”

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Snow Way You’ve Got To Be Flaking Me!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

Why was the snowman sad?

Cause he had a meltdown.

Interesting Fact: Male Mute Swans select the nest site and may start several nests before the female accepts the location. Nest sites are safe from flooding yet offer easy access to water, with ample nesting materials and food nearby–often on a small peninsula, along a heavily vegetated shoreline, or on a small to medium-sized island.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Together We Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

Fly Above The Negativity!

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 500.

Great Blue Heron 

Why was Frosty told to leave the grocery store?

Because he was caught picking his nose in the produce isle.

Interesting Fact: Despite their impressive size, Great Blue Herons weigh only 5 to 6 pounds thanks in part to their hollow bones—a feature all birds share.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/overview )

 

I’m Chillin’

F/7.1, 1/1600, ISO 640.

Mute Swan ice

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

Interesting Fact: Before or during landing at a breeding site they’ll slap the water with their feet to announce their arrival and alert potential intruders. If another swan approaches members of the pair raise their wings and tuck their neck in a “busking” display to warn them off. Territorial defenses sometimes escalate to fights between males that can end with the dominant bird pushing its rival underwater. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

 

 

A Little Mud Never Hurt Anyone!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Northern Pintail Ducks

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?

We have to stick together.

Interesting Fact: Males and females also lift their chins to greet each other and sometimes tip their chins when threatened. Pairs form on the wintering grounds, but males often mate with other females on the breeding grounds, and pairs only stay together for a single breeding season. Courting males stretch their necks up and tip their bills down while giving a whistle call. Males also preen behind their wing to expose the green speculum. Interested females follow males with head bobbing, preening, and clucking. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

 

 

 

 

I Spread My Wings And I Fly!

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 640.

Great Blue Heron 

Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?

It improved DiVision !

Interesting Fact:  In flight the Great Blue Heron folds it neck into an “S” shape and trails its long legs behind, dangling them as it prepares to land or when courting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Steady As She Goes!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck

What did the salad say to the fridge?

Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Interesting Fact: Seemingly at home on land and water, Northern Pintails waddle through fields and swim gracefully with the tail pointed upwards. They erupt in flight from the water’s surface at a moment’s notice, wheeling and darting through the air on their slender wings.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )