Life Is More Fun When You Open Your Mouth!

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Green Heron

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because it has a silent pee.

Interesting Fact: The male selects a secluded site within his territory, usually in a large fork of a tree or bush, with overhanging branches to conceal the nest. Green Herons use many plant species as nest sites pines, oaks, willows, box elder, cedar, honey locust, hickory, sassafrass, and mangroves. The nest is usually on or over the water, but may be up to a half-mile away. It may be anywhere from ground level to 30 feet off the ground (occasionally higher). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

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Just Because I’m Awake Doesn’t Mean I’m Ready To Do Things.

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Tricolored Heron ( Juvenile )

What is a bee that cant make up his mind?

A maybe.

Interesting Fact: Angsty teenagers aren’t just a human phenomenon. As Tricolored Herons get older they often lunge and snap at their parents when they arrive at the nest with food. To appease the youngsters, parents greet them with bows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tricolored_Heron/overview )

A Top Of The Tree To You

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Great Blue Heron

A neutron walks into a bar and says,

“I’d like a beer. How much will that be?”

The bartender responds,

“For you? No charge!”

Interesting Fact:  Great Blue Herons congregate at fish hatcheries, creating potential problems for the fish farmers. A study found that herons ate mostly diseased fish that would have died shortly anyway. Sick fish spent more time near the surface of the water where they were more vulnerable to the herons.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

If You Dare Come A Little Closer!

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Black-crowned Night-Heron

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

“You’re too young to smoke.”

 Interesting Fact: Some populations stay in one place year-round, while others disperse short distances of 5–60 miles. Others migrate farther, such as from Massachusetts to Florida and the Caribbean, or from Alberta to Mexico and Cuba. Migrants follow the coast or the Mississippi River flyway. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )

Great Ideas Need Landing Gear As Well As Wings.

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Great Blue Heron

Why did the chicken disappoint his mother.

He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be!

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons eat nearly anything within striking distance, including fish, amphibians, reptiles, small mammals, insects, and other birds. They grab smaller prey in their strong mandibles or use their dagger-like bills to impale larger fish, often shaking them to break or relax the sharp spines before gulping them down. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Empty Nest? Celebrate it! You Are Now Free As A Bird!

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Great Blue Heron

Why did the policeman smell bad?

He was on duty.

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons nest mainly in trees, but will also nest on the ground, on bushes, in mangroves, and on structures such as duck blinds, channel markers, or artificial nest platforms. Males arrive at the colony and settle on nest sites; from there, they court passing females. Colonies can consist of 500 or more individual nests, with multiple nests per tree built 100 or more feet off the ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

GERONIMO!

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Great Blue Heron

A magician was performing on cruise ship and each night while performing his pet parrot keeps saying:

“its up his sleeve”

” its in his pocket”.

“its in his shoe”.

“in his pants”.

Etc. and the magician was loosing his patience. one night while performing his tricks the ships boilers blew and the ship sank, the lucky magician was able to grab onto a ships table and float on the sea for a few days. the parrot in the mean time seemed non plussed and was looking quizzically at the magician for a few days whilst drifting. On the 4th day the parrots looks at his master and says:

“I give up… what did you do with the ship?”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons have specialized feathers on their chest that continually grow and fray. The herons comb this “powder down” with a fringed claw on their middle toes, using the down like a washcloth to remove fish slime and other oils from their feathers as they preen. Applying the powder to their underparts protects their feathers against the slime and oils of swamps. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Don’t Stick Your Beak Where It Doesn’t Belong!

F/6.3, 1/6, ISO 100.

Great Blue Heron

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons generally move away from the northern edge of their breeding range in winter, with some flying as far south as the Caribbean. Populations in the Pacific Northwest and south Florida are present year-round.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/maps-range )

 

 

Look Into My Eyes And Jump Into My Mouth… Fish!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

At the BP station!

Interesting Fact: Both the male and female brood and feed the chicks, which may stay with their parents for more than a month after leaving the nest, as they learn to forage. Green Herons protect their feeding areas by driving away other species, such as American Coots, that approach too closely. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )