A man walks into a bar where the only other occupant is a seal.
he orders a beer and hears the seal say “I like your tie.” confused the man ignores the seal.
But every few minutes the seal calls out another complement.
When the bartender comes the man asks “what’s with the mammal?”
to that the bartender replies “oh that is our seal of approval”
Interesting Fact: These pinnipeds live along the rocky Pacific Ocean coastlines of western North America. Huge colonies can be seen gathered on seaside rocks, and even on man-made structures, for breeding and for birthing. Males gather harems of females to their sides in competition to sire young pups, which are born on land. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )
Interesting Fact: The male chooses a nest site in a tree or in cattails—usually in a habitat safe from predators such as on an island, in a swamp, or over water—and then advertises for a female. Black-crowned Night-Herons nest colonially, often with a dozen nests in a single tree. Colonies sometimes last for 50 years or more. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )
What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home?
Where on Earth have you been?
Interesting Fact: The sea lion’s ancient ancestors, like those of whales and dolphins, lived on land. The modern animal is well adapted to an aquatic environment, with its streamlined body and powerful flippers. (The rear flippers rotate forward to allow a California sea lion to move surprisingly well on land.) California sea lions also boast thick layers of blubber to insulate their bodies from the chill of marine waters. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Interesting Fact: The closely related Peruvian Pelican lives along the Pacific Coast of South America from southern Ecuador to Chile. It’s a little larger than a Brown Pelican, with fine white streaking on its underparts and a blue pouch in the breeding season. These two species are the only pelicans that plunge-dive for their food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican/lifehistory )
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
“You’re too young to smoke.”
Interesting Fact: Some populations stay in one place year-round, while others disperse short distances of 5–60 miles. Others migrate farther, such as from Massachusetts to Florida and the Caribbean, or from Alberta to Mexico and Cuba. Migrants follow the coast or the Mississippi River flyway. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”!
Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here along time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
Man: “It’s been ten years!”
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.
Man: “Oh thank you so much!”
Girl: “So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?”
Man: “It’s been ten years” The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: “Oh. Thank you so much. You are like a miracle”!
Finally the girl starts to unzip the front of her wet suit and asks the man leadingly, “So tell me then, have you been bored?”
The man looked at her and said excitedly: “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’ve got a surfboard in there too?”
Interesting Fact: Western Grebes breed on freshwater lakes and marshes with extensive open water bordered by emergent vegetation. During winter they move to saltwater or brackish bays, estuaries, or sheltered sea coasts and are less frequently found on freshwater lakes or rivers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Grebe/lifehistory )
Interesting Fact: In many regions, the primary winter food of the Whimbrel is crab. The curve of the Whimbrel’s bill nicely matches the shape of fiddler crab burrows. The bird reaches into the crab’s burrow, extracts the crab, washes it if it is muddy, and sometimes breaks off the claws and legs before swallowing it. Indigestible parts are excreted in fecal pellets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Whimbrel/lifehistory )