We Get Frequent Flyer Points

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Brown Pelicans

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, and I’ll give these two a lift.

Interesting Fact: During a dive, the Brown Pelican tucks its head and rotates its body to the left. This maneuver is probably to cushion the trachea and esophagus—which are found on the right side of the neck—from the impact. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican )

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Cliffhanger!

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Green Heron

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

So he could tie the score.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Green Heron on record was at least 7 years, 11 months old when it was found in Mexico in 1979. It had been banded in Oklahoma in 1971. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron )

Fish Tremble When They Hear My Name!

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Green Heron

When do zombies go to sleep?

When they are dead tired.

Interesting Fact:  Green Herons eat mainly small fish such as minnows, sunfish, catfish, pickerel, carp, perch, gobies, shad, silverside, eels, and goldfish. They also feeds on insects, spiders, crustaceans, snails, amphibians, reptiles, and rodents. They hunt by standing still at the water’s edge, in vegetation, or by walking slowly in shallow water. When a fish approaches, the heron lunges and darts its head, grasping (or sometimes spearing) the fish with its heavy bill. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Fly By!

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Great Egret

Bobby went in to a pet shop.

Bobby: “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The Sales Guy: “Do you want an aquarium?”

Bobby: “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known Great Egret was 22 years, 10 months old and was banded in Ohio. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret )

Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

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Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good!

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Black-crowned Night-Heron

Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! “

Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”

Interesting Fact: Black-crowned Night Heron nest in groups that often include other species, including herons, egrets, and ibises. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron )

Peek A Boo!

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Green Heron

Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!

Interesting Fact: Green Herons usually hunt by wading in shallow water, but occasionally they dive for deep-water prey and need to swim back to shore—probably with help from the webs between their middle and outer toes. One juvenile heron was seen swimming gracefully for more than 60 feet, sitting upright “like a little swan,” according to one observer. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I Think We Have A Problem!

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Snowy Egret

When is a door sweet and tasty?

When its jammed!

Interesting Fact: The male starts working on a nest before finding a mate. Then the female takes over and ends up doing most of the nest building, with materials supplied by the male. The nest is a shallow oval of loosely woven twigs, small sticks, grasses, sedges, rushes, and Spanish moss, about 14–18 inches across and 8–13 inches high. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

When Nothing Goes Right Just Go Fishing!

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Green Heron

What is the difference between a cat and a dog?

Dogs think, “Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods.”

Cats think, “Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God.”

Interesting Fact: The Green Heron is part of a complex of small herons that sometimes are considered one species. When lumped, they are called Green-backed Heron. When split, they are the Green Heron, the widespread Striated Heron, and the Galapagos Heron. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

A Top Of The Tree To You

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Great Blue Heron

A neutron walks into a bar and says,

“I’d like a beer. How much will that be?”

The bartender responds,

“For you? No charge!”

Interesting Fact:  Great Blue Herons congregate at fish hatcheries, creating potential problems for the fish farmers. A study found that herons ate mostly diseased fish that would have died shortly anyway. Sick fish spent more time near the surface of the water where they were more vulnerable to the herons.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )