A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”!
Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here along time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
Man: “It’s been ten years!”
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.
Man: “Oh thank you so much!”
Girl: “So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?”
Man: “It’s been ten years” The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: “Oh. Thank you so much. You are like a miracle”!
Finally the girl starts to unzip the front of her wet suit and asks the man leadingly, “So tell me then, have you been bored?”
The man looked at her and said excitedly: “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’ve got a surfboard in there too?”
Interesting Fact: Western Grebes breed on freshwater lakes and marshes with extensive open water bordered by emergent vegetation. During winter they move to saltwater or brackish bays, estuaries, or sheltered sea coasts and are less frequently found on freshwater lakes or rivers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Grebe/lifehistory )
Interesting Fact: In many regions, the primary winter food of the Whimbrel is crab. The curve of the Whimbrel’s bill nicely matches the shape of fiddler crab burrows. The bird reaches into the crab’s burrow, extracts the crab, washes it if it is muddy, and sometimes breaks off the claws and legs before swallowing it. Indigestible parts are excreted in fecal pellets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Whimbrel/lifehistory )
Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Some Sanderlings travel as few as 1,800 miles to coastal New England, while others fly more than 6,000 miles to temperate South America. Even individuals that winter on the same beach can take different migration routes and may end up on different breeding grounds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sanderling/lifehistory )
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
“You’re too young to smoke.”
Interesting Fact: Some populations stay in one place year-round, while others disperse short distances of 5–60 miles. Others migrate farther, such as from Massachusetts to Florida and the Caribbean, or from Alberta to Mexico and Cuba. Migrants follow the coast or the Mississippi River flyway. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Interesting Fact: The closely related Peruvian Pelican lives along the Pacific Coast of South America from southern Ecuador to Chile. It’s a little larger than a Brown Pelican, with fine white streaking on its underparts and a blue pouch in the breeding season. These two species are the only pelicans that plunge-dive for their food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican/lifehistory )
Interesting Fact: These pinnipeds live along the rocky Pacific Ocean coastlines of western North America. Huge colonies can be seen gathered on seaside rocks, and even on man-made structures, for breeding and for birthing. Males gather harems of females to their sides in competition to sire young pups, which are born on land. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )
Interesting Fact: The familiar evening sight and sound of the Black-crowned Night-Heron was captured in this description from Arthur Bent’s Life Histories of North American Marsh Birds: “How often, in the gathering dusk of evening, have we heard its loud, choking squawk and, looking up, have seen its stocky form, dimly outlined against the gray sky and propelled by steady wing beats, as it wings its way high in the air toward its evening feeding place in some distant pond or marsh!” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )
Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons congregate at fish hatcheries, creating potential problems for the fish farmers. A study found that herons ate mostly diseased fish that would have died shortly anyway. Sick fish spent more time near the surface of the water where they were more vulnerable to the herons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )