Hey Autocorrect! Quit Tampering With My Curse Words, You Mother Forklift!

F/5.6, 1/100, ISO 640.

Bananaquit

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?

It got pissed off.

Interesting Fact: The bananaquit is known for its ability to adjust remarkably to human environments. It often visits gardens and may become very tame. Its nickname, the sugar bird, comes from its affinity for bowls or bird feeders stocked with granular sugar, a common method of attracting these birds.[19] The bananaquit builds a spherical lined nest with a side entrance hole, laying up to three eggs, which are incubated solely by the female.[4] It may also build its nest in human-made objects, such as lampshades and garden trellises. The birds breed all year regardless of season and build new nests throughout the year. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaquit )

 

 

It Seems To Me The Vultures Have Stopped Circling.

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 400.

Turkey Vultures

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. Often, especially in the morning, they can be seen standing erect, wings spread in the sun, presumably to warm up, cool off, or dry off. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word, Mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Northern Mockingbird

Why shouldn’t you fart in an Apple Store?

They don’t have Windows.

Interesting Fact: Northern mockingbirds tend to imitate other birds and sounds they hear.  This bird is very territorial and will not hesitate to attack intruders.  ( https://americanexpedition.us/northern-mockingbird-facts-photos-and-information )

A Little Mud Never Hurt Anyone!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Northern Pintail Ducks

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?

We have to stick together.

Interesting Fact: Males and females also lift their chins to greet each other and sometimes tip their chins when threatened. Pairs form on the wintering grounds, but males often mate with other females on the breeding grounds, and pairs only stay together for a single breeding season. Courting males stretch their necks up and tip their bills down while giving a whistle call. Males also preen behind their wing to expose the green speculum. Interested females follow males with head bobbing, preening, and clucking. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

 

 

 

 

Steady As She Goes!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck

What did the salad say to the fridge?

Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Interesting Fact: Seemingly at home on land and water, Northern Pintails waddle through fields and swim gracefully with the tail pointed upwards. They erupt in flight from the water’s surface at a moment’s notice, wheeling and darting through the air on their slender wings.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

 

 

 

I Think I’m In Love. No Wait, I Was Just Hungry.

F/11.0,1/500, ISO 800.

Bananaquit

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

“Yamahahaha”

Interesting Fact: The bananaquit has a slender, curved bill, adapted to taking nectar from flowers. It sometimes pierces flowers from the side, taking the nectar without pollinating the plant.[18] It also feeds on sweet juices by puncturing fruit with its beak, and will eat small insects on occasion. While feeding, the bananaquit must always perch as it cannot hover like a hummingbird. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaquit )

Hey Go Nuts Today!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Eastern Gray Squirrel

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.

 

Interesting Fact: Squirrels are extremely intelligent creatures. They are known to put on elaborate bogus food burying displays to deceive onlookers. The fake burials are to trick potential thieves, such as other squirrels or birds, into thinking that they have stored their food stock there. Any observers planning on taking the stash will then focus on the bogus burial site, allowing the squirrel to bury the real stash elsewhere safely ( http://www.onekind.org/be_inspired/animals_a_z/squirrel/ )

 

I’ll Eat You Up I Love You So!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Bananaquit

What did the guitar say to the guitarist?

Pick on someone your own size!

Interesting Fact: Bananaquits build nests with side entrance holes. Several nests may be built, with some used only as sleeping quarters. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1014/overview/Bananaquit.aspx )

It’s My Honey, And I Want It Now!

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 500.

Bumble Bee

What do you call a bee born in May?

A maybe!

Interesting Fact: Unlike the honeybee, bumblebees will not die after stinging. They can sting as much as they want. Luckily, they are not aggressive and they will sting only in self defense. ( http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/bumblebee_facts/582/ )

I’m On A Seafood Diet. I See Food, I Eat It.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Mammals make up the bulk of most Red-tailed Hawk meals. Frequent victims include voles, mice, wood rats, rabbits, snowshoe hares, jackrabbits, and ground squirrels. The hawks also eat birds, including pheasants, bobwhite, starlings, and blackbirds; as well as snakes and carrion. Individual prey items can weigh anywhere from less than an ounce to more than 5 pounds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory  )