Here I Sit Broken Hearted Tried To Poop But Only Farted

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

Why did Bob throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

Interesting Fact: Yellow-rumped Warblers flit through the canopies of coniferous trees as they forage. They cling to the bark surface to look for hidden insects more than many warblers do, but they also frequently sit on exposed branches and catch passing insects like a flycatcher does. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

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Goodmooning!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 640.

Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )

The Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Not Wasted Time!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: Though the Palm Warbler’s name might imply it is a tropical bird, it’s actually one of the northernmost breeding of all warblers (only the Blackpoll Warbler breeds farther north). They got their name from J. P. Gmelin who named them based on a specimen collected on Hispaniola, a Caribbean island with a lot of palm trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler )

Keep Calm And Quack On!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

A motorist in a B.M.W. was driving through the countryside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, having a lovely time, when he came to an area of the road that was covered with a rather large puddle of water from a previous rain storm. Worried that he was going to damage the car and its engine in the deep water, he spotted a nearby farmer and asked how deep the water was. “Arr”, said the local farmer “That water only be a few inches deep!” Relieved, the motorist edged his car into the water, expecting to come out the other side in no time. Instead, as he drove in, the water came right up the side of the car, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Sitting there in his soaking wet luxury car, the motorist yelled at the local angrily: “I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!” “Well,” replied the local farmer “It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!”

Interesting Fact: It prefers salt water more than the other two species of merganser. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/115/overview/Red-breasted_Merganser.aspx )

It’s Good To Be The King

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Belted Kingfisher

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Belted Kingfishers excavate burrows in earthen banks, usually avoiding ones with vegetation (especially trees, whose roots get in the way of digging). They generally choose a bank near water, but may use a ditch, road cut, landfill, sand pit, or gravel pit far from water. A pair may select a nest site during courtship, usually high in the bank where floodwaters are unlikely to reach. The male probes the bank with his bill, flying back and forth to the female, who calls continuously from a nearby perch. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher/lifehistory )

Chillin’ Like A Villain!

F/8.0, 1/250. ISO 1000.

Bold Eagle

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles nest in trees except in regions where only cliff faces or ground sites are available. They tend to use tall, sturdy conifers that protrude above the forest canopy, providing easy flight access and good visibility. In southern parts of their range, Bald Eagles may nest in deciduous trees, mangroves, and cactus. It’s unknown whether the male or the female takes the lead in selecting a nest site. Nests are typically built near the trunk, high up in the tree but below the crown (unlike Osprey nests). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

Don’t Give Me That Look!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Double-crested Cormorant

What did the sick chicken say?

Oh no! I have the people-pox!

Interesting Fact: From a distance, Double-crested Cormorants are dark birds with snaky necks, but up-close they’re quite colorful—with orange-yellow skin on their face and throat, striking aquamarine eyes that sparkle like jewels, and a mouth that is bright blue on the inside. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Ask Me Why I’m Angry?!

American Goldfinch

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

American Goldfinch

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied.

So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”

“Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

Interesting Fact: American Goldfinches are the only finch that molts its body feathers twice a year, once in late winter and again in late summer. The brightening yellow of male goldfinches each spring is one welcome mark of approaching warm months. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch/lifehistory )

Wish You Were Here, With A Beer!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 100.

Punta Cana Domincan Republic Beach 

What did the beach says as the tide came in?

Long time no sea

Interesting Fact: Punta Cana features a tropical wet and dry climate under the Köppen climate classification. The weather is fairly consistent all year, with an average temperature of 26 °C (79 °F). The hot and humid season lasts from May to October, and during the day temperatures might reach 35 °C (95 °F). From November to March, temperatures during the evening are around 20 °C (68 °F). Very little rain falls around the area, primarily because of the mostly flat landscape, a combination of savanna and mountains.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punta_Cana

I Don’t Stalk. I Investigate!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Black-and-white Warbler 

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: The Black-and-white Warbler is the only member of the genus Mniotilta. The genus name means “moss-plucking,” a reference to its habit of probing bark and moss for insects.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-and-white_Warbler )