That Moment That You Realize It Wasn’t A Fart!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 400.

White-cheeked pintail

When is a door sweet and tasty?

When its jammed!

Interesting Fact: The white-cheeked pintail feeds on aquatic plants and small creatures obtained by dabbling. The nest is on the ground under vegetation and near water. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-cheeked_pintail )

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It’s My Honey, And I Want It Now!

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 500.

Bumble Bee

What do you call a bee born in May?

A maybe!

Interesting Fact: Unlike the honeybee, bumblebees will not die after stinging. They can sting as much as they want. Luckily, they are not aggressive and they will sting only in self defense. ( http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/bumblebee_facts/582/ )

I Claim This Branch!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 200.

Eastern Phoebe 

Why can’t you take a nap during a race?

Because if you snooze, you loose!

Interesting Fact: The Eastern Phoebe is a loner, rarely coming in contact with other phoebes. Even members of a mated pair do not spend much time together. They may roost together early in pair formation, but even during egg laying the female frequently chases the male away from her. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Phoebe/lifehistory )

Holy Smokes Batman Your Zipper Is Down!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

American Robin

What happens when Batman and Robin fight a steamroller?

They become Flatman and Ribbon.

Interesting Fact: Although robins are considered harbingers of spring, many American Robins spend the whole winter in their breeding range. But because they spend more time roosting in trees and less time in your yard, you’re much less likely to see them. The number of robins present in the northern parts of the range varies each year with the local conditions. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Robin/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Win An Argument, Correct Their Grammar Instead.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Nurse: “The invisible man is here for his appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t see him right now.”

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows nest in natural cavities of standing dead trees, old woodpecker cavities, or nest boxes. On occasion they nest in hollow stumps, building eaves, Wood Duck nest boxes, holes in the ground, old Cliff Swallow burrows, or other unconventional sites.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

The Deeper You Look The Better The Treasure.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 500.

Yellow Warbler

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

“Odor in the court!”

Interesting Fact: Yellow Warblers build their nests in the vertical fork of a bush or small tree such as willow, hawthorn, raspberry, white cedar, dogwood, and honeysuckle. The nest is typically within about 10 feet of the ground but occasionally up to about 40 feet.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow_Warbler/lifehistory )

I Have A Audition For A Zebra.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Black-and-white Warbler 

Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit!

Interesting Fact: The female Black-and-white Warbler selects a well-hidden nesting location at the base of a tree, rock, stump, or fallen log, or under a bush or shrub. Nests are usually built on the ground but occasionally are placed in a cavity atop a tree stump, in a rock crevice, or on a mossy bank up to six feet high. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-and-white_Warbler/lifehistory )

You Taste Like Sunshine!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 400.

American Goldfinch ( Breeding Female )

What did the banana say to the doctor?

“I’m not peeling well.”

Interesting Fact: Male and female move around together to choose a suitable nest site. The female builds the nest, usually in a shrub or sapling in a fairly open setting rather than in forest interior. The nest is often built high in a shrub, where two or three vertical branches join; usually shaded by clusters of leaves or needles from above, but often open and visible from below. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch/lifehistory )

Here I Sit Broken Hearted Tried To Poop But Only Farted

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

Why did Bob throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

Interesting Fact: Yellow-rumped Warblers flit through the canopies of coniferous trees as they forage. They cling to the bark surface to look for hidden insects more than many warblers do, but they also frequently sit on exposed branches and catch passing insects like a flycatcher does. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

Goodmooning!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 640.

Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )