Please Keep Off The Grass!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Northern Flicker

What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

Interesting Fact: The red-shafted and yellow-shafted forms of the Northern Flicker formerly were considered different species. The two forms hybridize extensively in a wide zone from Alaska to the panhandle of Texas. A hybrid often has some traits from each of the two forms and some traits that are intermediate between them. The Red-shafted Flicker also hybridizes with the Gilded Flicker, but less frequently. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker )

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When I Am Knocking, You Better Open Up!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.

He charged one and let the other one off.

Interesting Fact: A Red-bellied Woodpecker can stick out its tongue nearly 2 inches past the end of its beak. The tip is barbed and the bird’s spit is sticky, making it easier to snatch prey from deep crevices. Males have longer, wider-tipped tongues than females, possibly allowing a breeding pair to forage in slightly different places on their territory and maximize their use of available food.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

When Your Past Calls Don’t Answer. It Has Noting New To Say.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Northern Flicker

What do you call a bear with no socks on?

Bare-foot.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers generally nest in holes in trees like other woodpeckers. Occasionally, they’ve been found nesting in old, earthen burrows vacated by Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker )

Don’t Let Anyone Bring You Down. Make Today The Best Day Of Your Life.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Northern Flicker

Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat what ever bugs them.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers generally nest in holes in trees like other woodpeckers. Occasionally, they’ve been found nesting in old, earthen burrows vacated by Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/overview )

I Peck You!

F/9.0, 1/200, ISO 160.

Hairy Woodpecker

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: Hairy Woodpeckers sometimes drink sap leaking from wells in the bark made by sapsuckers. They’ve also been seen pecking into sugar cane to drink the sugary juice. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hairy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Headbanger!

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 320.

Pileated Woodpecker

Two men visit a prostitute.

The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “Heck. My wife is better than that.”

The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “You know? Your wife IS better.”

Interesting Fact: The Pileated Woodpecker prefers large trees for nesting. In young forests, it will use any large trees remaining from before the forest was cut. Because these trees are larger than the rest of the forest, they present a lightning hazard to the nesting birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker  )

Who Dyd Your Hair!

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Keep Looking Up Thats The Secret Of Life!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Dentist: This will hurt a little.

Patient: OK.

Dentist: I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

If Opportunity Doesn’t Knock Build A Door

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Hairy Woodpecker

A drunk appears in front of a judge.

The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”

The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started!”

Interesting Fact: Across North America the Hairy Woodpecker can be found from sea level to high in the mountains. In Central America, it is restricted to higher mountain forests. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hairy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )