You Just Been Mooned, Now Go Moon Someone Else!

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Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules

Why wasn’t the moon hungry?

Because it was full!

Interesting Fact: The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the earth’s rotation of 1000 miles per hour. ( http://www.moonconnection.com/moon_facts.phtml )

 

Life Is So Much Easier When You Just Chill Out.

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Carolina Wren

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just #$&#*&^# beautiful!

Interesting Fact: One captive male Carolina Wren sang nearly 3,000 times in a single day. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

Life Begins At Night.

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Newport, RI

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Newport was founded in 1639 on Aquidneck Island, which was called Rhode Island at the time. Its eight founders and first officers were Nicholas Easton, William Coddington, John Clarke, John Coggeshall, William Brenton, Jeremy Clark, Thomas Hazard, and Henry Bull. Many of these people had been part of the settlement at Portsmouth, along with Anne Hutchinson and her followers. They separated within a year of that settlement, however, and Coddington and others began the settlement of Newport on the southern side of the island.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport,_Rhode_Island )

Bring On The Night!

jersey-city-downtown-park

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Newport Green Park Downtown Jersey City

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of
the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, Pepsi, and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly, asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of this story: Even when the man is listening, he’s still gonna get it wrong.

Interesting Fact: Newport is a 600-acre (2.4 km2) master-planned, mixed-use community in Downtown Jersey City, New Jersey, United States, consisting of retail, residential, office, and entertainment facilities. The neighborhood is situated on the Hudson Waterfront opposite the Tribeca area of Lower Manhattan in New York City, on what had been the yards of Erie Railroad‘s Pavonia Terminal. Redevelopment of the neighborhood began in 1986 as a $10 billion project led by real-estate tycoon Samuel J. LeFrak and his firm The LeFrak Organization.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport,_Jersey_City )

 

 

Happy New Year! Here’s To Having A Fresh Start At Binge Eating, Boozing, And Slacking Off!

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What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?

That your parents started the new year with a BANG!

Interesting Fact: During the Middle Ages in Western Europe, while the Julian calendar was still in use, authorities moved New Year’s Day, depending upon locale, to one of several other days, including March 1, March 25, Easter, September 1, and December 25. Beginning in 1582, the adoptions of the Gregorian calendar has meant that many national or local dates in the Western World and beyond have changed to using one fixed date for New Year’s Day, January 1. ( New Year – Wikipedia )

When You Stop Beliving In Santa You Get Underwear

Merry Christmas And Happy Holidays To All

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Interesting Fact:  The first known electrically illuminated Christmas tree was the creation of Edward H. Johnson, an associate of inventor Thomas Edison. While he was vice president of the Edison Electric Light Company, a predecessor of today’s Con Edison electric utility, he had Christmas tree light bulbs especially made for him. He proudly displayed his Christmas tree, which was hand-wired with 80 red, white and blue electric incandescent light bulbs the size of walnuts, on December 22, 1882 at his home on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Local newspapers ignored the story, seeing it as a publicity stunt. However, it was published by a Detroit newspaper reporter, and Johnson has become widely regarded as the Father of Electric Christmas Tree Lights. By 1900, businesses started stringing up Christmas lights behind their windows.[14] Christmas lights were too expensive for the average person; as such, electric Christmas lights did not become the majority replacement for candles until 1930. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_lights#History )

Build A Bridge And Get Over It!

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Golden Gate Bridge

Why did a boy build a bridge across the river?

So he could have shade when he swam across.

Interesting Fact: The Golden Gate Bridge is a suspension bridge spanning the Golden Gate, the one-mile-wide (1.6 km) strait connecting San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean. The structure links the American city of San Francisco, California – the northern tip of the San Francisco Peninsula – to Marin County, carrying both U.S. Route 101 and California State Route 1 across the strait. The bridge is one of the most internationally recognized symbols of San Francisco, California, and the United States. It has been declared one of the Wonders of the Modern World by the American Society of Civil Engineers. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gate_Bridge

Just Give Me The Lights!

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East River, Manhattan, Brooklyn Bridge.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider?

You spend too much time on the web.

Interesting Fact:  The area that is now Manhattan was long inhabited by the LenapeNative Americans. In 1524, Florentine explorer Giovanni da Verrazzano â€“ sailing in service of King Francis I of France â€“ became the first documented European to visit the area that would become New York City. He entered the tidal strait now known as The Narrows and named the land around Upper New York HarborNew Angoulême, in reference to the family name of King Francis I that was derived from Angoulême in France; he sailed far enough into the harbor to sight the Hudson River, which he referred to in his report to the French king as a “very big river”; and he named the Bay of Santa Margarita – what is now Upper New York Bay – after Marguerite de Navarre, the elder sister of the king. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattan )

NEVER FORGET

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New York City Skyline 9/11 Tribute

A Time To Remember Those Who Died, Those Who Served, And Those Who Carry On.

Interesting Fact: The Tribute in Light is an art installation of 88 vertical searchlights placed six blocks south of the World Trade Center on top of the Battery Parking Garage[1] in New York City which create two columns of light to represent the Twin Towers in remembrance of the September 11 attacks.[2]Tribute in Light began initially as a temporary commemoration of the attacks in early 2002 but became an annual commemoration, currently produced on September 11 by the Municipal Art Society of New York.[3][4][5] The Tribute in Light was conceived by artists John Bennett, Gustavo Boneverdi, Richard Nash Gould, Julian LaVerdiere, and Paul Myoda, and lighting consultant Paul Marantz. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribute_in_Light )

 

 

 

Don’t Play Dead With A Vulture. That’s Exactly What They Want.

turkey-vulture

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Turkey Vulture

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.”

Interesting Fact: Turkey Vultures, like other carrion birds, are protected from disease associated with decaying animals by a very sophisticated immune system. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/117/overview/Turkey_Vulture.aspx )