Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

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Ehh, What’s Up Duck?

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Mallard 

Why did the duck cross the road?

Because there was a quack in the sidewalk. 

Interesting Fact:  Ducks have webbed feet, which they use for paddling beneath the water. Their feet have no nerves or blood vessels, which mean that they won’t feel chill from swimming in icy water. ( https://americanexpedition.us/mallard-duck-information-facts-photos-and-artwork )

Quack Addict

hooded-mergansers-female

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Hooded Merganser ( Female )

What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?

His Quackpack

Interesting Fact: The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

 

What The Duck?

bufflehead

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Bufflehead Duck

Two ducks are in a pond.

One went “Quack quack!”

And the other duck said “That’s funny I was just about to say that!”

Interesting Fact: The Bufflehead nests almost exclusively in holes excavated by Northern Flickers and, on occasion, by Pileated Woodpeckers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

Todays Post Has Been Brought To You By The Letter “S”.

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Great Egret

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits!

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

Double Trouble!

Mute Swan

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Mute Swan 

What did the nose say to the finger?

Stop picking on me. 

Interesting Fact: The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Well I’m going down, down, down, down, down, down.

mallard-landing

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Mallard  

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

Interesting Fact:  The Mallard is the ancestor of nearly all domestic duck breeds (everything except the Muscovy Duck). Domestic ducks can be common in city ponds and can be confusing to identify—they may lack the white neck ring, show white on the chest, be all dark, or show oddly shaped crests on the head. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

I Have A Leg Up On You

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Greater Yellowlegs

Ghosts are hard to impress.

They boo everything.

Interesting Fact: Their breeding habitat is bogs and marshes in the boreal forest region of Canada and Alaska. They nest on the ground, usually in well-hidden locations near water. The three to four eggs average 50 mm (2.0 in) in length and 33 mm (1.3 in) in breadth and weigh about 28 g (0.99 oz). The incubation period is 23 days. The young leave the nest within 24 hours of hatching and then leave the vicinity of the nest within two days.( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

Life Begins At Night

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New York State Capitol

What do you call a man with no nose and no body?

Nobody nose.

Interesting Fact: Legislative sessions had been held at different buildings in different places before Albany was declared the State capital in 1797. From that time until 1811, the State Legislature met at the Old Albany City Hall. The first State Capitol was designed by Albany native Philip Hooker, started in 1804, inaugurated in 1812 and remained in use until 1879 when the current building was inaugurated.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_State_Capitol )

Life Always Offers You A Second Chance. It’s Called Tomorrow.

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Greater Yellowlegs

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then you will get 7 years of bad luck! 

Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)

Interesting Fact: These birds forage in shallow water, sometimes using their bills to stir up the water. They mainly eat insects and small fish, as well as crustaceans and marine worms. It often walks in sand or mud and leaves clear tracks; it can be possible to gather information about this species using its tracks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )