Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

When you are with the right person, every day is Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentines Day

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Mute Swan

What’s the best part about Valentines Day?

The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

Interesting Fact:  The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Swim At Your Own Risk

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Mute Swan

Why did the teacher jump into the water?

She wanted to test the water!

Interesting Fact: The black knob at the base of the male Mute Swan’s bill swells during the breeding season and becomes noticeably larger than the female’s. The rest of the year the difference between the sexes is not obvious.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Double Trouble!

Mute Swan

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Mute Swan 

What did the nose say to the finger?

Stop picking on me. 

Interesting Fact: The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Swan Lake Ballet ( On Ice )

mute-swan-on-ice

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Mute Swan

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her

armpits.

Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, “Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me.”

The bartender replies, “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”

“Because,” answers the drunken man, “any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.”

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Snow Way You’ve Got To Be Flaking Me!

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Mute Swan

Why was the snowman sad?

Cause he had a meltdown.

Interesting Fact: Male Mute Swans select the nest site and may start several nests before the female accepts the location. Nest sites are safe from flooding yet offer easy access to water, with ample nesting materials and food nearby–often on a small peninsula, along a heavily vegetated shoreline, or on a small to medium-sized island.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

 

 

 

I Don’t Like Green Eggs And Ham! I Do Not Like Them, Sam I Am!

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Mute Swans

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet.

Interesting Fact: The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

The Darkness That Surrounds Us Cannot Hurt Us. It Is The Darkness In Your Own Heart You Should Fear.

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Mute Swan

Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?

Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.

Interesting Fact: Short legs placed well back on the body give Mute Swans an awkward walking gait, but the birds can run quickly if pursued and can take off from land and water, flying with head and neck extended. On the water they sometimes hold their wings slightly raised and “sail” with the wind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Double Check!

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Mute Swan

What did the digital clock say to his mother?

Look ma, no hands!

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan )

I Just Love The Way I Feel, Hmmm.

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Mute Swan

What do clouds do when they become rich?

They make it rain!

Interesting Fact: Mute Swans form long-lasting pair bonds. Their reputation for monogamy along with their elegant white plumage has helped establish them as a symbol of love in many cultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )