Don’t Be Crabby…

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Atlantic Ghost Crabs

A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her.

But he was walking straight and not sideways! Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.

The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab!

She asked, “What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!”

He answered “What?! I can’t get that drunk every day!”.

Interesting Fact: Atlantic Ghost Crabs can hold oxygen in their air sacs for about six weeks. The crab has club-shaped eyestalks and it boasts of a 360° vision. This helps it see and catch insects that are even in mid-air.  ( http://www.animalspot.net/ghost-crab-sand-crab.html )

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I Used My Last “Chill-Pill” Yesturday. This Is Your ONLY Warning!

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Palmchat

What happened when you go inside with a snowsuit on?

It melts

Interesting Fact: The breeding season is mainly from March to June. The birds build large, messy, communal nests of twigs in the crowns of palms (mainly royal palms Roystonea sp.). Occasionally, in the absence of palms, other trees or even telephone poles, may be used. The whole nesting structure may be up to 2 m across, containing up to 30 adjoining nests with their own separate chambers and entrances. The females lay clutches of 2-4 thickly spotted, grey-purple eggs.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmchat )

When Butterflies Fall In Love, Do They Feel Humans In Their Stomach?

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Butterfly

What did the grape say when it was stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are insects in the macrolepidopteranclade Rhopalocera from the orderLepidoptera, which also includes moths. Adult butterflies have large, often brightly coloured wings, and conspicuous, fluttering flight. The group comprises the large superfamilyPapilionoidea, which contains at least one former group, the skippers (formerly the superfamily “Hesperioidea”) and the most recent analyses suggest it also contains the moth-butterflies (formerly the superfamily “Hedyloidea”). Butterfly fossils date to the Paleocene, which was about 56 million years ago.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

My Spirit Animals Is Grey Goose!

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Greylag goose

How do you make an egg-roll?

You push it!!!

Interesting Fact: Young greylags stay with their parents as a family group, migrating with them in a larger flock, and only dispersing when the adults drive them away from their newly established breeding territory the following year.[18] At least in Europe, patterns of migration are well understood and follow traditional routes with known staging sites and wintering sites. The young learn these locations from their parents which normally stay together for life.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greylag_goose#Behaviour )

Let Me Give You The Skinney

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Dragonfly

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?

An animal that talks your head off.

Interesting Fact: Old and unreliable claims are made that dragonflies such as the southern giant darner can fly up to 60 miles per hour (97 km/h).[50] However, the greatest reliable flight speed records are for other types of insects.[51] In general, large dragonflies like the hawkers have a maximum speed of 10–15 metres per second (22–34 mph) with average cruising speed of about 4.5 metres per second (10 mph).[52] Dragonflies can fly at 100 body-lengths per second, and three lengths per second backwards. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly#Flight )

Duuun-Dunn-Dunn-Duh-Duh-Duh-Nuh-Nuh-Nuh-Nuuh!!!

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Shark Week 

American Coot

Spiny Dogfish Shark

Why do sharks make terrible lawyers?

They’re too nice!

Interesting Fact: Although it swims like a duck, the American Coot does not have webbed feet like a duck. Instead, each one of the coot’s long toes has broad lobes of skin that help it kick through the water. The broad lobes fold back each time the bird lifts its foot, so it doesn’t impede walking on dry land, though it supports the bird’s weight on mucky ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot )

Sharks Aren’t The Bad Guys. If Some Stranger Entered My House In Just A SPEEDO, I Would Probably Attack Him Too.

Shark Week 

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Spiny Dogfish Shark

What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show?

Shark Trek

Interesting Fact: Spiny dogfish are bottom-dwellers. They are commonly found at depths of around 50–149 m (164–489 ft), but have been found deeper than 700 m (2,300 ft). ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiny_dogfish )

I Am Not Liable If You Falling Asleep Count Sheep!

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Sheep

What do you call a sheep that is always quiet?

A shhhheep!

Interesting Fact: The exact line of descent between domestic sheep and their wild ancestors is unclear.[1] The most common hypothesis states that Ovis aries is descended from the Asiatic (O. orientalis) species of mouflon.[2]:5 Sheep were among the first animals to be domesticated by humankind (although the domestication of dogs may be over 20,000 years earlier); the domestication date is estimated to fall between 11,000 and 9,000 B.C in Mesopotamia.[2]:4[3]:11–14[4]:2[5] The rearing of sheep for secondary products, and the resulting breed development, began in either southwest Asia or western Europe.[6] Initially, sheep were kept solely for meat, milk and skins. Archaeological evidence from statuary found at sites in Iran suggests that selection for woolly sheep may have begun around 6000 BC,[2]:5[3]:11 and the earliest woven wool garments have been dated to two to three thousand years later. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheep#History )

I Had A Very Unhappy Egghood…

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Helmeted guineafowl

Why was the man running around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

Interesting Fact: The helmeted guineafowl (Numida meleagris) is the best known of the guineafowl bird family, Numididae, and the only member of the genus Numida. It is native to Africa, mainly south of the Sahara, and has been widely introduced into the West Indies, Brazil, Australia and Europe (e.g. southern France).  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmeted_guineafowl )

His Feathers Didn’t Go Up, But They Have A Pill For That.

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Peafowl

Did you hear the story about the peacock?

It’s a beautiful tail.

Interesting Fact: Peafowl are forest birds that nest on the ground, but roost in trees. They are terrestrial feeders. All species of peafowl are believed to be polygamous. In common with other members of the Galliformes, the males possess metatarsal spurs or “thorns” on their legs used during intraspecific territorial fights with other members of their kind. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peafowl#Behaviour )