Hi I Exist!

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White-Tailed Deer

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

Nobody.

Interesting Fact: The conversion of land adjacent to the Canadian Rockies into agriculture use and partial clear-cutting of coniferous trees (resulting in widespread deciduous vegetation) has been favorable to the white-tailed deer and has pushed its distribution to as far north as Yukon. Populations of deer around the Great Lakes have also expanded their range northwards, due to conversion of land to agricultural uses favoring more deciduous vegetation, and local caribou and moose populations. The westernmost population of the species, known as the Columbian white-tailed deer, once was widespread in the mixed forests along the Willamette and Cowlitz River valleys of western Oregon and southwestern Washington, but today its numbers have been considerably reduced, and it is classified as near-threatened. This population is separated from other white-tailed deer populations. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_deer )

 

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Sometimes They Come Back Again!

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White-Tailed Deer

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter!

Interesting Fact: The fawn is also weaned by the time it loses its spots. By November the average whitetail male fawn will weigh close to 80 to 85 pounds, and the female fawn will weigh 75 to 80 pounds. As the spots disappear, the fawn’s coat also changes from its reddish color to a grayish winter coat. The buck fawn’s face grows a bit darker in color but the belly remains white. ( http://www.the-whitetail-deer.com/whitetail-deer-fawns.html )

 

Have You Seen My Nuts?

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Eastern Chipmunk

What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a handsomely dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire

Interesting Fact: It is mainly active during the day, spending most of its day foraging. It prefers bulbs, seeds, fruits, nuts, green plants, mushrooms, insects, worms, and bird eggs. Like other chipmunks, it transports food in pouches in its cheeks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )

 

 

Follow The Bunny He Has The Chocolate!

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Desert Cottontail Rabbit

How do you make a bandstand?

Take away their chairs!

Interesting Fact: Habitat loss due to land clearing and cattle grazing may severely affect the population of the desert cottontail.[12] Human-induced fires are also a potential threat for desert cottontail populations.[12] Another factor is its competition with the black-tailed jackrabbit (Lepus californicus), because both have the same diet, and share the same habitat.[24] When a season has been particularly dry, there is less plant life to go around. The cottontail does not fear the jackrabbit, in fact the jackrabbit is very skittish and will retreat from a confrontation in most instances. However, the black-tailed jackrabbit is much bigger, and consumes much more food at eating times. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_cottontail

BUCK YOU!

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White-Tailed Deer

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer

Interesting Fact: Males regrow their antlers every year. About one in 10,000 females also has antlers, although this is usually associated with freemartinism. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_deer

Pleeeease!

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Chipmunk

Why don’t chipmunks wear skinny jeans?

Because their nuts won’t fit.

Interesting Fact: Chipmunks generally gather food on the ground in areas with underbrush, rocks, and logs, where they can hide from predators like hawks, foxes, coyotes, weasels, and snakes. They feed on insects, nuts, berries, seeds, fruit, and grain which they stuff into their generous cheek pouches and carry to their burrow or nest to store. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/group/chipmunks/ )

Chip And Dale!

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Eastern chipmunks

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

Interesting Fact: It can climb trees well, but constructs underground nests with extensive tunnel systems, often with several entrances. To hide the construction of its burrow, the eastern chipmunk carries soil to a different location in its cheek pouches. It also lines the burrow with leaves, rocks, sticks, and other material, making it even harder to see. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )

 

Easter Is The Only Time Of The Year When It’s Perfectly Safe To Put All Your Eggs In One Basket.

Happy Easter Everyone! 

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Desert Cottontail Rabbit

What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?

It’s going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

Interesting Fact:  Many desert animals prey on cottontails, including birds of prey, mustelids, the coyote, the bobcat, the lynx, wolves, mountain lions, snakes, weasels, humans, and even squirrels, should a cottontail be injured or docile from illness.[22] Alien species, such as cats and dogs, are also known predators, and also pose a threat.[12] Southwestern Native Americans hunted them for meat but also used their fur and hides. It is also considered a game species, due to which it is hunted for sport.[12] The desert cottontail’s normal behavior upon spotting a potential predator is to freeze in place in an attempt to avoid being detected. If it determines that it is in danger, it will flee the area by hopping away in a zigzag pattern.[23] Cottontails can reach speeds of over 30 km/h (19 mph). When defending itself against small predators or other desert cottontails, it will nudge with its nose, or slap with its front paws, usually preceded by a hop straight upwards as high as two feet when threatened or taken by surprise. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_cottontail )

Let Me Tell You A Secret.

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White-Tailed Deer

Who did Bambi invite to his birthday party?

His nearest and deer-est friends.

Interesting Fact: Although most often thought of as forest animals depending on relatively small openings and edges, white-tailed deer can equally adapt themselves to life in more open prairie, savanna woodlands, and sage communities as in the Southwestern United States and northern Mexico. These savanna-adapted deer have relatively large antlers in proportion to their body size and large tails. Also, a noticeable difference exists in size between male and female deer of the savannas. The Texas white-tailed deer (O. v. texanus), of the prairies and oak savannas of Texas and parts of Mexico, are the largest savanna-adapted deer in the Southwest, with impressive antlers that might rival deer found in Canada and the northern United States. Populations of Arizona (O. v. couesi) and Carmen Mountains (O. v. carminis) white-tailed deer inhabit montane mixed oak and pine woodland communities.[21] The Arizona and Carmen Mountains deer are smaller, but may also have impressive antlers, considering their size. The white-tailed deer of the Llanos region of Colombia and Venezuela (O. v. apurensis and O. v. gymnotis) have antler dimensions similar to the Arizona white-tailed deer.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_deer )

Deer Me To Jump?!

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White-Tailed Deer

What is the cheapest kind of meat?

Deer Balls, two for under a Buck!

Interesting Fact: White-tailed deer are generalists and can adapt to a wide variety of habitats.[20] The largest deer occur in the temperate regions of Canada and United States. The northern white-tailed deer (O. v. borealis), Dakota white-tailed deer (O. v. dacotensis), and northwest white-tailed deer (O. v. ochrourus) are some of the largest animals, with large antlers. The smallest deer occur in the Florida Keys and in partially wooded lowlands in the neotropics. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_deer )