I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.


F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )


Flying Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 280.

Hooded Merganser ( Male ) 

A police officer stops a Bob’s car.

Police Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Bob: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Bob: “No, to do it.”

Interesting Fact:They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )  

I Dont Give A DUCK!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings.

Don’t Forget To Duck!

F/6.3, 1/400, ISO 400.

Hooded Merganser

What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me.

Interesting Fact: On the bird family tree, Hooded Mergansers (genus Lophodytes) lie between goldeneyes (Bucephala) and the other North American mergansers (Mergus). They share many courtship behaviors and calls with both of those groups. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )


F/8.0, 1/2000, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

your looking sharp.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend the breeding season in northern forested habitats near large lakes and rivers. Since they nest in cavities of large trees, breeding Common Mergansers are usually found in mature forests. They spend winters on large lakes, rivers, and reservoirs in the southern and coastal regions of their breeding range, and in additional wintering grounds across the northern and western United States. They tend to prefer freshwater wintering habitat over saltwater, but they may winter in coastal bays, estuaries, and harbors. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Don’t You Flap Your Wings At Me!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Hooded Merganser

In School

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Bob, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Bob: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Interesting Fact:  The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

Emo Ducks


F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers

Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach?

Yes. It’s better to swim in water.

Interesting Fact: The Red-breasted Merganser breeds farther north and winters farther south than the other American mergansers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

Just Got My Hair Did!

This Post Is Dedicated To Amber Hope It Will Bring A Smile To Your Face!

Red-breasted Merganser Female

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser ( Female )

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”

Interesting Fact: Red-breasted Merganser: Breeds in Alaska and across northern Canada to Newfoundland and south to the Great Lakes. Spends winters chiefly along the coasts from Alaska south to northern Mexico, from Maritime Provinces south to Florida, and along the Gulf Coast. Preferred habitat for breeding includes wooded lakes and tundra ponds; found mainly on saltwater during winter. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/115/overview/Red-breasted_Merganser.aspx )