I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/overview )

Flying Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 280.

Hooded Merganser ( Male ) 

A police officer stops a Bob’s car.

Police Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Bob: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Bob: “No, to do it.”

Interesting Fact:They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )  

I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.

common-merganser-1

F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Eat My Bubbles!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Tom and Bobby are talking:

Bobby: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Tom: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Bobby: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Interesting Fact: Its breedinghabitat is freshwater lakes and rivers across northern North America, Greenland, Europe, and Asia. It nests in sheltered locations on the ground near water. It is migratory and many northern breeders winter in coastalwaters further south. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

I Dont Give A DUCK!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Don’t Forget To Duck!

F/6.3, 1/400, ISO 400.

Hooded Merganser

What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me.

Interesting Fact: On the bird family tree, Hooded Mergansers (genus Lophodytes) lie between goldeneyes (Bucephala) and the other North American mergansers (Mergus). They share many courtship behaviors and calls with both of those groups. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

PAUSE For A Moment And REFLECT

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Red breasted Merganser 

What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home?

Where on Earth have you been?

Interesting Fact: The female creates a depression on the ground that she covers with dead grasses, forming a shallow bowl. She plucks down feathers from her breast to help insulate the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

 

Always Be Yourself… Unless You Can Be A Duck… Then Always Be A Duck.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200. 

Red-breasted Merganser 

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.

One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!”

The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!”

Interesting Fact: Red-breasted Mergansers are among the fastest flying ducks, clocking speeds of up to 81 miles per hour.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

 

Bad Hair Day: Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers 

Can February March?

No, but April May.

Interesting Fact:Red-breasted Mergansers nest along forested riverbanks, marsh edges, lakeshores, coastal islands, and sandy shores with vegetation. They are never far from water. Female Red-breasted Mergansers select a spot on the ground under dense cover from low tree branches, fallen logs, or boulders. They nest alone or in colonies often with gulls and terns. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )